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I need urgent help/advice my daughter has been released from section three and is currently under the early intervention team she is severely depressed has no interest in abything refuses to do anything and says nothing is fun so why bother . She's crying every day and just sleeping and getting up late she sees no hope for the future and does not think anything will ever change or get better . She has been taking sertraline but this did nothing and is due to start a new antidepressant tomirriw . I feel so useless as every time I suggest doing something she says she doesn't want to as nothing interests her she can't concentrate etc she cries all the time and just says she wants to die . Is there anyone who can give me advice on hiw I can help her I feel she is so alone and nothing I do or say helps as she sees no hope for the future any advice would be appreciated

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  • Posted

    Dear Mary

    It must be devestating seeing your daughter in so much distress as a mother.

    I cant imagine what it is doing to you

    All I can relate to is your daughters ilness , in the depression and the anxiety she is with today.

    I wonder how old your daughter is ?

    And where she has been to be treated is it a local GP or a mental health Clinic?

    Trust me you are doing the best thing a mother or parent can do and that is by purely being there for her.

    While she is in such a poor mental state it will be difficult to get her to do anything.

    I have lived with depression for many etars and Anxiety for the past 3 years.

    With depression it so hard to lift a leg let alone do anything else.

    I have just had a shower today on my birthday.

    My birthday present to myself was to take a shower

    The first in I dont know how long , more than 3 weeks

    This is depression.

    I am on prozac and it does work for me for the past 15 years after the sudden death of my loving partner who dropped dead in front of me.

    I cannot offer much help as to what you can do as my expereince when my own mum flew out to Australia to give me some TLC and support, it became a horrible experience and i ended up throwing my own mum out of my home, she took a flight back to australia and for 8 years we never spoke again.

    She tried

    but at the end of the day it was for me to admit i was with this intense problem and it led me into a living hell of darkenss and isolation.

    Please dont take my expereinece as being the same as what yours may be as it can be very different

    Like i said you are showing her all the love of a mum by just being there, until things begin to  settle a little allow her to go quiet and alone in her depression , just be there at all times for her, you may find she may then start to approach you and talk to you. at least that way you can be assured the comminication even if little  it is her that is coming to you.

    If she will accept you as mum  give her a hug and just be re assuring that you are there for her.

    If you dont know what to say, you may say something like I really dont know how to fix this for you but I know if we stick together we can find a way.

    maybe even invite here to come online in here and open up to all of us.

    We are living what your dar daughter is experiencing right now

    I have found this forrum so useful and supportive.

    I have pored my heart out in here and been close to wanting to end my life

    Thank God for what we have in this forrum where we all understand and respect each other knowing the true effects of what anxiety and depression can do to our bodies minds, and soul.

    We are all here for each other and trust me when I tell you we do care and fully understand the anguish your daughter is going through and the many mums in here will know what its like to be a parent asnd watch your child suffer.

    Hugs

    All strength and courage to you.

    I am praying for you both at this very moment

    PJ

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Ozzie thAnkyou for your reply sorry to hear how hards it's veen for u x my daughter is 19 and just been released from a section three I wanted her him but feel thecl hospital took advantage of that and sent her home too soon x I just wish I cud help her but she sees no future for herself x I hope like u did at some stage she sees change can happen but I'm so worried she might not get to that stag before doing something drastic
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    • Posted

      Mary i understand fully she is your daughter 

      But leave that worry at the feet of Christ,

      I am not trying to delievr or preach in any manner to you, but at the end of the day I have come to relaize even when I tried to take my life on 2 occassions and accidently twice more, my life is borrowed, it was given to me by Christ my maker, he brought me into this world even when I am told my mum did not want me I was born for His purpose and my life will never be taken unless he allows it to happen.

      After being through so many a crisis and so much trauma in my life I have found the only way to deal with all of me is to protect all of me and I am made up of Body , Soul and Spirit.

      Your daughter is in the hands of her Maker.

      I pray and hope tonight will be able to lay your head down and know peace and calm .

      I truly hold my hand out to you and want to re assure you that nothing will hapen to your daughter no thought no self harm can ever take your daughters life way with His permission.

      We are all here for you

      I am sorry I actually dont know what a section 3 is.

      Even though I am under mental health pro's here in London I have nothing but disapointment in the services they have given me or rather left me out in the cold alone with.

      I have begged , cried and screamed for help

      I am still without thier support, there is some kind of full scale enquiry happening now to get to the bottom of what went wrong in my case when i first was given into thier professional hands.

      They dont understand my pain, they dont recognize how I am feeling and why

      The answer to them is to numb me up with meds so much i sleep for 3 days staright then I wake up to be back in the reality of living in hell and torment

      But you know something I am still here jno matter what

      I pray for a covering of the gentle spirit of Gods Mighty hand over your daughters life right now

      and for a real peace to be showered over you too .

      May you know who to turn too and be put into the right peoples caring hands over the coming days.

      Hugs and peace boyond all understanding belong to both of you this one night of your lives

      Your a living and genuine mum.

      PJ

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  • Posted

    Hi I do feel for you Mary and it must be horrible to see your beloved daughter in this state.  Have hope that she can be helped and that she will recover in due course.

    One of my second cousins was just like this - he wouldn't leave his room or talk or anything.   This went on for a long time,  probably longer because his parents didn't understand and just told him to pull himself together. 

    He is slowly coming out of it after a lot of treatment and is a lot better now.  Just be there for her and carry on being the loving and caring parent you are.   

    I don't know whether you know much about depression,  but if you google it there is stuff there for carers and this might help you.    Have hope for a better life for your girl.   Take care.  Bev x 

     

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    • Posted

      Hi he had home visits  from the mental health team and antidepressants but don't know which ones.   But what worked for him might not work for your daughter.  

      I know you feel useless but you aren't you know.  You are providing her with a home,  food,  warmth and most of all a loving mum.   What would she do without you?   My advice is just to gently try and get her to do something,  anything and encourage her as much as you can.   But if she doesn't feel up to it that's fine too.   So no pressure on her.   Time is a great healer and I hope she is feeling a lot better soon.  

      Don't forget as her carer to look after yourself as well.  It can be too easy to neglect your own needs in self sacrifice.   Don't do that please as you have to remain strong for her.    Chat with us anytime - we are always here somewhere and we will support and help you all we can.  Take care.  Bev x

       

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    • Posted

      It will take time Mary,  but I have faith that her and you will get there eventually.  Time is on her side and don't forget she has the resiliance of youth.    Bev xx
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