How do I cope...

Hi I am a newbie on here so here goes...

I am 20, back in 2015 I lost my son to Cot death. Ever since, I have not been the same person (as expected.) I am going through a very rough patch with my ongoing depression and anxiety, to top it off I haven't been able to sleep properly either. A few things have been annoying me lately...

Yesterday I decided to set up a donation page for my son to help pay for his gravestone. I shared it on my Facebook so family and close friends were aware. My mother then messaged me basically saying she didnt agree with it at all and that people would talk, saying bad things. Personally I believe she's only worried about what people will say in case it hurts HER reputation, but she still makes no sense.

For a bit of backround info, I have only seen my mother once a week for the WHOLE of my life. She works 6 days a week and has always put that first no matter what. I find as I get older, she comes over later, she seems emotionless with no empathy. She always tells people that I am doing fine-like nothing has happened, when she knows this is not true. The whole relationship has always lacked understanding, the bond is totally missing.

My mothers words also dont match her actions-she mentions how she misses me and how she has missed a HUGE part of my life. She recently had a week off work, but seen me once- for an hour?

I don't get it. In fact, the whole thing irritates me to think about lol.

Sorry if it was dragged out, but I had to vent because I need some opinions on this!

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