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health anxiety, or am i really dying!!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

sher08
sher08

Soooo iv been suffering from health anxiety for over a year, first started when i had a swollen lymphnode in my groin i was convinced it was cancer, then i had bowel problems and was convinced i had bowel cancer! I was constantly at the docs last year and also a&e as i had a bad anxiety attack in work and thought i was going to die so my boss phoned an ambulance! It took over my life i was so scared of going to bed everynight and not waking up, i taught my daughter how to ring for help on my mobile incase anything happened to me and always left the key in the front door so she could open it incase she needed to get out or paramedics needed to come in (sounds crazy but its not fun to go through), constantly overthinking, tired, intrusive thoughts and i became really depressed so my doctors prescribed sertraline! It took me a while to take these as i was scared of the side effects but i then decided that i couldnt possibly feel any worse so i started to take them and after about 10 weeks i noticed that i wasnt googling every symptom, or feeling around for lumps! But then 4 weeks ago my anxiety came back i had pains in my chest and thought i was either going to have a heartattack, stroke or breast cancer, back to docs and she put me on a higher dose of sertraline! The instrusive thoughts are under control but iv been getting really bad headaches all the time, feel like my head is stuck in a vice, have pins and needles in my head, im dizzy, heart palps and im thinking could this be a brain tumour as surely my head couldnt be this sore all the time for no reason, my family think im a hypochondriac so iv stopped telling them and my doctor how i feel! My heads a prison and im struggling to deal with it on my own.....

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • shez32
    shez32 sher08

    Posted

    I'm almost the same. I had tummy upset lngt i went up a height and waa saying am dying bla bla. Got in such an anxious state. My thoughts were running wild. I waa scared to sleep incase I died. I slept and woke up little off but just anxouis over lngts ordeal. I keep thinkng I'm dying over tiny thjngs it's got me house bound and just all over. It started on my mirtazapine for my anxity and intrusive thoughts but just seems to of got worse. I'm waiting on cbt but also doing stuff online. Mainly about letting negative thoughts pass by in my mind and mot latch on to them. Learning to allow them space and not react as they love an anxious over thinkng mind. It does take time to learn but many do. Just allow the thought that u have hesd ache and going to die etc come in and laugh at it and think boy am I creative ;-)

    It is all about not fearing our thoughts and pay no attention everyone gets them. II'm getting them now while yapping away here but thry can't hurt me and in time I will be more resistant to them just taked time and plenty relaxation. I also tell my self ok shez u thought u were dying millions of them now and u can still yap away etc so pack it in haha. Distracting ur mind is good. Hope your oK and I feel what u are going through too judt remember thoughts can't hurt us x x

    • sher08
      sher08 shez32

      Posted

      Thanks hun, its awful especially when those closest to u just dont understand! Literally sitting in work now tryin to calm myself down from a panic attack! Yes theres some good sites on line and apps for your phone aswell, my instrusive thoughts arnt too bad im manageing them as i know they are a load of sh@t that would never happen lol but its just the feeling of constantly feeling sick or a bit funny! I forget what normal feels like! R u on meds?? X
    • Karl_-_UK
      Karl_-_UK sher08

      Posted

      ..."its awful especially when those closest to u just dont understand!"...

      I totally agree Sher ...not only awful but soul destroying and painful!

    • shez32
      shez32 sher08

      Posted

      Yeah been on mirtazapine 15 over a year.It does nothing but make me groggy and tired. I font think meds agree with me. Rather learn to sort my self clear headed etc. Today is a struggle but I'm trying to apply my tools of letting negative thoughts go etc. U deserve to high 5 ur self for going to work blimey u can't leave me street haha
  • Karl_-_UK
    Karl_-_UK sher08

    Posted

    Sher ..I feel for you..

    Chances that you are dying are very very slim. Probably more chance of you dying today from a red lorry driven by a one eyed butcher killing you in a road accident. Sounds a strange and bizarre thing for me or anyone to say but it puts your worry over dying in the maaner you described into perspective. Think about it!

    Your BRAIN ..or more specifically the part of it commonly called our 'SUBCONCIOUS thinking is like a motor ...it is largely if not solely responsible for how we perceive things around us, the future, the here and now ..everything really.

    BUT it can distort our reality and overrides our concious thinking ...what's true or real or fact.

    E.g. Skinny person stands in front of a mirror. Fact is she/he is skinny ...everyone else sees this. Its FACT! BUT to the skinny person all they see is a fat person ..a ugly person etc etc. Their conscious thinking knows its daft to think this BUT their SUBCONCIOUS is repeatingly over and over again convincing them they are fat.

    Get my point?

    Visualise for a moment: A BIG iceberg floating in the sea. The little bit visible above the sea level represents CONSCIOUS THOUGHT ...however there's a massive part to that iceberg that one can't see. Its hidden below the sea level and this represents SUBCONCIOUS THOUGHT. Now, which part of that iceberg is the greater ..which part influes the direction it travels?

    Got it?

    Me? All this is rich coming from me as I fight my own demons ...my own anxiety and depression. STILL knowledge is power so I hope my understanding of just how a life ( my life ..your life ..anyone's life) can be affected or even destroyed by bad bad illogical or mountain out of a mole hill thoughts helps me in that fight.

    Hope I've made sense and brought you a little peace!

    Take care Sher

    • shez32
      shez32 Karl_-_UK

      Posted

      Good writing Karl. Defo makes sense.

      Guess it's about believing in our self's too in a away. If we belive we are ok more then we don't hopefully in time the feeling ok might over take.

    • Karl_-_UK
      Karl_-_UK shez32

      Posted

      Yes you are right ...even 'believing in yourself' is or can be a subconscious thought. So I guess if you keep repeating to yourself positive affirmations like I MUST BELIEVE IN MYSELF ( saying it over and over sgsin say when meditating) ...stands a chance you'll reprogram yourself over time.

      Its all about what story your subconscious is telling you ...and we act out accordingly!

      Wishing you a peaceful one Shez

  • archemedes
    archemedes sher08

    Posted

    Firstly there are seldom any symptoms of a brain tumour, so I think it highly unlikely that is what you are suffering from.

    Secondly, please do not try to diagnose a health problem from Google.

    Google is an amazingly large collection of opinions, some of them good, but many of them completely wrong and totally misleading especially to someone suffering with clear symptoms of anxiety.

    Always take the advice of your doctor who can actually meet with you, talk to you, diagnose your problem and treat it, as opposed to Google who can do none of these other than make things a lot worse for you.

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