Herpes simplex virus and sex

Posted , 4 users are following.

I have found out in the last month that I have the herpes virus, I have been with the same man for the last three years. we are in a sort of open relationship and as such he sees other women. Due to this fact and neither of us wanting to get him infected too, we have been abstaining from sex with each other. I just want to know if anyone has any ideas of how we can still have that connection sexually without actually having sex, or if anyone has any good ideas as to how we can completely protect ourselves in the process(not sure that's possible of course). We both love each other but sex is still a very important component of our relationship and as such any suggestions would be welcomed.

Thank you.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    you have it genitailly? he may already have it or be the one who gave it you or someone else. its hard to know because it can lay dormant. first thing i would have him donis get a blood test to see if he has it too. did you have a breakout?

    • Posted

      I have the oral virus but I got sores on my genital area. I'm not sure he wants to take a test as we have already it and he hasn't taken one.

    • Posted

      Getting tested would be the responsible thing for him to do as he may be passing it on to other people if he has it. The implications can be quite serious for a woman when she's having a baby. They don't test for it in pregnancy either, even though they should. If you have it, he really needs to be tested for the sake of the women he may be infecting if he also has the virus.

  • Posted

    First thing he needs to do is have himself tested. He may already have it, or could have been the one to pass it on to you. I was told there's no way of knowing. I found out they don't test for herpes in an std test unless you're having symptoms, which I find ridiculous considering how common and contagious it is. I was with my partner for 6 years before I found out I had it. He gave it to me, he was misdiagnosed years before he met me and didn't know. Even then, I probably would have got it anyway. There's nothing that will protect you 100%. You can pass it on even when you're not having an outbreak. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I have it and I was diagnosed almost a year ago.

    Be as careful as you can be but nothing will guarantee that he won't be infected.

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