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This isn't the first time this has happened. It happened to me about 7 years ago and lasted about two weeks. Then my dad died so it took my focus away and it went by itself without any medication. This time has been different, I had two cups of strong coffee and no breakfast. I don't normally drink coffee. Anyways I'm pretty sure it was the coffee that sent me into a 4 week spiral out of control.... I thought I was dying having a heart attack a stroke I thought I was going to pass out or die. I went to have a shower because I was in my pyjamas and couldn't bare the thought of dying all smelly .... Then I had a massive panic attack in the shower. I got out got some clothes on and left to go next door I didn't want to die infront of my kids... My neighbour helped me calm down a bit but I called my friend to take me to the hospital... I got checked out and told I was fine... I wasn't fine when I got home I could barely move my whole body frozen with the torture of my heart beating so hard and fast adrenalin pumping through me 24/7 I couldn't eat and went 9 days with almost no sleep ... I went to the hospital again after the 9 days and begged them to help .... Thinking I was surely dying!! The doctor gave me a sleeping pill and admitted me in. After that night sleep I woke up feeling even worse!! I was so scared and frozen with fear!! After the second night I just came home the doctor prescribed me some antidepressants.... I'm so sacred of taking medication but tried it once I got home ... I went to bed to wake up with my whole chest and arms on fire!! So tried to deal with it but went back to the hospital they sad oh they won't work for you try different ones ... There's no way I'm going to try any others!! Anyways over the last 6 weeks I have been seeing a psychologist she is great ... I can never see her enough tho. I have forced myself to eat breakfast lunch and dinner I excersise by swimming in the pool everyday I drink chamomile tea and have forced myself to go back to work. I have been prescribed murelax witch is a Benzo. I'm prescribed 30mg 3 times a day I try very hard not to take them.... But if I'm having a really bad day I'll take half of one witch is 15mg. Most of my symptoms have subsided except the feeling that I can't feel happy or excited .... And the dizziness that is the worst! Whenever I'm around too many people or at a shopping centre I feel so dizzy and out of it! Is this a part of anxiety? Who else gets the dizziness? I feel alone like no one understands what I'm going through. I would really like to be able to talk to someone who knows what this feels like. Will this ever end?? When will I be back to myself. Why has this happened to me? How can I be strong ?
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