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For eleven years my life has been made a living hell by my neighbors not only because of because of my physical disability, but also my gender.
I try to keep myself to myself but it makes no difference.
During that time eighteen vehicles were destroyed, either smashed to pieces of filled with excrement and slurry, I've woke to find anonymous arson attacks during the night, and for eight years I slept with all of the lights on for fear of more attacks.,
My home has been raided and burglarized on many occasions and excrement and hate messages have been put through my door. I reported everything to the police time and time again but within a few weeks the attacks would start up again.
Friends got me to a place to stay temporarily for my own safety but that was was eight months ago, and I hoped things would have improved but even while I am away I am still getting the hate messages.
Most nights I fall asleep very quickly because I am so exhausted but I always wake now after an hour or so with the most terrifying dark nightmares, and when it is necessary to return to my hometown for essential items on the way I am now very physically sick. I wretch and sweat so badly. It's very embarrassing particularly as it is. In my friends car but there is nothing I actually can do to stop it. I freeze inside and I really cannot bear the thought. Because the most indescribable fear takes over me.. I re-live what has happened over and over again and at the slightest noise now I jump like a scalded cat.
I would give anything not to go through this and to be back as I used to be
Emotionally I feel numb inside. I used to have such a positive outlook on life but now nothing gives me any pleasure.
Can someone please tell me, what is happening to me to cause this?
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