How are your partners coping with you having panic/anxiety attacks?

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I have had a very very very bad time in the last week with my anxiety/panic attacks. I've doubled up on my citalopram and I am on 20mg for the last 4 days. Today has been the most manageable day in 2 weeks but I'm feeling kind of numb. I guess it's the double dosage kicking in. 

I know that for anyone that doesn't suffer from this it is hard to understand what we are going through, but sometimes for me reassuring words and arms make me feel a bit better. However, my partner doesn't understand it as he is a very rational person. For him it is more like what's wrong with you snap out of it which of course makes things far worse. I don't tend to talk or eat when I'm like this as I'm so wrapped up in my little anxiety bubble but the minute I mention the word anxiety or panic attacks I can see that he switches of anyway. 

I feel really lonely as I don't talk to anyone about it.

How are your respective partners coping with your condition or how do you get them to understand better? He told me that when I am like this I bring him down too and I feel dreadful about it as this is the last thing I want.

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  • Posted

    Hi Babette 

    My wife isn't taking mine to well same as you my wife said it brings her down to. And she has suffered with depression for some time now but copes with it. We had a very big argument tonight about me and my illness. Because I'm having to take time off work and she is work all hours god sends. In a way I understand her but in another I can't help the way I am. I have been lucky today cause I havnt have an attack. Andy dizziness has only been mild. But we are now at a point where we are not talk to each other. She said I have to stop thinking about my illness and stop worrying about it all the time. Easy said than done I know. But to savey marriage I'm attempting to return back to work at the weekend. 

    Some people don't understand what we go through cause they don't go through it. It is hard when you have anxiety disorder and no one wants to listen to you and understand what your going through. I don't want to be like this I didn't choose to have anxiety. But they don't understand that the mind is a strong thing to control when your anxious. Your welcome to message me any time even if it's just to chat. 

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  • Posted

    Theres no way of making anyone understand exactly how you do, unless they have been through it themselves. I just try to sit and talk with my partner about my issues every now and again. Tell him exactly how it makes me feel and say to him that i dont mean to put all of this onto him. We have a heart to heart and it helps keep him understanding. However, my partner has been extremely supportive and knows exactly how much i struggle. He has every intention of being with me for the long run, despite of my issues. If a partner isnt that way then i dont think they are worth it.I believe that without my partners support i just wont get better. If he gave up on me i would have nothing to change for. Read my discussion 'obsessive compulsive questionning' which will give you an insight into how i am. Its awful and iv pushed many partners away because of it. Iv been through more heartbreak because of the way i am that i would like to imagine. But once the right person has come along they will be there for you no matter what. It does take its toll on partners, and they may get 'sick' of it once in a while. 

    My partners tolerance has decreased lately and its really motivated me into tying even more. Its so hard because no matter what you do, they just wont ever understand how we do. If we had a physical illness such as flu wed receive sympathy and understanding, but because you cant see our 'illness' we end up the bad guys sad.. I think you need to talk with him, tell him exactly how lonely you feel knowing that you cant discuss your problem with him....

    You can always come talk to me, i need someone to talk to as well so im always here smile ...

    Good luck xxx

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  • Posted

    Babette, this will help you...Below is the book CBT therapists give patients to read. It covers everything. its great!!.. 

    Overcoming Low Self-esteem: Self-help Guide Using..., Fennell, Melanie


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