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Heartbroken and desperate

Posted , 4 users are following.

mami5
mami5

My 16yr old left me tonight.  My ex came and picked him up.  He's taken such a huge chunk of my heart with him.  Feel so lost and suicidal.  Trying to numb the pain with vodka, but it hurts so much.

2 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • paul67642
    paul67642 mami5

    Posted

    dont drink the vodka please just talk on here

     

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 mami5

    Posted

    Oh Mami, I am so, so sorry.  I know how much it hurts, I wish I could do something to help.  I even wish I could come and drink that vodka with you, we could get drunk together and have a good cry.  It worries me that you are drinking alone though, please, please be careful.  I think you should go to bed now and sleep.

    I wanted to ask you about how the birthday went yesterday, but I guess you won't be feeling like talking about that.

    I am so sorry love.

    I wish I had seen this earlier, but I couldn't have helped I suppose.

    I am here if you want to talk at any time on pm.  You are so special to me.

    Pat

    • mami5
      mami5 patricia44773

      Posted

      Thanks Pat.  Don't worry haven't drunk much.  I'm not my Mam.  Today's been so hard.  I'm broken.  Really don't feel I have anything to live for anymore.  So sorry.  You've been such a good friend to me. xxx
    • paul67642
      paul67642 mami5

      Posted

      we should all go down and have a good chat and a cry
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 mami5

      Posted

      I still am and always will be your friend.

      Tell me you are still OK.  Don't frighten me so much, please.  Tell me you are not going to do anything tonight, please, please.

  • paul67642
    paul67642 mami5

    Posted

    talk to every one on here please

    i get worried about my gf sister try to get my son of me please talk dont be alone

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 mami5

    Posted

    How are you today, Mami?  I thought of you when I woke up and hoped there would be something here to put my mind at rest.

    Take care my friend.

    Pat xxxx

    • mami5
      mami5 patricia44773

      Posted

      Hi Pat, I'm still here, struggling on.  Sorry to worry you so much. xxx
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 mami5

      Posted

      Please don't apologise.  Glad to hear you posting.  You are very brave to struggle on as you do.

      Try to have a good day,

      Patxxxxxxxx

    • mami5
      mami5 patricia44773

      Posted

      Don't feel very brave.  Just plodding on hour by hour, or even minute by minute.

      Thanks for your friendship and all your support.  Much appreciated.  xxxx

  • peter2824
    peter2824 mami5

    Posted

    Mami, are you never going to see him again? If not why not? Is there a court order stopping you from seeing him? After all he is 16 years old so he can make up his own mind. He is probably feeling the same as you inside. If you take your own life it is permenant and you will never see him again, however withn time you will be able to see him and all that hurt and unhappy feelings will disappear. There is the other side to it, if you do do it? How will your son feel? He will have to carry around the thought that his mother was a victim of suicide. He lost his Mami and it could just end up as a vicious circle of events that carry on and on.

    mami you just keep talking and talking and talking. What that does is stops you ruminating and thinking of all those bad feelings you have. Do things different, look at yourself in a different way. You can now be your own person. Do things that you want to do. After all every mother and father in the land feels the same way when their children leave home. I must be the exception I cheered when mine left to go into the wider world. Suicidal feelings will pass with time. However have a First Aid Plan ready if your feelings get so bad, Write the things and people you can contact before trying anything. These are people who you trust and can talk to. Get them on board first and talkabout your First Aid Plan if things get too difficult. They will be there to listen to you as a buddy. If you cannot contact an organisation that deals with acute self-harming problems then get your First Aid Plan buddy to contact them for you. They will then contact you. Remember mami TIAAA (There is always an alternative) Hope you understand therenare a lot of people out there that will be hurt if you do something rash. Good luck and keep talking, even if you bore the pants off of them. Talking is the best medicine. Best regards Peter.

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