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Help me understand please be honest with your answers

Posted , 5 users are following.

sandy_so_sad
sandy_so_sad

Most of you know my story my partner left me saying his depressed

He says his coming back and then on that day says he needs more time he's exact words was I love you 110 percent and I will come back yet he hasn't phoned or come to visit no text to me neither his daughter..

My daughter text him saying dad if your not coming back tell mum and tell her to move on, but he has not replied to her.

The questions are, is he keeping me hanging on a piece of string like a puppet? Or is this how depression works? Should I be patient or tell him to do one ? He says he's staying with a mate untill his friends wife come back.

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • alex28917
    alex28917 sandy_so_sad

    Posted

    Personally, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt for a while and ask him to explain when he gets back. If he takes too long though without giving you any information or indications he's going to come back, then I'd attempt to get in contact with him and if i couldn't assume he isn't going to. I have no idea how long is too long though, maybe a month? I suppose you could judge that for yourself. 

    I doubt this will be of much use. This could be to do with his deppression or simply being caught up with helping his friend, but really it's difficult to be sure at this point. I hope this all works out for you x

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 sandy_so_sad

    Posted

    Hi again, Sandy. How long has this been going on now? Maybe it's time to inform him he cannot keep you hanging like this, that it is not fair on you or your daughter. Tell him you're moving on and that you would appreciate it if he would make arrangements re: visitations with his daughter. Start building your new future today. Be firm about it.

  • laurie82758
    laurie82758 sandy_so_sad

    Posted

    Speaking as a bloke, which is what I am, I suggest that you just give him an ultimatum. Be back by such time or boil your head.

    Where is he staying?  My instinct tells me that he has 'another life' and he's keeping you in reserve.

    Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but if you take the plunge and tell him to either turn up or ship out, the sooner you will get on with you and your Daughter's life.

    Hope it turns out well.

  • gill73026
    gill73026 sandy_so_sad

    Posted

    well I think that is all says , this guy is a no no, it is so devastating when this happens, but the chances are he will if  he returns keep repeating this hurtful rejection ( without explanation) so if he wants space from me at least he would RDYwell get it in no uncertain terms. Do you want to go on for years with this uncertainty. And no,I suffer from severe depression and its no excuse to neglect communication with someone who is supposed to matter, The least he could do is be in contact. He could be acutely depressed but that is between him and him, I should just think of him as having baled out and not your responsibility, because I dont think much if anything you can do no matter how risky he is will make him better either for himself or you. He needs medical care now. Get on with your life as you think you want to meantime.
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