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If anyone read my past discussions you'll know I'm away travelling with a friend for 3 weeks. It's been mostly fine I've had a few down moments but been able to cover them up easily. Last night we had a int argument and I got a bit grumpy but knew it wasn't a big deal what we were arguing about, then suddenly a wave of depression hit me and I couldn't stop crying, did it in the bathroom kind of slyly but I'm sure she heard, hardly slept and feel 10 times worse today. We were meant to go out this morning and I just can't cover up feeling like this anymore I'm now in the hotel room alone crying my eyes out and she's down in the pool, think she guessed I needed space but I dont know what I need. I want to apologise and explain myself but it's too hard I can't do it and I feel so guilty for ruining the holiday and probably making her feel like it's her fault. I didn't realise how much my depression had come back and now I'm terrified as I have 2 months left - a month and 3 weeks of that is alone (well volunteering so with others but no one I know) I just want to give up and go home. What am I supposed to do now? I feel in the biggest mess, and the biggest idiot for feeling so down when I'm in amazing places with my best friend.
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