Holiday Hell!

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi Everyone, my first time here, and even that is making me anxious.

I have suffered from severe anxiety now, for almost two years.  I did seek help, last year, and received therapy in the form of CBT.  It helped, no end, but when my follow up was due in January this year, and I was advised follow ups had been cut, I have now, had to re-refer myself.

I am anxious all the time, and even more so with what happened recently.  My partner and I discussed having a holiday, in the UK this year.  I love the countryside and the peace and quiet would have been a great tonic for me.  Despite knowing how I am, with the anxiety, which has been exacerbated by the terror threats, and events going on in Paris and Brussels, and with my flear of flying having returned, my partner, to quote "did something stupid", and booked a trip abroad at the end of April!  This has led to my anxiety spiralling out of control.  I am constantly upset, as feel hurt that he booked a trip abroad, even though I take into account his heart may be in the right place.  I am too terrified to go, will be on a "knife edge" the whole time if I can, and it is just awful.  What has made the whole situation worse, is that he is adamant he is going whether I go or not!  I am now in a situation where I am scared to go out, to drive, go into a supermarket, and am constantly lookking at threats to the UK and elsewhere.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this, so any kind advice from hereon would be so very much appreciated.

Thanks. 

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  • Posted

    I'm so sorry about your anxiety and it must be horrible to feel that way on a constant basis.  You wanted respite in the countryside and now have to face this plane trip.  I would talk with your partner again and tell him your feelings - but if he said he would go anyway then I don't know if he has your best interests at heart.

    You DO what is right for YOU even it that means not going with him.  Take care.

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    • Posted

      Hi Louiselost

      I just wanted to say "thank you" so much, for taking the trouble to reply.  I have to agree with you.  I will talk to him, again, and see what happens from there.

      Thanks, again.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sorry you having a rought time.

    You have to do what is best for you and try and get your partner to understand how terrifing this is for you.

    I know that there are some charities for example MIND who do reduced charged therapy sessions that may help as I know the NHS is useless

    Take Care

    Stay Strongbiggrin

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    • Posted

      Hi lynne82155

      Many thanks for taking the trouble to reply.  This is work in progress, at the moment.

      I will try and stay strong, thank you so much.

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  • Posted

    Your partner won't understand what's going on with you ! How can he if he has never suffered from it. You need to have a chilled heart to heart. You need his support hunny. May be show his a few screen shot posts so he can see this isn't just you and it's s real illness that can be coped with but needs support from our loved ones. My partner would never force me or go without me ! He just needs help to understand. It's hard for our partners. He may think he is helping you by getting you to face your fears. I had to cancel a holiday once I just couldn't go ! It was making me worse the nearer it got. Feel for you as I know exactly what it's like. X
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    • Posted

      Hi gill16647

      Thank you so much for taking the time to respond.  I have taken everything you have said "on board" and will try and speak to him again.  It has helped to know you have been in a similar situation, regarding the holiday, and thank you for sharing that with me. x 

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  • Posted

    Hey there, welcome to the forum!

    Do you have a therapist or a counsellor or someone who can help?

    Are you on medication?

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    • Posted

      Hi, I have had anxiety and panic attacks for 10 years I have had cbt 3 times and talking counselling once, these worked for me in the short term ( please don't be put off, that's just me), I also get terrified of flying, terrorists, anything really, getting too hot in the sun, lifts trains, you name it my head will let me be afraid of it, I do get on a plane but not without the tears, the I'm not going ,the frozen fear, and then when I'm there I spend all the time frozen in the room waiting for something bad to happen and then when it don't ,on the way home I spend all my time beating myself up coz my head has one again, funny enough not worrying about the plane so much coz I'm so angry at myself, so just lately I have had enough (finally), I'm trying to now go with idea " ok come get me and do your worst", sounds mad I know but for the most it's working, plus I have been looking into " addicted to overthinking" . Which is completely me . I have never took any medication and people say o you should it will make you feel better but it won't I know myself and it's not for me but works amazing for most , if you can try the holiday u would definitely not be the only one in that que on that plane ect that is feeling like that . From my personal experience running away from life feeds the fear ( easier said than done), I never left my house for a year, it's just so annoying putting your life on hold just incase something happens, but to us it's very real,sorry for rambling on lol, good luck xx
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    • Posted

      I'm 43 now , no about 9 years ago I couldn't leave my house, so I definitely have made progress because I work full time now, I can go shop alone and get in a lift , only one floor though lol, my hubby showed me this guy on the internet that talks about being addicted to over thinking and I was like " o my god that's me" it's really interesting, I know it's really hard believe me but keep turning I can't into I can and but what if into so what, and you are definitely not alone my counselor used to take me shopping and get me to stay in there while I was having a panic attack , people must of thought I was nuts lol but it worked x
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    • Posted

      That's r exactly how I did it, I would go shopping with someone but wait in car but I would put trolley back then I would go in for as long as I can then come out then go back in, all the time thinking I'm mental ha ha, like this morning I went swimming, I stayed as long as I felt comfortable, went to the changing room and then bam, I felt funny and hot , but I just cope now, ok I'm hot, so what,put some cold water on your wrists, I know it's not great to live my life like this but if I keep turning what ifs into so what's ( councellers advice), I'm hoping it just comes naturally! That's the plan anyway
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    • Posted

      Hi and thanks for the welcome.

      Last year, I was receiving CBT, which seemed to be helping.  I was due a follow up in January, after a few months, however, due to service cuts, this was no longer available.  I had to re-refer myself back and am awaiting an appointment. 

      I am not on any medication for the anxiety.  I have been on Paroxetine in the past, however, did not find it of any help.

      I was being able to "manage" or "cope", following the CBT, however, it has been a gradual build up of so many problems, then the holiday was the final straw!  Now, once again, everything seems to be making me worried, panicking, and anxious.

       

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    • Posted

      Hi.  Thanks for sharing, regarding the anxiety you experience, like me, with what seems like everything.  I, too, over think things, constantly, and with everything - even the weather. 

      It is a horrible situation and does stop me being able to do the things I want to do, ie a holiday, but even out and about, in a supermarket, has me panicking!

      I really don't feel I will be able to go on this break.  The fear of flying was and now is, bad enough, but it is now everything else, I don't feel safe at all. Every day, now, with the build up to the end of the month, as the holiday date looms, I am in tears!   If my partner does go on his own, I will be worrying myself silly about him, so this really is an awful situation.

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