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Well its 3.51pm here in glasgow we are in the middle of a heat wave and im lying in bed typing this in the same shorts n tshirt ive had on for over a week. I cnt b bothered going out don't want to see anyone not eating anymore either breakfasts lunch hardly shower. Have no enthusiasm for anything not intrested in anything. My wife got so sick of me not knowing how to have fun or want anyone up to the house she left me now has a new partner only time im happy is seeing my kids but im even struggling to be fun for them now as well. I am sick of anti depressants they do not work i have tried them all and given them time to work if it wasnt for my 3 kids i wouldnt be writing this just now. I a have no qualifications havent worked in over 7 years right now almost every night i just cry and cry. Ppl tell you you need to just get out their i look fat and ugly and cant hold a conversation i have no friends except my 3 kids who i try as hard as possible to hide this horrible deppresion from. They are the only 1 thing that i got right in my life. And i feel so so selfish knowing theirs homeless ppl and babies dying in foreign countries and i am whinging about this i just feel like if i died i would have about 3 or r 4 ppl at my funeral because i push everyone away. I have a poisined brain its all negative thinking all the time i try to turn it into positives but cant. My emotions are everywhere just now 1 min im just numb ext min im at tears like i nearly am writing this i just want to enjoy life i am 32 years old I dnt even have any skills like how to play an instrument or anything are my kids going to think their dads a loser? Its the only thing im good at is bringing up my kids and the love they give to me is the only thing that keeps me hangin in their. Im gonna stop now im just upsetting myself more.
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