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Help! I’m sure I’ve passed on Herpes

Posted , 3 users are following.

north60062
north60062

I’m feeling gutted. I’m female, dated a guy on and off for 2 years. I suspected he had someone else but denied it. After 2 days of our last sex I had cold/flu symptoms, itchiness in the genitals and then multiple ‘sores’ I went to a sexual health clinic for a full screen. They swabbed the lesions and ALL my tests came back negative. Even the herpes swab. I foolishly thought that I mustn’t have it and have now started a new relationship...I had sex with the new guy and 4 days later he came out with genital lesions..he’s never had them before. I’m gutted that I’ve now given this to him because I thought I was negative. Because I don’t have lesions I can’t get swabbed again now. I suspect I have genital HSV2 and the test was a false negative.  I feel so terrible, guilty, depressed and upset. Please can anyone help/advise? 

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Kayer
    Kayer north60062

    Posted

    Swabs can be negative if the sore has already started to heal. When doing a culture you should immediately or soon as possible get the sore tested for herpes because it’s fresh and the virus would be easier to detect. For the guy you slept with he’ll have to get tested to be 100% sure. If he had lesions wait until a new one pops up and get that one tested before it starts to heal. If it comes back negative even when it was a fresh sore chances are he could of had an allergic reaction especially if he didn’t shower after having sex. Herpes is very tricky but just update what’s going on so I can see what I can tell you 

    • north60062
      north60062 Kayer

      Posted

      Thank you so much for replying to me Kayer.  I went to the clinic for swabs the same day the sores/ulcers appeared. Even the nurse said it looked like herpes and it definitely hadn’t healed over...it was shiny with fluid. She even said she thought she got a good sample! More appeared in the days after too. I’ve read somewhere else (afterwards) that if you go too early when they’ve just appeared then the swab maybe false negative because there’s not enough virus on it? Do you think that could be why? Likewise I knew if you left it too late and they scabbed over it might show up neg too which is why I went straight away.  I feel so upset having this anyway but even more upset and angry with myself for passing this on too because I naively believed the swabs. We used protection for intercourse but not foreplay. As it was my first ob I suspect I still had loads of the virus on me.  My fault I know.  If they’d explained it could possibly be a false neg at least I’d have known there’s still a chance I have it. The nurse even told me to stop taking my Aciclovir because it was negative.  It’s only through tonnes of research I’ve done myself aftwards that I’m now aware of the false negative facts.  How are you coping? Do you mind sharing your story?  Thank you again. It’s comforting to not feel so alone after finding this forum and people like yourself wanting to help and advise. Means a lot xxx
  • haz83342
    haz83342 north60062

    Posted

    Why not do blood test?

    When was your sex with the first guy when you got your sores?

    • north60062
      north60062 haz83342

      Posted

      They don’t do blood tests as standard in uk clinics for herpes and I think it will be too early to show up the anti-bodies anyway. 

      I had sex with my on/off ex on a thurs and by the Saturday started with cold /flu symptoms followed by itchiness and sores in the days after that. 

      I’d been with him 2 years and never had that before. 

      We split and stupidly around month later I slept with someone else (because my sores were better and was told my test was negative) and that new contact has now come out with symptoms. We used a condom but that didn’t cover where my sores had been.  He won’t talk to me so unsure if he’s got tested but I’m still feeling very guilty and upset that I’ve passed this on due to false results and my own naivety and lack of understanding about it  :-(

  • Kayer
    Kayer north60062

    Posted

    If it literally just came in seconds or hours negative could appear but, also do research on boils. I had 3 boils on my vagina labia and lord it hurt to even wear underwear.  Boils can be pus filled, clear fluid, or just raised and it’s caused my bacteria on the skin that gets in through cuts. So do some research on boils in genital area with a few pictures and compare. As for one of the commenters do not I repeat do not get a blood test! A culture is more accurate. I was diagnosed by blood because I had no out breaks and I was just wanting a std panel. It came back positive but when getting retested with another clinic (planned parenthood) they stated we don’t use blood as much because it has a 50% chance of a false positive. Especially if you have no symptoms which I didn’t. If you do decide to take a blood test ask them is it a antibodies test and if so test for 1 and 2 separate. I was told 90% of the population has herpes 1 which is the cause of canker sores on lips etc and that can interfere with results making you think u have genitals. Also my pcp who said I was positive told me the test( which she tested herpes 1&2 together) didn’t not accurately tell her what do I have. Meaning she assumed genital because when I was pregnant I had 3 boils on my vagina which like I said boils can be mistaken for herpe blisters. Honestly don’t even sweat it I was told 1 out of 5 people have it and as long as it’s not causing you to hurt when peeing etc you should be fine... may I ask are they clusters of the bumps? Or separate big looking blisters? Do it occupy with itching or burning ? In the spot it appears? Byw for the blood test I’m one of those cases who tested positive thinking I had the virus for years and a walk of shame to find out I never did and now I lost respect for doctors about herpes

    • north60062
      north60062 Kayer

      Posted

      Yes I’ve read that about blood tests. Plus I’m not sure where you live but in the uk they don’t provide them as standard. As you say it won’t be accurate yet anyway as I’ve only just had my first outbreak genitally so the bloods wont show up anti-bodies yet.  I’ve also had cold sores orally since a teenager so I know it will show up with HSV1 antibodies anyway due to that.  I can only assume I now have genital HSV2 as already having HSV1 orally gives you some degree of protection doesn’t it? 

      After research I know it’s not a boil...everything points to herpes. I had flu symptoms, sore throat, fever, then after  couple days of that developed an intense itching on my vagina which then after a couple more days presented with ulcer like sores. At first there were just a few in my labia (which were swabbed first day they came) and then over that week developed more around my vagina anus and buttocks. They were sore to touch too. I think because I started Aciclovir quite quickly they stopped it from becoming any more aggressive. 

      I’m sorry to hear you were wrongly diagnosed that must have been very upsetting for you.  I really appreciate your advice and support tho. Thank you. Xx

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