Help me :(

Posted , 3 users are following.

Why is this happening? Was with a bloke for 4 years treated me so badly horribly to point of mental abuse. Split again this morning n found out he's already out on the pull...why do I feel rubbish about this why is my belly so anxious? I should be happy I'm finally rid of that man. Please help me understand?

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  • Posted

    A lot of women get into abusive relatioships because it is so familiar from childhood and they don't think they are worth much. Would that be accurate in your case? The answer is to find out why you feel so badly about yourself and start getting healthier so you attract healthier men. You can build your confidence and become a stronger person but it will take some effort. Better to be alone than treated badly. When you are okay being alone then you may be closer to being ready for a good relationship. will be okay.

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    • Posted

      Yes your completely right my dad was not a nice man and my first relationship lasted 13 years with a violent man after tht managed two relationships with (I no now) were good men but I pushed them away n they ended within 3 months then I met the last one was with 4 years n fell in love straight away to another abusive man!

      How to I do Wat u said?

      Where do I start?

      I really need help with this. X

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  • Posted

    Hi Numb. A good place to start is to read some good books on the shame/ abuse cycle. You are attracted to abusive men because that is what you know. You will have to tolerate some discomfort in order to be in a healthy relationship. Your tendency is to push the healthy guys away but understand that will change as you grow. You must respect yourself first and not put up with verbal abuse, physical abuse or any form of disrespect like lying, cheating, stealing, secretiveness and selfishness. A good man will treat you well with respect. If he doesn't then leave. Don't try to change him or let him manipulate you but peacefully move on. There is hope. Don't give up! FInd mentors to help you make better choices.

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