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Hello

Posted , 10 users are following.

hypercat
hypercat

I am a newbie and just want to say hi.

I have suffered from depression on and off for many years and am looking for support,  empathy and advice.

I am 60,  female and live in the UK

1 like, 31 replies

31 Replies

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  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 hypercat

    Posted

    Hello, this forum is a great support as sufferers ourselves so you have come to the right place. I have suffered depression from age 19 and i am now nearly 58. Are you on any medication or therapies. 
    • hypercat
      hypercat elizabeth20203

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply elizabeth.  I was a depressed child who grew up into a depressed adult.  I am on sertraline 150 mg and they do help on a day to day basis.  But sometimes the depression is so bad that they do very little.  Fortunately it has not been so bad for a while but am always dreading the next attack.

      It's great to talk to fellow suffers as I have no one else who understands.  My sisters don't and while friends do up to a point they soon get bored with it.  Don't blame them!  

      This does seem like a good site and am glad I found it.

      Are you on meds? if you don't mind me asking.  Are they helping you?  

        

    • kat50
      kat50 hypercat

      Posted

      This is a good forum because each of us know what we're going through. Keep talking.  You can private message anyone at anytime if you need a private chat.
    • marieC
      marieC kat50

      Posted

      Hi Kat, can you tell me how to private message, please? it is something I don't know how to do and someone told me I could do so to them and I looked but couldn't see how to do it.
    • kat50
      kat50 marieC

      Posted

      There is an envelope at the side of the name press that and it takes you to a private message box.  
    • elizabeth20203
      elizabeth20203 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi again, yes I am on meds I take Citalopram at the moment as I started to get anxiety and panic attacks which I had never had before. At the moment I feel not too bad with depression or anxiety, panic attacks have subsided. I also had a awful childhood which I won't go into. I have no support from anywhere. Years ago I did have group talking therapy and counselling of which both was very helpful. If you feel very depressed you may benefit from counselling. Mind organisation is good as it Is usually a donation or according to you finances rather than private. May

      be a waiting list so why not look into It soon. Anytime you need to talk I

      am on here most days.Hope this helps.

    • hypercat
      hypercat elizabeth20203

      Posted

      Hi Elizabeth many thanks for your reply.  I have had counselling on and off over the years which has helped quite a lot.  The one that helped the most was the group counselling but there is nothing like that now where I live or I haven't seen anything.   Trouble is I am out of work and cannot afford to pay privately.  The NHS counselling services seem quite hopeless now as well as having a long waiting list. 

      I did google 'Mind' and 'Sane' etc.  but their nearest meeting places are too far away to travel as I don't live in a large town.  

      I appreciate your offer of talking to you and might take you up on it.  Thank you so much.  xx  

    • elizabeth20203
      elizabeth20203 hypercat

      Posted

      Always here if you need to talk you can private message if you want. I am also out of work due to mental health and physical issues so understand. I feel very isolated at times.
    • marieC
      marieC kat50

      Posted

      Thanks Kat, that explains it better, and I saw it, so now I know what to do.  Really appreciate that.
  • marieC
    marieC hypercat

    Posted

    Hi Hypercat, I'm 65 female and also live in the UK.  I suffer with depression, but I'm not as bad as I used to be, but have problems getting motivated and changing things.  I'm not on anti-depressants, I tried them for long enough to see if they were of any benefit, but none of the ones I tried seemed to help and although I know you shouldn't do it, just came off them straight away and still didn't feel any different.

    I've been back to the GP and asked if there was anything else I could try and he said "I think you've tried everything".

    I have had therapy, though, which has helped me.  Some of my problem was anxiety, expecially social anxiety and I paid for EMDR, which I really couldn't afford to do, but couldn't afford not to, if you can understand me, which helped me a lot, as I had an unhappy childhood, that affected me pretty badly and after 60 odd years, really wanted something to change.

    I'm currently having CBT for my hoarding disorder, and it should help with other things too, at least I am hoping it will and someone else who hoarded told me that they were having it and it has helped them.

    I'd had conventional counselling, where you just talk and that helped once, but I had it after that and it didn't help me, or at least, not after it had finished.

    If you have a local MIND, it could be worth giving them a ring, as they may have suggestions or be able to point you to a counsellor (Wellbeing Service eg).

    If you read other posts there may be other things suggested that may help too.

    • hypercat
      hypercat marieC

      Posted

      Thanks for your support and advice Marie.  Much appreciated.  x
  • sue34151
    sue34151 hypercat

    Posted

    Hi there I to suffer with depression and have done for many years about six years ago everything came to a head when I was trying to juggle far to much and I became incapable of getting out of bed and doing anything and I was recommeded to the mental health team as my doctor was extremely worried about me it have tried many antidepressants and at this stage they were not helping at all so I was prescribed venlafaxine 75mg after a few weeks it was put up to 150mg and I'm happy to say they made me feel so much better but it still took a good six months before trying to go back to work and when I did go back they were not at all helpfull just expected me to go back working very long hours so I left, I was very unhappy with myself as I had not planned such an early retirement at 56 and I wasn't really in a good place to look for work. I am still on this medication because I don't want to go back to that dark place ever again I'm 62 now and try to take each day at a time and focus on taking care of myself, as a mum and grandmother I have always been such a strong person for everyone else and never really had the time to look after me I always felt very guilty if I didn't fill my time looking after everyone's needs, but I'm trying very hard to find things I like doing.

    Good luck this is a good place to get any advice and not feel alone depression is a very lonely illness but there is always someone on here to give you a bit of support if you need it

    take care sue

     

    • hypercat
      hypercat sue34151

      Posted

      Oh my goodness Sue that could be me talking!  I had the same thing with my last job.  They did make some 'reasonable adjustments' for me but not with the things which were making me stressed ie targets.  They just said that is the nature of the job.

      I worked for the DWP in their contact centre which was very pressurised and stressful.  After time off and getting written warning etc. they did sack me at the age of 56.  Due to depression and some lung damage I cannot get another job and have been out of work since.  I am 60.  Because of the change in the retirement age I am expected to sign on JSA (wouldn't get ESA as not 'sick' enough) and live on JSA and look for work.  I am completely fed up of it and feel useless and unwanted now.   I can't get a job and can't get my pension until 65.  Sometimes life doesn't seem living any more.  

      Oh ignore me - just feeling sorry for myself and will shut up now.  It does seem a poor reward though for working full time all my life and now just flung on the scrapheap to rot!  xx

  • Bevanne
    Bevanne hypercat

    Posted

    Hi Hypercat

    I feel for you

    I too have suffered with depression for most of my life and didn't know I had until about twenty years ago

    Both myself and my husband worked in mental health but my depression suddenly came to a head with a panic attack 

    I thought I was dying it was awful and even now when I have a panic attack it's still as bad even know and I have all the education I need about mental health but it's still difficult even after all these years

    I try to think if I'm having a bad day

    Then it's a bad day and if I'm aware it is a bad day then I hope the next day will be better

    But it's rough

    My thoughts are with you

    • hypercat
      hypercat Bevanne

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply Bevanne.  It is very difficult to cope with depression isn't it as it impacts on every area of your life.  

      My depression is mainly low grade on a day to day basis.  When my stress levels are low and there are no major worries in my life it is usually under control.  

      It is generally sparked when I feel under attack usually in a job when I have to perform.  Any criticism or the feeling of being put under too much pressure sparks off major stress which then becomes depression if allowed to continue.  This was the case in my last job where I was made to feel inadequate and also bullied by a supervisor.  The feelings of inadequacy and being trapped ended up in a suicide    attempt eventually.  

    • jean91171
      jean91171 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Hypercat, 

      I am new to this site. As soon as I read your post I immediately thought "thats me". I also spark when under attack in a job, being under too much pressure. I recently started a new job, plenty of young, bright computer geniuses. My bosses are target driven without exception. I became scared, jumpy and insecure, developed brain fog to cope. A shutdown I think. I resigned before I was sacked. It feels good to know Im not the ony one who crumbles under criticism.

      Your post really helped me to see more clearly the triggers to look out for. Thankyou so much

    • hypercat
      hypercat jean91171

      Posted

      Glad I was able to help you Jean.   When you mentioned the word 'targets' in your last job my heart thumped!  That was what my last job was like - targets,  targets and more bliddy targets.  It drove me mad....  Trouble is a lot of jobs are like that now.  I hope you find something more suited to you.  x
    • jean91171
      jean91171 hypercat

      Posted

      The triggers I will look for are exactly what you described. Being under attack at work, feel inadequate and criticised, feeling pressure to perform to impossible standards and targets.  The real harm starts when fear and dread creep up on you and stays there in everyday life. I sat at my desk dreading the day ahead. Before I read your post, I was convinced I was a failure and unemployable. You dont realise how much good your words have done to my broken ego. I was galloping at a pace I couldnt possibly maintain and blamed myself for everything. Thankyou my darling,  karma will reward you.   

       

    • hypercat
      hypercat jean91171

      Posted

      Oh Jean thank you for your lovely remarks.  I thought I was alone to in my feelings of stress at work.  I had a great job in London working in insurance.  I had my own area and lots of autonomy and no targets as long as the work was done.  My work was always correct and done and I know I was considered a good worker and I felt quite a lot of pride in that.  My self esteem at work was high.

      I then moved and got a job in a contact cente.  It was awful.  Stuck on the phones all day with a headset glued to my ear.  The customer weren't the problem - it was management and the unreachable targets they imposed and the continual pressure.  They had what they called a 'real time officer'  and if you were in the wrong code on the phone for a few seconds longer than you should have been someone would ring down to my line manager to ask why?  It wasn't a case of working harder there but smarter and I am not very good at that!  

      I was there over 5 years and hated every day.  I got very stressed which turned into depression and suicidal feelings.  I took time off sick and was sacked.  I felt like a trapped animal running round and round it's  wheel and getting nowhere fast. 

      This has had a lasting effect on me as I now feel I am a crap worker and have no self esteem or confidence in my skills.   Unfortunately most jobs in my field are like that nowadays.  

      I hope you manage to find work without targets!  Good luck love.  xx 

    • jean91171
      jean91171 hypercat

      Posted

      I too was in a call centre, surrounded by young, bright computer genuises, super confidence levels, superb knowledge, fearless. It chipped away at me until there was  nothing left of me. I see adverts for jobs now and immediately think I cant do that job so I dont apply. I worked in one of the top 3 banks in UK for 20 yrs and then your local bank and had no major problems. It  was the call centre job that floored me.  Many, many thanks I feel the fog lifted today 
    • hypercat
      hypercat jean91171

      Posted

      Call centres should be banned by law as they are inhuman!  xx
    • jean91171
      jean91171 hypercat

      Posted

      As well as line managers, team leaders, and all the jobsworth supervisors who have no regard for the underlings. Karma will catch up with you eventually xxx  
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