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I've been feeling low this week and was fed up with this feeling so yesterday I started drinking alcohol secretly (once in a blue moon I turn to alcohol when I'm really fed up!) had a really bad night sleep last night and now I've just got out of bed and my anxiety is so bad with bad heart palpitations I've poured myself a drink of sherry and lemonade to settle my nerves, I feel really low and so anxious ( I've had GAD for 10 years and I'm on citalopram and I know I'm not allowed to drink on them, I've been on them for 6 years) I feel so guilty feeling like this my 5 year old is with me playing with his toys (I never ever neglect my little boy and it put on a front that I'm happy as it was neglected and put in care) my husband is at work he is supportive with my anxiety and depression and my sister is coming round soon when it get like this she helps out cos she suffers the same! But drinking at the moment makes me feel normal and gets rid of some anxiety and makes me feel relaxed I know this isn't the answer! I'm normally active and eat super healthy but haven't been eating properly lately (had a banana yesterday and a dry cracker) can it just say this happens once in a blue moon when I get so fed up of being me (I've had depersonalisation for 11 years which is hate but I deal with it and cope with it!) I just need to get out of this rut the anxiety is unbearable!
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