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Have suffered from depression off and on throughout my life - after children and when my hormones were in a mess. In 2013 two things happened - my husband started working away (after 23 years of being together) and my last child went away to University. Im ashamed to say that I didnt cope well - and even though it took the course of a year to establish - deep depression resulted. My husband didnt finish his secondment until end of July last year and even though my son was back by then - I was extremely depressed, suicidal even. I lost my mum also back in 2010 and wasnt allowed to grieve having to look after my father, so it all came crashing down.
Having terrible thoughts, I sought out some counselling and that was a turning point. Also started taking citalpralm. The counselling on its own probably wouldnt have been enough - but it did make a difference, made me realise that I wasnt alone and people did care and I did have a reason to carry on.
8 months on and my life has completely turned around. Have passed my driving test at the tender age of 48, and have a car as well. I have made peace with the turbulent relationship I had with my deceased mother and still living father.
My husband was terrified of losing me and didnt realise how I low I had become. My children now realise that mum sometimes needs more love and reach out far more.
Now dont get me wrong I still have my bad days - but I no longer think about walking into the sea for good or going to sleep never to wake, well not very often! Sometimes I would like to just walk sideways and get away from the worries and hassles of life - but I just look into my husbands face and realise that this life is worth living.
Just wanted to post here and tell people that depression doesnt last forever and if you are proactive in seeking help - albeit chemical or human - it does work and will bring you out the other side. Dont suffer in silence - the pain will end if you get some help.
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