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How can I cope with my anxiety?

Posted , 3 users are following.

emma83574
emma83574

I have been suffering from anxiety for a few months now.  It all started when I returned to the UK from Canada in 2012 and have been unable to get a job offer.  I will give you a little back story of myself, I have always worked and never knew how much I relied on it until now.  My father passed away in Oct 2010 in the day he was due to be released from hospital that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to deal with as I had my mum to support me, but then in January 2011 my mum suddenly died from a bleed in the brain.  Whilst I was off work I found out that they where making cuts and I was in danger of losing my job, I was angry and hurt but I stayed strong.  I decided to leave before I was pushed and fulfil a dream if mine to move to Canada.  This meant leaving my home, family and friends but I was determine.  But I was miserable there.  I was lonely and felt I was getting no where so I came back after a year and had to move in with my sister as I had no home.  That didn't work out (she said some nasty things that I just won't stand for) and moved in with my other sister.  I've been here now a year and am miserable, frightened and disappointed in myself.  I have had no job offers and am stuck sleeping on a fold up bed.  Every morning I wake up with deep sense of dread and regret.  I feel sick and feel like I can't breathe.  I hate playing the victim as I know I only have myself to blame, if I hadn't of left and fought for my job I would not be in this situation.  I am trying to find a job that I am qualified to do but now I am finding that my anxiety levels go way up the minute I switch on the computer to look because I'm afraid that there will be nothing suitable.  It has gotten worse over time and someday a I just wish I never had to wake up.  I pray for peace all the time and my words have become me practically begging for a break.  

I used to be such a strong person and in some ways I still am, I can ham it up in front of people no problem but inside I am screaming.  I have been to therapy which helped me find a reason for my anxiety but it did not help to over come it.  I know I need to leave my sisters flat and have a place of my own and have a job as I have found out I love to help people but whilst I am working on getting these things how can I over come my need to scream and run away?  I'm sure writing helps, I fact just writing this has made me feel better and I can feel that weight lifting and I try and meditate regularly but I know in the morning it will be the same thing again.  The thing is I know it will get better, I know I will get a job and buy my own home I am 100% sure about that but my anxiety grows from the question 'when'.  If I had a crystal ball that said 'all your prayers will be answered on June 15th' then I'm sure all anxiety would disappear but this is real so I have to rely on patience which is what is killing me right now.  

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Christine22352
    Christine22352 emma83574

    Posted

    There is medication that can help you with the anxiety and, temporarily it might help you get through the jub hunt waiting period.  If you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, another step each day, the job will come and you will have all the things you spoke of.  But no one gets ahead who is not willing to take risks and no one who takes risks will win every time.  You took a chance on a well reasoned opportunity.  It didn't work out.  So what.  Don't let it make you so gun shy that you refuse to take the next one.  So, be grateful you have more than one sister, that you were strong enough to takes the chance life offered you, despite the loss of your parents.  You need to be proud of yourself.  You did good.  Take a deep breath and know that you have family.  Nothing terrible will happen and you will eventually find that job.   You write very well. Many uses for such a talent.  Have a bit of faith.  If your had a crystal ball, well ... where's the fun in that? 
    • emma83574
      emma83574 Christine22352

      Posted

      Thank you Christine, I am grateful for your reply I never thought about it like that.  Sometimes I'm too busy burying my head in the sand rather than looking in forward.  Thank you again :-)
  • angela261
    angela261 emma83574

    Posted

    Hi Emma i want to write to you has i too am living in Canada but am trying to make my way home in fact just renewed my passport today online that was nightmare but i wantto come back yes its lonley i was ok then i lost my job and because i was fired unfairly i tried to fight it but the stress was getting to me plus i paid into the system for years and was refuse EI that was the worst the axiety was bad i realised that i had no one to turn too here so i decided to make my way home .so put everything in storage and left my car at a friends house and went to another province i hate it here now ..my dr did give me some antidepressants for four months i took them but didnt refill them ..the stress was horrific my gut feeling was telling me to get home while i still have most of my family there ..been here 12yrs time for me to go home ..just hang in there give time time you will be ok xx

     

    • emma83574
      emma83574 angela261

      Posted

      Thank you Angela.  Its funny at the time I was desparate to get away from things here but when I got to Canada I felt I was missing out!  I do miss it at times under different circumstances I would go back.  

      Thanks for replying it feels good to speak to people who understand and don't judge. 

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