hell on earth

Posted , 8 users are following.

just a few days to go......then it will be all over. i think Monday will be a good day to die. i mean we all hate Mondays right? and we hate this terrible illness that makes us not realise reality and see what others cant sad 

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  • Posted

    Don't do it Paul!

    Whatever you feel right now, it will pass! Get help ASAP

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    • Posted

      It will. Granted, its not gonna be an overnight thing but that's why we must be strong and fight through this! Also get the help we need because sometimes we CAN'T do it on our own. Please friend, think of those who care for you that would be devastated to see you go....
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    • Posted

      Then perhaps you can open up to them somehow? They will help in any way they can I'm sure of it; much like myself... Talking to me or other people on this forum is a good start, though you may not realize or feel it... We can overcome this!
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    • Posted

      It does pass Paul it really does.  I have had depression for over 20 years.  There have been hard times, like you are going through now, but also times when things are not so bad, honestly.  I took an overdose once, but I am glad I am still alive.  Life is worth living.

      Do what I do and battle.  Don't let depression win.  Yes it is hard, and you think you are not strong enough to fight, but you are.

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  • Posted

    Hey Paul....nothing is too late....stay strong....its not worth it.....so many people care about you and want to help u.....its easier to give up because at the end you want have anything....but its harder to stay strong....And  in the end You will have happiness and joy....while spending time with the People you love.....Jesus loves you....stay strong
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  • Posted

    Hello Paul, please do not die, we care about you. I have personal experience of suicide my husband and nephew commited suicide and we have never gotten over it, we never will. We as in me and my two daughters he left behind they were five and three at the time. He misssed out on their childhood, they missed out on a father and now he is missing out on his two grandchildren. I visited his grave yesterday and felt very sad. you might not see it now but you can have a life, reach out to people that can help you, including on here, we can listen and try to understand your pain. Please please don't die, it's such a waste.

    Elizabeth. 

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    • Posted

      hey Elizabeth, i am so sorry to read about your own personal experiences with suicide and its got me thinking. my daughter is 8 tomorrow and my plan about Monday on the basis of seeing her one more time then leaving this life. but since reading your comment i think i may have to change my plan. if i die 2 days after her birthday then every birthday after is going to be a costly reminder that i didnt think about too much. i need to sit down with my gp, my therapist and shrink to figure out what to do. the desire for killing myslf is so very strong but i need to think about my wee girl before myself. thanks for posting........u may just have changed my mind somewhat x 
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    • Posted

      Hi Paul, when i read your first post i wanted to reach out to you and hopefully i have. If you did carry out your plan and i hope now you won't, you wouldn't see your daughters milestones,turning into a teenager, turning 16 and blossoming into a young woman, turning 18, 21. Passing exams at school, getting married and having children of her own and so much more. At any age your daughter was if you died intentionally would be painful, but a young child would be awful. My girls and myself lived with the stigma. At school when people asked them what happened to Daddy they couldn't tell them, how can a 3 and 5 year old say daddy chose to die, he chose to die under a train. We felt rejected and still do after all these years. I tried to help my husband but couldn't save him, i didn't understand then what he was going through. There was not much help in those days. If i can help save someone now if only in a small way i will feel i have at least tried. I only told my story to you not for sympathy, i don't need that, or for any other reason but to help you think of your little girl and other family you may have. I know your in pain and i hope you can see your GP, therapist and talk, talking and opening up is is a release. If i could talk to you face to face i would. I have had Counselling and talking therapies and it's helped. Samaratians are available 24-7 and if talking to them gets you through a difficult hour then ring them. Suicide is not the answer, thou it will free you from pain, it will cause and create a life time of pain for your loved ones. I don't want your daughter to go through what my daughters did. I remember once when my youngest went to the library after school about 10 years after her dad died to look in the archives to read the local paper about her dad's death. I never kept it from them how he died but i did not go into the injuries he suffered at such a young age, it would of been too much for them to comprehend. My daughters have also suffered anger and depression caused through this and i have too. Beleive me i have felt suicidal at times but i would never put my girls through that again. Sorry it's a long post, but i wanted you to know the impact you taking your life would have on others. If you wish to private message me i will reply privately to you. Keep talking here we don't mind. See how others have cared about you from the posts on here. I wish you the best. Sending hugs.

      Elizabeth xx

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    • Posted

      Elizabeth I am so very, very sorry about your husband.  How strong you are to have brought up those two children when grief must have been so strong.  I admire yiou and the way you have coped with life.  Bless you and your family. 
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  • Posted

    Paul. Please, please, please get in touch with the Samaritans and mind today, you really need and deserve help... also go to your new A and E and tell them how bad you feel, do not leave your family distraught... I am sure they would be horrified at how unhappy and desperate you feel... despair is a terrible emotion do not go through it alone... please...

    Huge hugs to you. Deirdre xx

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