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Hi. I am a sixteen year old male who has suffered with minor anxiety such as phobias of elevators until recently, about a month ago, when I experienced a panic attack for the first time. This event started my time with severe anxiety, progressing into depression and later insomnia.
After I experienced the panic attack, and then some more that following weekend, I began believing that something was seriously wrong with me. This sent me into a small period where I wouldn't eat because of my fear of going insane and loosing touch with reality. Besides this fear I had numerous others such as fears of harming myself, fears of harming others, ending up in a mental hospital, doing things I would never want to do and becoming so mentally unstable that I would not be able to lead a normal functioning life(I had OCD at a higher level as a younger child than I currently do now, and I know that OCD takes play in my intrusive thoughts).
After I opened up to my mother about these fears, she took me to a psychologist who prescribed Citalopram(SSRI). I've taken this pill for 8 days and have saw a change in my sleeping habits. I know that the antidepressant will take about 4-6 or 6-8 weeks to fully work, but I need help with ways to calm my anxiety/depression and the crazy thoughts I have.
Today my anxiety brought back the same fear of self harm and I began thinking of it so much I started questioning if I were suicidal and then later began believing I was. This was such a scary feeling that I cannot describe it. The only way I managed to calm myself was by looking online and kind of relating with what other people said about these thoughts. I managed to get out of that thinking pattern, but found myself worrying that I will start to think and feel that same way.
My anxiety makes me scared, thinking my mind has more control over me, and that I will loose control and end up doing things I don't want such as harming myself or others. My anxiety also tends to make me think of anxious/depressing feelings and thoughts when I'm feeling tranquil and not worrying.
Can anybody list ways to help deal with these anxious thoughts and help me understand that I won't actually do things such as self harm? I need to learn positive thinking and stop thinking of my fears. Thanks so much for the help!!!!
P.s. If there are any good shows or books to help with how I am feeling, please let me know. Again THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!
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