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I’ve been battling with depression for two weeks now. My dad who have been my greatest hero passed the veil and left the mortal life. I feel like a part of me is empty. I don’t have someone to talk to now, I don’t have someone who will comfort me when I’m in big trouble. I feel lost to this very cruel world. I feel so alone and lonely. I feel like the world is beating on me. I’ve been crying for days, many sleepless nights and tiring days. How do I deal with depression? I already asked for help to some of my friends, but none of them is helpful, even looked on testimonials in a foreign page about fighting depression but still, no effect on me. I need your help.
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valerie01412 arayyahoward
Posted
I think what you are battling with is Grief. Grief is not much different to depression except that in time and sometimes a lot of time for some people your grief hopefully will subside a little. you don't mention a Mum? or how old you are. but I always found that friends did not understand the depth of my grief and unless they have been through it themselves cannot possibly understand. Try looking up Grief and see if you find any help there.
I wish you well in this very very difficult time.
Val x
Guest arayyahoward
Posted
Guest arayyahoward
Posted
I know the pain of grief. It can compound a condition like clinical depression tremendously. I'm 63 and was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was about 40. Been on medication ever since (Paxil-20 mg/day).
In February, 2017 my only brother and my mom died two days apart. Brother had a brain tumor, mom died of complications from a stroke. Dad passed in 2003, the only living direct family I have now is an estranged sister who I haven't spoken to in 15 years. To top it off, I'm involved in a bitter estate battle with sis over my mom's estate.
I've been going through it for a year and a half, but I really got down last night. Hardly slept all night-even taking a Xanax (.25 mg) to help me sleep. The on and off thoughts I have of suicide (I get them during bad episodes of depression, usually caused by life's events) have been more often lately. When I really get down life just doesn't seem worth living anymore.
I really miss my brother in particular, he was someone I could always talk to. Especially since my Dad passed away. Now I have no one I can just pick up the phone and call to talk about the 'old days' and cheer me up. My wife is great, but she didn't share my early life so I can't discuss it with her.
When I'm feeling better I try and be the voice of comfort in this forum-so many other folks are battling anxiety/depression and have bad life situation as well. I try and be a 'listening ear' for them. But the last few days have really dragged me down. Reading your story with the grief challenges really resonated with me today.
Please try to fight your depression on all fronts, arayyahoward-get as much sleep as you can, eat well, try and get some exercise. Are you on SSRI's? Those an help moderate the 'deep valleys' of depression-Paxil has been a life saver for me. Recognize that grief is normal and going through it is tough. I wish like crazy I could pick up the phone and call my brother for one of our old hour long chit-chats, it always made me feel better. Instead, I'm going to head off to my therapist in an hour and try and substitute that to address my depression. It's a continual battle.
I'm a believer, but I have to confess I get angry with God sometimes over issues in my life. Like my Sis having her lawyer jerk me around and so on. Just when my life seems to be getting more tolerable, something like that will happen. That's when I really get despondent and wonder why God doesn't at least help me lift the weight a little bit off my shoulders. Depression is a lifelong battle for us with a clinical condition, a little bit of help here and there can really make a difference.
Hope today is a better day for you arayyahoward. God bless.
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