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So I have this friend. I'm a girl and he's a one year older than me boy. We met on a camp where I usually act a bit differently than usual, since it's only a week long and then we became kind of friends, he started writing with me nearly every day. He reads a lot and is generally very smart, creative and open-minded, he's also an introvert who was being bullied as a kid and doesn't have many friends. I really like him as a friend. BUT, whenever I think about him or have to respond to a message he wrote, I suddenly get this anxiety ball in my stomache, my hands start sweating cold, I feel my arms numb and tingly and sometimes a bump in my throath. It feels awful and paralyzing. I don't want to feel like that whenever I have to chat with him, any suggestions how can I maybe change that feeling? I generally don't feel good,beautiful, smart or interesting enough around him and I feel he has a wrong idea about who I really am so I feel uneasy sharing my real thoughts sometimes. I even started ignoring him for a while, trying to escape the uneasy feeling but then started to chat with him again. Even now as I write this I feel very uneasy and as if I am scared. I don't know what to do, but he is a really nice person. I just feel he looks at how people look too much sometimes, and I am not the best-looking person certainly, right now I am a bit overweight and have acne all over me. I just feel bad around him.This is not an anxiety disorder, I reckon, and I am sorry if this is not the right place to post this..I would just like to be friends with him without this strain and...yeah, any ideas?
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