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Help ... The " I have herpes " conversation with future partner!

Posted , 4 users are following.

jessb1738
jessb1738

One of the biggest fears I have is the conversation of disclosing to someone I have HSV2.

Ive recently started seeing someone who I have been friends with for a few years, he tells me he likes me a lot can see a future with me etc. It's all going so well but the constant thought in the back of my head is what if he rejects me? .... It's all fair and well saying if a guy rejects you he simply didn't deserve you or he wasn't the one.... That's all true but it still doesn't take away the pain or worry.

So today we was having a discussion about Charlie sheen apprantly having HIV .... And I said well to be honest I feel sad for him that's life threatening what he has! He then says yeah it's f****** .... F*** that! ... If you ever gave me anything there would be trouble ..... Are you clean?

I didn't know what to reply ( this was over txt) ... I slyly changed the subject and we spoke about something else.

I don't know how to feel, I know if this continues I need to tell him ... I've been on a emotional roller coaster since June when I was diagnosed and I'm starting to get the feelings back again .....

Does anyone have any advice? Or positive thoughts?

I would really appreciate it! ... Thank you ❤️

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus jessb1738

    Posted

    Ouch, that's a tough one with the Charlie Sheen reports and your guy friend's reaction. But I guess if you were getting close to something physical happening, and you feel the two of you could be serious, not just casual, you could use that as an ice breaker of sorts.

    Obviously, what we have is far less serious and that should be emphasised, plus the very low transmission risk and ways to minimise that even further. I wouldn't say anything too soon, however. Wait till the Charlie Sheen business has passed and when you feel the timing is right.

    Also, if I remember correctly, you are not sure which type you have, so I would mention that, too, or better yet, re-test by IgG to confirm the type. If Type 1, as it could well be, it's much to explain and handle, imo, both from a physical and disclosure perspective.

    • jessb1738
      jessb1738 FelizCastus

      Posted

      We are not yet getting close for anything sexually to happen but I just feel like I'm keeping something from him even though he doesn't need to know yet if you know what I mean ... I feel secretive carrying on seeing him and us both getting more feelings and I guess it would hurt more for him to reject me further down the line telling him ... Hm I don't know smh

      Yea I'm not sure it its 1 or 2 but I haven't had any sores to be swabbed so not sure how I could get tested again to find out? ... I also think it's crazy whenever you get a normal STI check up which I did, it came back all negative ... If I hadn't of had any sores I would have no idea! X

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus jessb1738

      Posted

      After 3-4 months from your first outbreak, you can do the IgG antibody blood test for both types. You don't need symptoms to do the test. That will also buy you more time. If he says why didn't you tell me sooner, you can say because you weren't sure and had to wait to re-test, so didn't want to mention it prematurely without a proper diagnosis.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus

      Posted

      Much *easier* to explain and handle, I mean.
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