HELP! Depression, anxiety, or both?!

Posted , 9 users are following.

I've posted this in the Anxiety Disorders board as well. I am just looking for the most amount of personal stories and information as possible.

The last year of my life has been a brutal one. At the age of 22, I am in the lowest of lows and I desperately need some help!

Here’s my tale:

About a year ago, a couple months after an extremely strenuous relationship, I began noticing that I was tired all the time…and all around, I wasn’t really satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed my friends, and activities…but life just wasn’t as bright and vibrant anymore after a month of noticing this ever-present fatigue, it got a bit stronger. I would wake up each morning completely zombie-mode…and that feeling would remain throughout the entirety of my day, until my head hit my pillow that evening.

Initially, I suspected some form of sleeping disorder. I set up a sleep study, got my thyroid checked, ferritin levels, all the basics. Sleep study revealed I sleep just fine and all my other blood tests came back negative.

The fatigue and the weight of the world slowly got worse over the next handful of months, UNTIL I woke up one morning and everything escalated greatly. I felt completely stoned. I couldn’t think right. I couldn’t concentrate. I felt inebriated. I felt totally disconnected and spacey. I felt as though I had no control over myself. I lost drive and motivation. I lost a lot of confidence.  I always had an incredibly sharp memory. It was actually something well known about me to those in my family and friend circles. Yet, on this morning, almost all new information could not be retained. Things that happened earlier in the day, by evening, I felt they happened a day or two before. I could no longer recount the activities I took part in. This is possibly the worst of all the symptoms. The extreme short term memory.I used to recall mon-sun quite clearly. Now, things that happened just 2 days ago seem to have happend ages ago and almost are lost. I have an impossible trying to recount my full week.  I have no context for time and I sort of feel like I’m just floating through life suffering.

For months I visited doctors getting tested by specialists. I visited a neurologist, infectious disease, I had an MRI, & I had about 20 different blood tests. NOTHING. My doctor literally said “I have no idea what this could be. I am beside myself” TOTES reassuring! I tried altering my diet entirely to organic and all natural. I continued my workouts and ran 15 miles a week. I tried sleeping even earlier. I tried all I could think of .

I have scoured the message boards and found a few people suffering from the same, but without answers.

I’m not sure if depression is the culprit, but depression sure has found its nasty venom-coated fangs into my veins. Tired, depressed, failed memory, no drive, scared…it’s no way to live. I want my life back.

PLEASE OFFER INSIGHT! I will be so grateful 

Sincerely,

Taylorsaurus Rex

1 like, 5 replies

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey Taylor!

    I am going through the exact same thing! I even had all blood tests, thyroid, MRI, EKG, you name it! and they all came back normal. Had the similar "I don't know what it is" from the doctor and that really made me feel hopeless... I would feel fatigued, dizzy, I would lose my appetite and I was losing so much weight. Well to make a long story short, I went to one last doctor whom I really liked because she actually listened to me and was thorough with what she told me. She basically told me it is anxiety mixed with mild depression. She came to the conclusion based on my symptoms and what has happened in my life lately. I wasn't really convinced because I didn't feel "depressed" or "anxious". The doctor told me that I didn't need medication or anything because it isn't severe, so she said to just try to be more active and find more things I enjoy. I started doing some yoga and meditation and that seems to help. Although I still feel dizzy sometimes slightly. I just hope it goes away and doesn't get worse... Still a bit skeptical...

    Hope this helps and sorry for the long reply... KIT and best of luck!

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  • Posted

    Hello TaylorMason.

    I think you are indeed suffering with depression/anxiety disorder and you described it so perfectly.

    There is a book called "At last a life" by Paul David that I think you would find very beneficial. 

    You are doing all the right thing that you possibly can in order to get through this so continue to do so. Please don't think that this will not end because it will. It just takes time. I know it's frustrating......you think "I'm doing all the right things,I ready to be better now" yet you still don't feel like your old self........You will. 

    The way your feel right now,didn't happen over night and it won't disappear overnight but slowly if you keep doing all you are doing,it will disappear.

    Try to find a good balance between activity and relaxation......Rest is just as important while your mind is healing as being out and about is.

    Make sure you continue to see friends and family,even if it feels false,uncomfortable and awkward right now....continue to do all you did before this. Your mind is slowly recognising positive behaviour patterns again and waiting to heal xxxx

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    • Posted

      You will eventually feel like yourself again? I have to ask you because I am going through something similar. My memory is gone.. I am so tired all the time.. I am slowly but surely getting to the point where I cant get out of bed.. and the worst part are that all my feelings are all gone.. no feelings at all.. I don’t feel love at all. I know I love my husband and my family but I don’t feel love. I was put on anti-depressants two days ago.. will medication help me honestly? The only feelings I can muster up is.. that I feel so scared. I feel like I don’t even know who I am.  I feel like this is going to last forever.
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  • Posted

    Hi Taylor... My husbands symptoms are completely identical to yours. He feels high without the euphoric feeling 24/7 for the past almost 7 years now. He's been to a million doctors as well and still has no answers. Please let me know if you have found any new info or not I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!
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    • Posted

      hi im 18 and i have been feeling exactly the same for that past month and im wondering if you've found out anything yet? i think it may possibly be some sort of disassociation related to anxiety cause ive experienced something like this before during my freshmen year of highschool. ive just never had the memory issue or the feeling of being constantly high until now.

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