Help with acceptance

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi everyone newbie here.

ive had health anxiety about my heart for over two years now. It all started when I thought I had a heart attack after smoking a legal high (never done drugs before or after). I had pain down my left arm, a crushing pain In my chest, cold sweats, nearly fainted and my finger tips went blue. My wife called an ambulance who did an ECG in the house and said everything looked fine but took me in anyway because of my finger tips having gone blue.

in the hospital they did lots of other tests, ECGs blood tests and a chest X-ray. Everything was fine and I was discharged in the morning with no explanation. I continued having mild chest pains for 4 weeks and finally had enough so yet back to hospital. Again everything was fine so I was discharged again. I went to my GP who mentioned anxiety as a possible cause and she put me on propranolol. This didn't help and gave me heartburn which I then mistook the chest pains as another heart attack. After several months of suffering I eventually gave in and went onto anti depressants which I really didn't want to do as I was in denial that I had anxiety. My GP finally referred me to a cardiologist who did a further ECG and an echocardiogram. This all came back fine and the cardiologist said my heart was perfect and it was likely muscoskeletal pain.

i continued having daily chest pains and have tried everything from CBT to counselling to hypnotherapy, massages, chiropractor etc

I eventually started to feel better, still getting pains but not as anxious and I came off the tablets (fluoxetine) in February 2013.

Last December I started to notice palpitations and skipped beats which had never been an issue before and I would have known as I was checking my pulse all the time when I was really bad so I was referred to another cardiologist. He did an ECG, echo and 24hr holter monitor. Again everything came back fine except his report didn't even mention skipped beats. I rang up to ask but was told he had commented all he was going to by his secretary. This wasn't very helpful!

in despair I paid to see a private consultant cardiologist in April. He did another 24hr monitor and sent me for a treadmill stress echo. The monitor did show I was having about 2,500 extra beats (what feel like skipped beats) a day which was quite high but absolutely fine and he reassured me they are totally benign. The stress echo was perfect as well.

again I was felling much better after this until the last couple of weeks where I have been feeling really anxious again and getting chest pains. On Wednesday last week my pains were really tight in the middle of my chest and kept coming and going. They felt different to previously so again I went to hospital. They did all the tests again such as ECG, chest X-ray blood tests and a test for blood clots. Again everything perfect!

its so surreal typing this as I know if this was someone else telling this story to me, I would have no doubt at all that they were fine and this was just anxiety. Why can't I just accept this?

i have a lovely family with a new daughter and a great job that's stressful but I love and the thought of staying like this for the rest of my life is making me miserable.

i hate being on my own in case something happens as I want people around who can help. It's driving me mad!

sorry for the length of this post but wondered if anyone had come up with any techniques for acceptance as reassurance from all these qualified medical professionals just isn't sinking in!

take care

 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh no! I know exactly what you are going through, as I'm going through the same thing. I have no advise as to what you should do but just want to reassure you that I have the same problems and your not alone. 

    Hope you get better soon.

    Charlotte 

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  • Posted

    Im actualy going trough a something scary right now..my heart is beatting in my throat,that makes me breathe funny.gives me a feeling im gonna stop breathing..and then all that followed by a lovely panic attack..and like you i had all tests done and they all fine...but i dont trust doctors... Im sure we will get better and you will live like you lived before!!! wink
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  • Posted

    Yea I had same thing with pain in left part of chest and pain running down my arm .ekg, echo and stress test normal .doc said it was panic attack .This was 2 years ago and I still get it .It sux to feel anxious everyday .
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  • Posted

    Thanks for the replies everyone. It is reassuring to know you aren't alone and in my mind I always think the doctors can't have screwed up with all of us so maybe it is anxiety! It's just such a strong feeling something is wrong in the instant the pain hits, it undoes all of the hard work accepting you are fine. Guess it's just how we are wired!
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  • Posted

    look at the facts of your blog and accept the avenues that have been explored as done and dusted. Try not to look for answers that are not there as it will only raise your anxiety again.  don't give up on yourself as a lost cause because you are trying to help yourself.  Keep going

    Richard

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