Hey everyone, my names Natasha. I've be dealing with anxiety the last 11 weeks, what a nightmare!!

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This isn't the first time this has happened. It happened to me about 7 years ago and lasted about two weeks. Then my dad died so it took my focus away and it went by itself without any medication. This time has been different, I had two cups of strong coffee and no breakfast. I don't normally drink coffee. Anyways I'm pretty sure it was the coffee that sent me into a 4 week spiral out of control.... I thought I was dying having a heart attack a stroke I thought I was going to pass out or die. I went to have a shower because I was in my pyjamas and couldn't bare the thought of dying all smelly .... Then I had a massive panic attack in the shower. I got out got some clothes on and left to go next door I didn't want to die infront of my kids... My neighbour helped me calm down a bit but I called my friend to take me to the hospital... I got checked out and told I was fine... I wasn't fine when I got home I could barely move my whole body frozen with the torture of my heart beating so hard and fast adrenalin pumping through me 24/7 I couldn't eat and went 9 days with almost no sleep ... I went to the hospital again after the 9 days and begged them to help .... Thinking I was surely dying!! The doctor gave me a sleeping pill and admitted me in. After that night sleep I woke up feeling even worse!! I was so scared and frozen with fear!! After the second night I just came home the doctor prescribed me some antidepressants.... I'm so sacred of taking medication but tried it once I got home ... I went to bed to wake up with my whole chest and arms on fire!! So tried to deal with it but went back to the hospital they sad oh they won't work for you try different ones ... There's no way I'm going to try any others!! Anyways over the last 6 weeks I have been seeing a psychologist she is great ... I can never see her enough tho. I have forced myself to eat breakfast lunch and dinner I excersise by swimming in the pool everyday I drink chamomile tea and have forced myself to go back to work. I have been prescribed murelax witch is a Benzo. I'm prescribed 30mg 3 times a day I try very hard not to take them.... But if I'm having a really bad day I'll take half of one witch is 15mg. Most of my symptoms have subsided except the feeling that I can't feel happy or excited .... And the dizziness that is the worst! Whenever I'm around too many people or at a shopping centre I feel so dizzy and out of it! Is this a part of anxiety? Who else gets the dizziness? I feel alone like no one understands what I'm going through. I would really like to be able to talk to someone who knows what this feels like. Will this ever end?? When will I be back to myself. Why has this happened to me? How can I be strong ? 

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    I'm sorry about my rambling .... It doesn't make much sense? 
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  • Posted

    all i can say is welcome to the world of depression and yes get well soon

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Tasha.

    I have been experiencing the same thing as you for many weeks, possibly months.

    I have accepted the need to take medication which I had not wanted to do.

    I am so sorry to hear of your distress it is so scary I know and you are not alone.

    I too am hoping to get back to my normal self and am awaiting a response from the mental health team. 

    You are doing all of the right things.

     

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  • Posted

    Hi 

    welcome to mental health however consider your problems same as a broken limb, so take the meds as prescribed these are to balance you out (similar) to plaster on limb.

    then work with counsellors (same as crutches or arm armsling: only finding  the cause )and then with psych department to wean down as appropriate .

    The brain gets sick the same as any organ if this was your heart /kidneys you would take meds. 

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    • Posted

      But why is this happene to me .... I just don't understand.... My life is pretty good .... My past is bad but the present is great! This is what I don't understand 
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    • Posted

      Sadly whilst we know why we break bones or hearts fail the brain is still a mystery 

      don't try to self analyse you will make yourself ill 

      talk to counsellors openly listen to their analogies work out with their help the trigger the response the action the solution 

      meanwhile don't spend hours researching it will just encourage a d blur the edges and present a real mess to unravel 

      you have limited time with nhs counsellors so use them wisely 

      they will help you find why 

      Have a good new year 

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  • Posted

    Tasha .... These are nothing else but anxiety attacks. Many past events in your life which you even don't remember or consider as not affecting you slowly and slowly lead to anxiety problem. This is a case of health anxiety or hypochondria. I would suggest you to read about health anxiety/hypochondria and you will understand how many small things could have led you to this stage and that this can happen to anybody not specifically to you. There are many of us who face same problem. You can follow the discussion named "health anxiety" on this forum where you will find a no. Of other people suffering from health anxiety and fear of heart attack as you do. Talking to them will help you a lot. Once you embrace the truth that this is just anxiety and nothing else, you will get over it slowly. All the best.
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  • Posted

    Hi tashi,I feel your pain..I've had panic attacks and agrophobia for 20 years...I was on aropax which are antidepressants for 16 years...they helped a little bit with the anxiety_ depression but after 16 years they stopped working.. I was getting hyptic jerks real bad and couldn't sleep...anyway coming of them was pure hell,I've never been so ill in my life...I also have murelax,I call it my miracle pill..if it wasn't for them I honestly don't think I could survive...I only take half a tablet when needed,sometimes I might have to take the other half later on...everything your experiencing I've also experienced.. Have you heard of Barry Mcdough? He is a survivor and has got some books out that are worth reading... Im here if you need to talk...hang in there. Regards christina
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