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I have three boys. Ages 7, 4 & 1 and I am constantly thinking I'm going to get sick and leave them without a mom. It all started about 2 1/2 years ago when I convinced myself I had lymphoma. I started having a pain in one of my lymph nodes by my jaw. So, of course I googled. Now, before googling this of course I had normal fears but nothing like now. When I googled, lymphoma came up. Started googling that and literally had all the symptoms!!! Night sweats, weight loss, pain, and enlarged lymph node. I was so scared to go to the doctor but my husband made me. He literally thought I was nuts. The first time I went to the doc I felt brushed off. She didn't even wanna do blood work! So of course I went home and googling more. Husband made me go back to doc as I couldnt stop thinking that I am really sick. When I went back she ran blood work. Everything came back great. So why am I having so many symptoms of lymphoma??! I was convinced she's missing something. I went back again and wanted her to order an ultrasound. She did and my lymph nodes were all fine. She suggested I should go on an antidepressant, so i did and it helped a lot. All pains went away. THEN, I got pregnant w my third son and had to stop the antidepressant. Surprisingly, I did ok during pregnancy. I think my hormones took over. Even thought around 26 weeks I started coughing up blood then my calf starting hurting and it all spun out of control again. I was convinced I was gonna Die from a pulmonary clot. Doctors were convinced I was fine, but I couldn't shake it. That went away and I was ok for about 3-4 months and now I have been having pain in my left breast. Pain travels to armpit too so I am automatically thinking its BC. I breast fed for a year. Just weaned about 2 months ago. Since then I have a pitting too. I do have pitting on both breasts but its worse on my left. So the pitting and pain on my left breast is driving me insane and I keep thinking I have BC and I'm gonna die and leave me kids wo a mom. I don't feel any lumps in the left that I don't feel in my right but the pain and pitting scares me! I'm so scared to go to the doctor because I don't want then to tell me something I fear the most. Help?!
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