How can i support my partner with generalised anxiety disorder?

Posted , 4 users are following.

His disorder affects every aspect of our lives, his patience with me and the kids, inability to socialise, we can make major purchases or take what are calculated risks and move forward in life.

He has been for counselling, has the tools, but says his job is too busy to put them into practice. Eg. Eats rubbish for lunch everyday on the go. He drinks to subside the symptoms, it impedes on our sex life, he is disinterested in participating in life in general.

He will not take meds - its not up for discussion. If feel i am enabling him by hanging in there even though i know he has the tools and isnt or cant use them. But to walk away would leave him with no reason to continue and i cant look after him this way. He needs to help him self...how can i make him seethis?

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    hi,

    try not to be too pushy or you will be pushing him out. He needs to accept first he has a problem and secondly what he will do to sort it. Patience and understanding should prevail. I know that this is going to be hard but pushing him into a decision over medication is a big step for him to take.

    Good luck

    Richard

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    Yes like Richard days,takes time and patience,but he will come around,I know because I was like that myself ,and am still lucky to have my wife and family,but just hang loose and don't let yourself get dragged down with it all,I think what changed me was that I saw that the only person I was hurting was myself and you can only take so much hurt.

    Just do your own thing,and live your life.

    Best Regards Malc

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  • Posted

    I've been living with anxiety for 30 years. Fear is one of the most difficult things to face so I'm not surprised he is running away from dealing with it. However it might be that doing his job gives him some sense of control and self-worth. As a man I know it is very hard to accept that you have an anxiety issue. We are supposed to be strong and fearless and to provide for our family. Biologically, anxiety kills your sex drive so please don't take it personally. It isn't his choice. I became very dependent on my wife (couldn't be on my own without freaking out) and this must have been very frustrating and irritating for her. I'm surprised she stuck with me but so glad she did. Although I became dependent on her for a time I was gradually able to get better because of her love and support. She was able to make me feel safe enough for a while for me to get better. Unfortuneatly she died in a car crash on my son's 7th birthday. I don't have any answers for you, I wish I did. Perhaps he could see the therapist again so that the therapist could take some of the load of you. I admire you for sticking with it but you are right , he needs to see that he has a problem and needs to do something for himself but sometimes, I'm afraid, life is not so simple or logical. Does he have any friends who could talk to him about it? Sorry no magic pill but good luck.

    ps. It might help if you talked to your doctor about it and get some support for yourself.

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  • Posted

    Men are notorious for covering up depression and anxiety with alchoal. They rather self medicate. Theres not much you can do if he refuses to take the meds especially with drinking. Perhaps its better if he is not going to stop drinking. Make a life without him and dont get upset and maybe he will come around when you dont accomodate him. Its not fair to you and the kids. Good Luck.
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  • Posted

    Thank you everyone, Ill keep doing what Im doing...and support him where I can and try to get on with my life and hope for the best. I was hoping for a miracle cure. Smart enough to know there isn't one.

    Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and advice. x

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