Housebound with anxiety

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Somebody help me please, I have anxiety every day ,so bad I cant do the shopping, or walk out on my own, because of a constant lightheadedness,I am afraid to take medication, because most of them,list increase anxiety, and lightheadedness as a side effect, I cant take anything,, thats going to make me worse..I take xanax, o.5  three times daily, but even these are not helping much,as I have been on them nearly 20 years...my GP is useless and has no understanding of my suffering,my phyic ,just wants me on meds,writes out a prescription, and tells me to come back in 3 months..knowing full well I am afraid to take them..I did CBT ,it helped me to learn some things to cope, but my life is pure hell.I am sitting at home alone crying,as my Hubby works at night, he is helpfull, he does the shopping, and cooking,but he has no idea how unhappy I feel..or what a panic attack feels like.Does anyone know of a natural remedy I  can take, that will work..before I loose my mind altogether, my blood tests are normal, apart from high cholestrol, its 6,7 .the lightheadness is very scary, and usually leads to a panic attack..my hubby has booked a holiday for October, thinking it will do me good, I havan.t a clue how I.m going to go,and I dont want to disappoint him either..can anyone offer any advice please..as I am desperate...tnx in advance..xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Mariano, I really cant give much advice, but just to say your not alone, I suffer from anxiety also, and yes the lightheadiness is just one of the numerous symptoms of the illness. Perhaps alternative medicines could help, I was thinking of trying hypnotherapy, got to be worth a try, I have also bought a relaxation cd and a book on anxiety.

    Maybe you could consider changing your doctor, as it doesnt sound as if the one you are with is very understanding of how awful anxiety is. I do hope you can find the strength to go on the holiday, but you do need to make your husband aware how hard it will be for you, and that you will need his support. One day at a time, dont try to do too much, and you never know you may enjoy it.

    sorry this isnt more helpful, but I hope at least you find some comfort knowing you are not alone x

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  • Posted

    Can you walk into your yard? Do you have a yard? And just sit there and take it in? Fresh air, sunshine the birds..etc..you probably need to change your medicines. I would be more scared to be caged into my home surrendering all the joys of life then taking a pill that could at least give me a bit if freedom from these terrible sabatoging,brainwashing ,intrusive thoughts day after day. Your husband is well aware of how you feel what can he do to fix it? He seems to be quite kind about it. Theres no magic fix. Its terrible and it sucks you have to allow help. You can not refuse any meds other then the one that no longer works. You need help. You know im not a big medicine fan but there are times you have no other option. You cant stay like this! Anxiety rules will change uo, already they have caged you in..you need to allow the help now. You going to the  gp is useless if you don't listen to him. Thats not on him by the way. Thats what gp job  is. Access and treat. You need to get a psychiatrist and some therapt, whether you do it on line, on the phone you need this. Let then assess you and treat you. Then maybe by october you will be able to leave your home.your fears and your belief in your fear have failed you, stop believing them. Look where your fears have got you! They are evil liars okay. You need meds and you need to accept the help. 

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    • Posted

      I have posted this one time before in this forum where i felt it was useful. I want you to just read this little story as i feel this post is needed again........A man was trapped in his house during a flood. He began praying to God to rescue him. He had a vision in his head of God’s hand reaching down from heaven and lifting him to safety. The water started to rise in his house. His neighbour urged him to leave and offered him a ride to safety. The man yelled back, “I am waiting for God to save me.” The neighbour drove off in his pick-up truck.

      [Flood]

      The man continued to pray and hold on to his vision. As the water began rising in his house, he had to climb up to the roof. A boat came by with some people heading for safe ground. They yelled at the man to grab a rope they were ready to throw and take him to safety. He told them that he was waiting for God to save him. They shook their heads and moved on.

      The man continued to pray, believing with all his heart that he would be saved by God. The flood waters continued to rise. A helicopter flew by and a voice came over a loudspeaker offering to lower a ladder and take him off the roof. The man waved the helicopter away, shouting back that he was waiting for God to save him. The helicopter left. The flooding water came over the roof and caught him up and swept him away. He drowned.

      When he reached heaven and asked, “God, why did you not save me? I believed in you with all my heart. Why did you let me drown?” God replied, “I sent you a pick-up truck, a boat and a helicopter and you refused all of them. What else could I possibly do for you?”

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    • Posted

      Hi lisalisa67, That story you have just written is amazing...and I get the motto of it..yes, I have prayed for help too, and mayby thats gods way of helping me.. to get my gp to give me meds...I need the courage now to take them. thats my biggest fear, over the years I had tried many meds, got very bad reactions to most of them, and one I took landed me in bed for 3 days.seeing things on my ceiling, mayby you can understand my fear of taking them more now..I have to overcome this fear, and its not easy..I know what your saying, and I know your right...theres help for me if I take it...yes I have a garden that I sit out in most days, watching the birds feeding,looking up at the clouds,and the trees, and really enjoying the beauty of it all...thank you for your reply,I have lost my motivation to get up and fight this thing, guess i'm just tired of it all. I have a long way to go, but hopefully i can take small steps, and get on top of this again..xxxx

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    • Posted

      If you call around some therapist  do specialize in agoraphobia can actively help you desentize. They come to you. All private im sure but am sure in the usa anyway have ones covered insurance.Maybe even try hypnosis to get your mind or body to react differently worth a try right?  I realize its extremly difficult and basically terrifying to break this and theres nothing wrong with baby steps. I understand meds can stink, i believe they have tests now that can determine which meds flow better with your genetics. I know they can test the cyp450 and a bunch of others. Maybe that can deter horrible side effects. I do wish you well.
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  • Posted

    I would try threrapy, or counseling of some kind, as soon as possible. A bit of help on the home front is pure from the flower, Cnamomile tea. It is a natural sedative and does many other good things for the body.

    If you are allergic to rag weed or that plant family, don't take. Many of swear by this stuff, Mariano. Hugs to you, dear.

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  • Posted

    Just take the meds! See how they work. Or have the dr up your dosage on the Xanax.
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  • Posted

    You are getting excellent advice here, Mariano. Only you can decide what you want to do with it. We can and will be your cheerleaders, but we can't take your place in the game. YaaaaY, mariano. You can do this. We are here for you...make sure YOU are here for you, darlin'. Hugs

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  • Posted

    You need to trade your GP for a neurologist.
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  • Posted

    hi I'm same old have very bad annsity and depression can't sleep can't go out my doir do all shopping online or lock myself away as I can't cope with kids bring get friends in I get up do my cleaning go bak bed my head away feel I'm goin end up with nervous break dwn I've go see Dla doctor on 3rs August and I really don't no how I'm goin cope with goin out to ur my hubby be with me I can't speak ppl I don't no wud anyone have advice cud give me to help

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    • Posted

      your just like me Karen, I am fighting this every day, all I can say is take baby steps, mayby 3 or 4 steps from your door,until your very comfortable with doing it...then keep increasing it further every few days,I have been told to do this, it dose help. believe me...but it can be very depressing..take care xxx
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  • Posted

    mariano, reading your post was like reading something i could have written myself, we are so similar and i am suffering in much the same way that you are at the moment, it is like living in hell and i am constantly distressed and exhausted.

    Now the Xanax, you are quite right, it wont be working now because you have been on it for so long, you will probably know that you cannot stop taking it suddenly but i thought i should mention that anyway.

    Unfortunately for some people meds like Xanax can cause higher levels of anxiety and worsening phobias after they have been on them for a number of years, I am pretty sure that my 17 years of being on Valium is a major factor in my current issues but I am just too scared to cut it down at the moment, it can be done though but if that is what you decide it needs to be done very slowly.

    Time after time I have been prescribed meds that I am simply too scared to take and it is simply pointless, I tell them this but they don't listen so where does that leave us? Well it means taking steps to face our fears and exploring different types of therapy which can be very useful.

    I have had CBT, it was quite helpful but the NHS would only fund 6 sessions and often you need it for longer so that it can be more effective and that you can maintain the progress you make, there are other therapies too, it's about finding one that works for you.

    Honestly the only thing that helps is facing the fears that you have and believe me I know how terrifying that is, 10 minutes ago I was locked in the bathroom sobbing because I know I have to go through the fear of waking up at the crack of dawn tomorrow in a panic state then I will need to force myself out of the door, allow my husband to drive me away from the house and hang onto him whilst I try to navigate a shop, park, etc panicking the entire time, it is hell but I do it because the last time I got this bad it was the only thing that helped me so I have to do it again.

    It takes time though, it doesn't improve straight away, it can take many,many attempts before you see even the slightest improvement but eventually you will, it might be just one minute of feeling a bit better and then you notice it gradually becomes a bit longer without a panic and that carries on until your confidence builds.

    You have to retrain your brain, I know how hard that is but it can be done, you go slowly but you go willingly, accept the feelings you have, all of them and tell yourself that as horrid as they are they cannot harm you, they can scare you but no more than that.

    Panic and fear thrive on our dislike of them, the more we hate them the worse those feelings get, now that doesn't mean you are expected to enjoy them of course, you couldn't possibly do that but you can accept them until you get to the stage where you acknowledge all of the awful feelings but carry on anyway and that in itself proves to your own mind that there is nothing to fear, once you stop being quite so scared of them you will find they lessen but as I said that takes time.

    Don't think you can't do it though, just accept that it is small steps and it takes time.

    Start out small, I feel scared even opening the front door these days so sometimes I just go to the door and do it, then I take a step out, the panic comes but I stay there as long as I possibly can.

    I am going to send you a message about some books that I think you might find useful, we are not allowed to post things like that here on the forum so I will message you about those.

    You are not alone, I don't know if I will get out tomorrow, I do know that even if I get out there I will suffer horribly but that with time and persistance it truly is the only way to see any improvement.

    As for natural remedies you have to be careful with those because they can interact with existing medications so always check with the pharmacy before you take anything.

    There is hope, I promise you that but it has to be tackled the right way and the right way is sadly the hard way but you can do it, take care xx

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Bellaluna , yes we sound as if we'r suffering the same..wish I had you for a neighbour, we could compare notes, and give each other support...think thats what I need, just imagine us meeting in the morning comparing notes, and encourageing each other to go out alone..then having coffee...god it would be great.....I  am so sick on the inside, but look grand on the outside, nobody understands the torture I go through every day..stomach in knots, and a light head,I i do know about tapering down the xanax, used to take more, but got it down to 2mgs spread over the day..a very slow process, but its the only way I can do it..please keep in touch. xxxx

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    • Posted

      Wouldn't that be wonderful if we lived closer and could support each other? At least we can do that here though which is something.

      I know exactly what you mean about no one understanding the torture you go through, unless you suffer it there is no way that you can possibly understand how awful it feels.

      People say to me 'but you did it, you got through another day' and I feel like screaming because I went through hell getting through that day and right now I know the next day will bring more of the same hell.

      I got out this morning, was so scared, al the way to the supermarket I had butterflies in my tummy and chest but I coached myself through, when we got there I got out of the car and was hit with a huge panic, awful,sudden and very intense vertigo which was dreadful, I had to hold onto my husband until it edged off a bit but was still feeling shaken by it as we shopped.

      We went to a cafe after and got a cold drink then I did exactly what every therapist has ever told me to do, I went back to that supermarket, it defied every instinct I had because my instinct was that it was the last thing I wanted to do but that is the point of exposure, you have to go there,panic and then go back again and again.

      It wont help straight away, the last time I was like this it took about 3 months of doing this every day,often multiple times a day to see any improvement, you do often feel like you can't keep doing it, you despair and feel like giving up but I remember last time how after what felt like forever finally walking out of the door was less scary, finally I walked around that shop with steady legs and even found myself enjoying it.

      I hold on to the hope that one day I will feel like that again, I can't reduce my diazepam at the moment and the mental health team don't stop going on about it, luckily my gp understands that I need it at the moment.

      You have to do what is right for you, you have to find a way that works for you and enables you to reach a point where you can at least say 'I can try to do this'.

      I'm back home now and still have the anxiety there, it's non stop at the moment but also it's quite normal to feel worse and even utterly exhausted after you have tried something you fear, you have just put yourself right in the firing line after all but it's the only way.

      If someone said to me now 'Will you try to go out again tomorrow?' I would say no way, I can't even try and I can't go through that again but no doubt I will, I will get dressed and force myself to at least try because I know that it's the only way even though this is like a constant nightmare that I can't wake up from,we will get there in the end but only if we are prepared to keep riding through the awful fear and panic, it's so hard, I know it is but it doesn't have to be impossible xxx

       

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    • Posted

      I know exactally what your going through,I have to hold on to my hubby or a shopping trolley ,it is so annoying,I feel like i'm going to fall, and I worry in case people think i'm drunk.I just spent the morning crying, but I feel  better for it now,think crying releases some tension,I am going to start walking around the block, at night, as theres a wall right round, I can hold on to, if I need to. you did the right thing going back in to the shop, please keep in touch..xx

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