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the high is soooo good but the low is destroying me one coversation can destroy the feeling with only a few words....then the down and the knifes look about right.....too bleed is such a release but comes with it the hatred and self loathing for doing it....if only i had the balls to just make one cut deeeper than the rest and accept it....that would be both the high and the low....there is no balance
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celtics paul30710
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paul30710 celtics
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sg91 paul30710
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hypercat paul30710
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Hi Paul I used to get like that (not much now) and I worked out it was a false euphoria which is why the sudden low is so extreme. It was stress with me with produced the euphoria and the more stress I was under the more extreme it was. I would take great care with my work clothes and even put make up on to hide how I was really feeling from myself. Inevitably a crass remark would send me down into the dephs and sometimes into floods of tears.
The more I tried to disguise how I was feeling the lower the lows. I learned to watch for the false euphoria and beware of it to steel myself for the downs. Forewarned is forearmed! Hope this helps a bit. x
paul30710 hypercat
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