Health anxiety very severe, need help?

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i am terrified of dying young. I imagine in my mind being told that I have months to live and dying of cancer. My eyes well up through fear. I am terrified because I can't leave my mum. She has had a terrible life with my dad, childhood and chronic pain and since I was young she said I was the best thing in her life and her saviour. She used to say if anything happened to me she would kill herself. I worry and panic about the future. I wish I could stay young and stress free instead of being 28 and nearer death. Media health campaigns and scare stories regarding health terrify me. Sometimes I see no point planning the future in case I die or jinxing something. So I have no savings and a dead end job with little education. I currently can't afford any help and am waiting for NHS treatment. I have a cervical smear tomorrow and am terrified I will be told I'm dying. Please has anyone got any advice? Thank you so much for anyone who has. 

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  • Posted

    Hello Dear Ellie36182,

    I am so sorry to see your predicament .I fully understand you not wanting to leave your Mother she gave birth to you ,and brought you up loving you and caring for you ,giving you the best she could do.

    However does she know how you feel?I don`t think for one moment she would want you to feel this way .Does your Mother see a Dr /is she on medications?

    Re your fear of dying young ,I sympathise with you ,but I have to add,lots and lots of people much older than you ,also fear dying(not young ) I admit but dying never the less.

    If we think about it Ellie,it is something none of us can escape ,you know what ?all of us from the moment of our birth as each second passes we are each and everyone of the second nearer to the death of our physical body.

    Sorry I am NOT trying to put more fear onto you bless you.

    It is sometimes a comfort to know this ,as for myself ,I am lucky I have never been afraid of dying,just of leaving all my loved ones behind.I do however have other fears ,which I have been unable to get rid of ,this too i spoils life for me at times.Idf you read my postings you will be able to read them and see what I mean Ellie.

    When I think of dying ,I think straight away ,my body is simply my overcoat ,and it has worn a bit on the thin side ,and it is being removed and replaced,

    I am leaving my body behind ,but my spirit is returning home to whence it came ,this is a comfort to many ,I hope it can be a comfort to you too Dear Ellie.if you would like to email me in private in here Ellie please feel free to do so ,

    Take Care

    millyimp1322

    xx

    PS you mention the NHS are you in the UK ?

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  • Posted

    Hi Ellie

    You really are in a bad overly anxious and depressed state. You are imagining the worst when it's not possible to see into our future. You are 28 so you are at an age when things can still change in your favour and for the better. You shouldn't let all  the Media Health Campaigns scare you. The cervical smear is relativel painless but the results will probably be a week getting through to your doctors. In the meantime try to stay calm for your sake and for your mum's. Try and think for the best rather than see things for the worst then things may steadily change for you. Ask your doctor for some help with your depression. Lithium could help you, but it doesn't suit everyone. Please update me when you've had the smear as I'd like to know how you are bearing up. Take care.

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  • Posted

    I sort of know where you're coming from. To this day I'm not 100% sure what triggered my anxiety. I used to do a lot of weightlifting and I hurt my neck.One thing led to another (bloody google),and I had myself convinced I was dying from a neurological disease. That same year I became a dad,and I began to worry about not being around for my child. The neck injury made me realise that I wasn't immortal.

    I feel like I repeat the same advice on every post,but I tell you what worked for me.  

    1) Exercise- I hate running,and I hate the gym,but I would feel great after a good workout.

    2)keep yourselve occupied- I used to dread weekends becasue I was off work,which gave me more time to think.

    3)Ditch the internet-I actually gave my computer away,I couldn't trust myself not to google my symptoms.

     I still get anxious,but I've learnt to control it,and if I can do it, then you can. Once you get your clean bill of health from your smear test,don't waste that joyous feeling,drag it out,go for a coffee with friends,do something you enjoy,becasue if you go home and start thinking about it,you'll start getting negative thoughts,and before long you'll start thinking,what if they've made a mistake.

    I really do feel for you,becasue I've been there and done it,and even tho it's been 9 years  since I suffered from anxiety (my lowest point),I know exactly what you're feeling.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Pablo, that is really good advice. I used to cycle a lot and at that time I felt quite good and I think keeping occupied is very important. At the moment I have a job that is quite repetitive so my mind can wonder a lot. Yes, the Internet is a bad thing sometimes so I definitely agree there. Thanks again. Really good advice smile 
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  • Posted

    I'm the same I'm 22 and I fear the worst constantly it's got bad to when I read a article I know in dying of that it's horrible I can't focus on anything I lost my grandad last week he started not been able to swollow now I can't swollow !

    I daydream all the time about doctors telling me it's too late or I'm dying in my daydream or dead and them telling my children It's too late there sorry I'm petrified I don't like looking into the future or making plans because I feel I will jinx myself I have only started using the words death and dying ect before I just could not say them as I thought it was a jinx I still do in a way I feel I'm jinx in myself right now reading this lol I sound crazy but it's the way my anxoety has gone have you tried anything meds and cbt hasn't helped me xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Stephx,

      Am exactly the same as you in regards to not saying the word and even picking up a leaflet of an illness i feel i might 'catch' it or jinx myself to have it even if its not a contagious illness. i just feel that i really need to start planning the future but as you say its terrifying. i feel i cant look forward to the future and be happy and make exciting plans as i feel im jinxing it or feel whats the point.  i also get 'symptoms' of things and convince myself i have an illness if i have heard about it or something. i have not tried cbt as cant afford private and NHS is a long waiting list. i have tried an anti-depressent. it kind of took an edge off but i wouldnt say i was normal and i could easily work myself up over something and i was still terrified of the future. i just think now im 28 and have felt like this for years i really have to sort it out.  do you have any plans or ideas on how to get better? xxx

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    • Posted

      It's a two week wait where I am but we have a program called let's talk I wish it had helped me but my mind won't allow me to think as this as anxiety 😐 .

      I've tried most things reading books on health anxiety doing relaxation techniques off YouTube ect nothing is helping I thought writing my symtoms down and keeping a diary would help turns out I'm horsing papers with massive of symtoms on for no reason I'm stuck 😯 mine hasn't ever been this bad iv had anxiety for years and years but it has never been as bad as it is now I am convinced they is something more xxx

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    • Posted

      I think its a few months wait where i am which isnt great.  I have a book called Overcoming Health Anxiety and it says about doing fear exposure and these things look incredibly scary and difficult to do and I havent even attempted to do them yet but apparently thats meant to be a good way to overcome most fears. I have also had it for years but i have literally had enough of it now and i just want to live a normal life.  part of me is worried that if i stop having health anixiety i might start missing symptoms and become too careless.  do you go to the doctors a lot? i do and i think my doctor thinks im mental and my work arent really happy with me going off regularly either.  why do you think its something more now and you didnt before can i ask? xxx
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    • Posted

      That's me I'm scared of missing symtoms or ignoring them I try to ignore all the pains ect but I think if I ignore them them it will be something bad .

      I used to go to doctors a lot but iv stopped I'm actually scared no to go to doctors and hospitak really scared I g

      Had to be pushed by my friend to go last week I'm glad she did help me though .

      Before my anxiety was just worry but cope able I would have panic attacks every night which became normal and control able because I'd know they are panic attacks same symtoms ect I don't get all the classic panic symtoms now I get ones that don't seem to be related which scares me my panic attacks have calmed down a lot but now when I do get them anytime of the day anywhere they hit me like iv never had one before my belly feels as though im been pushed off a cliff ect it's more intense and these all day symtoms are litrally all day non stop it's one thing after another and I can't cope with it I don't feel well anymore like I used to I feel ill all the time that's why I believe it's more it's my body warning me something is going on xxx

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