help

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hi am new to this. i have been down for few years now and feel like everything is a struggle. Have tried antidepressants with no help. the worse feeling in knowing you are on your own my kids dont deserve this they deserve better than me

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there

    It is a terrible thing to feel so bad. There are so many antidepressants but getting one that helps is a hard long road.

    Do you have any family or friends to support you? It does help especially when you have children.

    Maybe some counselling would help you. I am starting on Wednesday and hope it will help.

    Keep trying hard to fight it. Try to think positive, I know it's hard.

    Hugs to you and good luck. X

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  • Posted

    Your children don't deserve better than you.  You are their mother and nobody can replace you.  You are the apple of their eye as they are yours.  They are a beautiful gift that you brought into this world to love and be loved by you and to learn from and teach you what it's like to be innocent and imaginative again.

    I am guessing you are a single mother from the way you sound.  Being a single mother can be very difficult and exhausting as I witnessed from my own mother when she brought me up in my teen years.

    What you could try is finding out who their friends are and where they live and getting to know their parents.  You can start this by something as simple as escorting them to their friends house and introducing yourself to their parents as they go play with their friends.  The other parents (if they're willing) can help support you while the kids play together and you could also arrange sleepovers to give you a little timeout to relax.

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    • Posted

      I forgot to add this bit on since there's no Edit button.  As human beings we're not meant to do everything by ourselves, including raising our own children.  There's no shame in seeking help from other parents and getting to know them.  Society has shown us that trying to do things independently in our own tight-knit circle of immediate families results in us getting worn out faster and in some cases suffering from mental breakdowns.  It pays well to mixing with other trusted parents and to learn from each other ways of coping when things start to make a turn for the worse.
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  • Posted

    I feel exactly like you a lot of the time,but you have an illness that is in no way your fault. I know that's probably not how you feel and personally I think that's just because of how society as a whole views mental health.

    You and your kids don't deserve this illness, but you are not your illness. You are still here, battling this thing and that is worth a lot in my book. Your bravery in just being here shows strength. Your kids love you. I am trying to accept that I have an illness and not a personality flaw perhaps this thought will help you too.

    As for counselling. I am about 6sessions in and finding it is helping, but I saw another councillor about a year and a half ago and found it didn't help at all. I now realize that whilst that councillor was very kind and caring his style of working just wasn't right for me. Maybe you could consider going down this road again....I know its hard when it didn't work before, but I'm glad I gave it another shot. Things are still difficult for me but I now have hope, which as we all know is like gold dust.

    Good luck and remember you ARE WORTHY of your kids love.

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  • Posted

    Hi

    Know how you feel im a single parent, i was told it was my sons fault i was depressed as they had behaviour problems, i lost my job because of depression, anxiety, Fatigue that the doc was treating with anti depressants that didnt help. 

    When eventually after so long of feeling like this, they found out why i was feeling this way i had B12 deficiency i cant absorb it through my stomach so have to have injections every 3 months. So get this checked and dont let the doc fob you off with a full blood count which is where they look for B12 deficiency (High MCV and Anaemia) these things didnt show up in my FBC you need a B12 test. I hope you get the help from your doc to sort you out, whatever may be causing these symptoms.

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  • Posted

    Your children love you.  It is not your fault you are ill.  I am sure they understand.  I know depression makes us think like this, but truly you are a good person.  Yes life is a big struggle when we have depression.  We need all the support we can get.  Share your feelings with your family, I am sure they would be only too happy to support you through this difficult time.

    We here will support y9ou and befriend y9ou, and that way you won't feel so alone in your struggle.  We all understand, because we know exactly how you feel.  I hope that helps a bit. 

    You are not on your own.  You have us, you have a family.  You may feel alone because depression is a very isolating illness, I know. 

    Hopefully you will get through this "down#" phase.

    Keep in touch

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