how can I explain to others

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi everyone I was diagnosed early last year but have had symptoms for a good 2 yrs before. I am 33 with a 3 and a half year old son. I try to be positive but it is so hard when I am always in pain and tring to be upbeat is so difficult when I feel drained. My main question is how do I explain to others how I am feeling? As you all know on the outside I look fine but inside it is a nightmare. I dont want to go on all the time about how I feel because I think that will only annoy others and make me feel worse in the process.

If I am limping with pain in my hips then thats great because people can see that somehing is wrong and I dont have to explain or ask for help etc but on the days when I am in agony all over and feel so down and exhausted that I can hardly bring myself to talk I feel that I am alone as people have no idea. I dont want sympathy just understanding. My mum and sisterare very good and I never need to tell them how I am feeling. My husband is very good and tries to understand but I can sense his frustration. He wants to solve things for me but he cant. I would like him to just listen without the need to comment or to back off a little when I am feeling out of it. I have to explain how I feel to him all of the time, and I dont know how to tell him how I feel. I feel bad now moaning about him. thanks for letting me get this off my chest moll :wink:

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Moll

    I am 36 with three kinds and my youngest is 3, and like you I have problems with my hips, I know it is so hard work to get recognition as even some of the so called professionals I have seen they do not understand it!!!!! I know as I have seen 8 and 4 believe in it the other made me feel like I was a hypochondriac!!!!! So because of this I decided to start support group in my area, it is every two months at the moment for an hour, as people are unable to attend as \"we\" haven't the strength, but when we can meet it is good to chat to others in the same boat, who know what you are talking about, without looking at you as though you are stupid!!!!! Anyway our forum is very welcome and you are very welcome to chat to us all, we have Tess, Linda, Di, Lindy and Helen we are all very friendly and we chat about all sorts of things so please feel free to chat xxxx

    If you are wanting to see if there is a local support group in your area, if you tell me where about in the country you live I will give you the link, If you become a member you can email me directly xxx

    I hope you have a good night sleep gentle hug to you and welcome to our group xxxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi and welcome Moll... smile

    Im Lindy, 42, with 1 teenage son.

    I haven`t been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but have been experiencing the symptoms for a while now. Like many, back and forth to GP, blood tests find nothing. Which I believe isn`t unusual. I have an appt with Rhuematology in 2 weeks. That was after being told that the reason for he pain is coz I have a fat belly... :lol: read my post titled \"apparently\", that`ll explain.

    I totally understand where ur coming from. We don`t have broken bones sticking out, or scars to let people know that we may be unwell, so they think all is well.

    To waken up in the morning, having slept (if ur lucky), and feel like uve never slept, to ache all over, some parts worse than others, to feel exhausted when u maybe havent done much, to just not have the energy to do things! Its ruddy hellish so it is!

    I have it lucky compared to the other girls on here, and I count my blessings.

    Hope ur having a good day .

    Catch up soon.


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  • Posted

    Hi Moll

    I am Tess 52 with five children and two grandchildren. Mine have all left home so it is quite as bad for me as I can rest when I want to. I know how you must feel though because it is only since September that I stopped looking after my granddaughter who is 5 now. I was diagnosed in June last year but felt I have had it for at least 8 or 9 years.

    Like the girls said we are all different and some have it worse than others.

    Do come on and let your feelings out it really does help to have the support. :lol:

    We not only say how we are feeling with the fibro but also talk about upbeat things to. It is not all doom and gloom. :cry:

    Welcome to the site.

    Love Tess x x

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  • Posted

    welcome moll

    im di and i am married to john and i have 3 teenage kids, i only got diagnosed in sept and still trying all different meds... the new ones are a anit seizure drug and morphine so i will see how i go..

    anyway moll letting people know how u feel is the one thing i find so hard but over time people are starting to understand, i have lost so called friends through this illness, ones i used to party with go on hols ect, but cant do now so i guess im not in there gang anymore smile

    but we all on here understand ur frustrations and how fibro effects u so come on and join in with us... sometimes we even laugh lol.... so come along and be in our gang

    :D haha..... love and hugs di xx

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  • Posted

    Yeah joys of the fibro, I have been in pain continuous, the joys of winter. Roll on summer.....

    I wish it would be easy to show people how we suffer, but the only people that know are fellow sufferers like us!!!!! and I think even doctors think we are hypochondriacs or something!!!!

    Fibro symptoms we all know about......

    * Widespread pain

    * Chest pain

    * Morning stiffness

    * Fatigue

    * Sleep disorders

    * Anxiety

    * Cognitive or memory impairment (“Fibrofog”)

    * Depression

    * Abdominal complaints

    Frequently, people with undiagnosed fibromyalgia don't realize that a host of secondary symptoms are related to the pain, fatigue and other primary symptoms. Keeping a detailed list of symptoms can help your doctor make a diagnosis.

    Additional fibromyalgia symptoms include:

    * Painful menstrual cramps

    * Vision problems

    * Nausea and dizziness

    * Weight gain

    * Chronic headaches

    * Skin problems

    * Muscle twitches and weakness

    If you try to explain all this to someone they think it is inpossible for someone to suffer so much, and it is so unfair that we have to fight for benefits that we rightfully require!!!!!

    Anyway Moll again welcome to our forum!!!!!

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