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Having read posts by other Fluoxetine takers it is somewhat reassuring to hear how other people are having similar feelings and thoughts to me......at first I felt like I was alone in all this but just reading a post that describes my actions is a real comfort
I have been suffering from depression for around 20 weeks and been taking Fluoxetine for the last 9-10 weeks. At first I had side effects that I could handle: no appetite, dodgy stomach and inability to sleep. I lost almost 2 stones in weight as a consequence of the stress caused by depression and have since gained some back.
However, I learnt the hard way that it is a terrible idea to drink alcohol while taking these tablets. I awoke the next day having missed my tablet and had the hangover from hell……this is when the first suicidal and harming thoughts came into my head. It was as though my brain was looking for a way to escape the pain. I locked myself in my bedroom so as to prevent myself from doing anything I may regret or harming those I love. That was around the 27th of December 2008, I have not touched alcohol (nor will I again) until I feel the time is right and I can handle the outcome.
The main problem that I have noticed is that no two days are the same, one day I will wake up on a high and bounce around the office like im on ecstasy, the next day I might sit at my desk with my iPod on and not talk to a soul through fear of what they might say or ask me to do. Suicidal thoughts have entered my head on several occasions (at home and at work), somehow I have managed to push them from my mind so as to not give in to them and do something drastic.
I have avoided public places, feared public transport and switched from a happy-go-lucky socialite to a recluse who rarely sees his friends and avoids family frequently.
I now realise that this is somewhat normal and as hard as that is to accept, I simply do.
I tried on so many occasions to explain it to my fiancée how I thought and felt but it seemed to go straight over her head and she stared blankly at me. Certain family members have simply responded with \"oh snap out of it, there are people far worse off than you in the world\"....this has only made me worse.
My fiancée has since been researching more and found a website that helps her to understand me better and therefore help me get through this positively. For those of you who haven't seen it, its depression.com
The main point I wish to emphasise is that as hard as this is to deal with, I feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel. With counselling and support from close friends and family, I will get through this and make life worth living once more – I hope other sufferers feel the same.
But now I feel so much better that there are wonderful people such as yourselves out there willing to share their feelings with me and hope this continues so that we all get to see the same result – happiness and peace with ourselves.
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