Holiday troubles again

Posted , 3 users are following.

If anyone read my past discussions you'll know I'm away travelling with a friend for 3 weeks. It's been mostly fine I've had a few down moments but been able to cover them up easily. Last night we had a int argument and I got a bit grumpy but knew it wasn't a big deal what we were arguing about, then suddenly a wave of depression hit me and I couldn't stop crying, did it in the bathroom kind of slyly but I'm sure she heard, hardly slept and feel 10 times worse today. We were meant to go out this morning and I just can't cover up feeling like this anymore I'm now in the hotel room alone crying my eyes out and she's down in the pool, think she guessed I needed space but I dont know what I need. I want to apologise and explain myself but it's too hard I can't do it and I feel so guilty for ruining the holiday and probably making her feel like it's her fault. I didn't realise how much my depression had come back and now I'm terrified as I have 2 months left - a month and 3 weeks of that is alone (well volunteering so with others but no one I know) I just want to give up and go home. What am I supposed to do now? I feel in the biggest mess, and the biggest idiot for feeling so down when I'm in amazing places with my best friend.

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    The depression is an illness. Can you try to explain. You would if you had a broken leg, they would see it and understand.

    Depression is a cloud on your life.

    Can you not tell your friend that you partly feel homesick, she will understand then no one loses face or friendship.

    Take each day at a time, relax, keep your mind occupied with all the fun you have been having.

    At the worst you could go hone but you all miss all the things you want to do.

    That would be sad, positiveness destroys depression. Go for it xx

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  • Posted

    We all feel sad when we argue, make it up. Xx
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  • Posted

    Hello Rebecca.

    Why don't you go and speak to your friends. Explain everything. Tell her about your depression and your fears. The word "friend" says it all. If she is truly a friend she will understand and she will empathise and stand by your side.

    Tell her you are not making excuses for yourself and you want her to act exactly the same around you but you just wanted to make her aware that there are things going on for you right now that make you feel scared and that you are trying to fix.

    I think it must be taking a amazing amount if energy trying to hide this and act normal on days when your not feeling to great. Maybe you will find relief if you open up to her.

    Try to let any arguments go..sometimes as adults we can't agree but rather than each of you forcing what you believe is "right" on each other..Just say "let's not do this,we obviously both have different opinions on this and it wouldn't be fair for either of us to try and force our opinion on each other,let's agree to disagree"!!!

    Why don't you do a little meditation. Relax yourself. Then open your eyes and say to yourself  " ok,from this moment,today is going to be a good day",don't think no more about it,just stand up and get in with your day xx

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    • Posted

      Thank Gillian this is really great advice, you make a lot of sense. I've also been feeling like coming home at the same time as my friend (I'm booked to go onto another country for a month of volunteering then another for 3 weeks just travelling) and I get moments that I just want to pack it in and go home.. But I know I'll regret it and will love the places when I'm there, sometimes it's just so tiring especially with depression. It's just hard to know how to deal with depression while travelling, I really wasn't expecting it to crop up like this I thought it was gone and while I know talking about it is the best help, I don't want to have to tell people I just meet (eg when volunteering) so how I can deal with it 'alone' if you understand any of that? Sorry! I'm sort of worrying a lot as I have 2 months to go until home and familiarity where I can get more help
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    • Posted

      There is no shame in wanting to be where you feel safe. Everybody is the same. Depression or no depression,it's a normal thing to want to be around the people who love you when you are feeling vulnerable.

      You are a young girl and have your whole life in front of you. If you feel like you are not strong enough to do the rest of the holiday alone,then don't, the choice is yours,that's what you must remember. what you choose to do is in your control.

      Going home will not make you a failure or fill you with regret..it will fill you with relief that you made the right choice for you at this point in your life.

      In time,you will have the strength to fulfil all your dreams and you won't think twice about it..I promise you that.

      If on the other hand you want to test yourself and see how well you cope with the remainder of the trip..then that's fine too..You have that choice and that is also in your control. You can give it a go and if your not ok,you can go home.

      All you have to remember sweetheart is that you don't have to confuse yourself making decisions. It's all in your control. You get to choose xx

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    • Posted

      There is no shame in wanting to be where you feel safe. Everybody is the same. Depression or no depression,it's a normal thing to want to be around the people who love you when you are feeling vulnerable.

      You are a young girl and have your whole life in front of you. If you feel like you are not strong enough to do the rest of the holiday alone,then don't, the choice is yours,that's what you must remember. what you choose to do is in your control.

      Going home will not make you a failure or fill you with regret..it will fill you with relief that you made the right choice for you at this point in your life.

      In time,you will have the strength to fulfil all your dreams and you won't think twice about it..I promise you that.

      If on the other hand you want to test yourself and see how well you cope with the remainder of the trip..then that's fine too..You have that choice and that is also in your control. You can give it a go and if your not ok,you can go home.

      All you have to remember sweetheart is that you don't have to confuse yourself making decisions. It's all in your control. You get to choose xx

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  • Posted

    I went on holiday and became ill and it wasn't fun so I know where you are coming from. Give the volunteering a try and if you feel the same way as with your friend, come home early.  But have a go first or you will kick yourself.

    Richard

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