Help me :(

Posted , 3 users are following.

Why is this happening? Was with a bloke for 4 years treated me so badly horribly to point of mental abuse. Split again this morning n found out he's already out on the pull...why do I feel rubbish about this why is my belly so anxious? I should be happy I'm finally rid of that man. Please help me understand?

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Posted

    A lot of women get into abusive relatioships because it is so familiar from childhood and they don't think they are worth much. Would that be accurate in your case? The answer is to find out why you feel so badly about yourself and start getting healthier so you attract healthier men. You can build your confidence and become a stronger person but it will take some effort. Better to be alone than treated badly. When you are okay being alone then you may be closer to being ready for a good relationship. Hugs..it will be okay.

    • Posted

      Yes your completely right my dad was not a nice man and my first relationship lasted 13 years with a violent man after tht managed two relationships with (I no now) were good men but I pushed them away n they ended within 3 months then I met the last one was with 4 years n fell in love straight away to another abusive man!

      How to I do Wat u said?

      Where do I start?

      I really need help with this. X

  • Posted

    It is because you have been mentally and possibly physically traumatised by your boyfriend's behaviour.

    • Posted

      psycho sexual counselling might be right for you. It looks at abuse relationships, sexuality and finding the right sexual partner.
  • Posted

    Run, run as fast as you can. You will have a life of misery.
  • Posted

    Hi Numb. A good place to start is to read some good books on the shame/ abuse cycle. You are attracted to abusive men because that is what you know. You will have to tolerate some discomfort in order to be in a healthy relationship. Your tendency is to push the healthy guys away but understand that will change as you grow. You must respect yourself first and not put up with verbal abuse, physical abuse or any form of disrespect like lying, cheating, stealing, secretiveness and selfishness. A good man will treat you well with respect. If he doesn't then leave. Don't try to change him or let him manipulate you but peacefully move on. There is hope. Don't give up! FInd mentors to help you make better choices.

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.