How do you negotiate with someone suffering major depression, anxiety and abusing alcohol
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi
I wondered if anyone could offer any help?
The husband left the family home suffering major depression and anxiety we did everything we could to help but all help was refused even by medical professionals. He has now settled into a new relationship with an alcoholic and we have discovered that he is now using large amounts of alcohol too.
We are trying to move on with our lives but he is being difficult over settling finances, so far everything has been on his terms and we feel he is trying to control us by making my daughter and myself stay in the family home until it is sold so he does not have to deal with the home. We are at our wits end the daughter has been badly affected by this and had counselling since he left, she has tried emailing him but he will not budge, she feels he is not facing reality and he refuses to listen to fact which is once the family home is sold we will be homeless. I am trying to be reasonabe but he is making life very difficult any help would be a god send. Thank you
2 likes, 29 replies
nicki16559 jackie82937
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jackie82937 nicki16559
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nicki16559 jackie82937
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jackie82937 nicki16559
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The woman he is with is similar to myself minus the alcohol of course and she has short dark hair, he asked me to get my hair cut short last year like I used to have it? Also, it would appear he now has 2dogs that look like the ones we have at home? Thanks Nicki
jason31256 jackie82937
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jackie82937 jason31256
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We have tried applying for housing in another area but we are low down the list. As we currently have a home we are not a priority but we need to move from the bad memories, it is having a detrimental effect on our health, we just want our fresh start as he has had his, not too much to ask is it. He wants contact with her but she has lost all patience with him as has our son they have both tried to help and been pushed away and he sends them some very odd responses. Thanks Jason
Allycats jackie82937
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jackie82937 Allycats
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Allycats jackie82937
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. She's now still in her job as a pharmacist, with a partner and two children. All of us nephews and nieces look up to her because she is a very strong character like yourself. She's now in a happy relationship and supports her daughter and son through cheerleading and school.
. My auntie says that it has to come from you, you have to make a decision to feel better and instead of the negatives, you have to keep asking yourself how you can make things better for you and your daughter. I can guarantee that if you'll force this habit you'll see good, positive changes as she did. The negatives we speak to ourselves effect us if we let them, but we can change them into positives. Instead of I feel sad, change it to how can I make myself happier? I'll be doing the same, so far Ive figured out that I like trying to help out other people and editing wikipedia articles. Hope this helps!
jackie82937 Allycats
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You are right I am the level headed one, I have had to stay strong for our kids who have supported me all the way as have my husband's own family.
It's great to hear such postive news about your auntie she sounds like an amazing woman.
I've just filed for the Divorce and felt a sense of relief! My worst fear is actually approaching later tonight. The only way I know life will be happier and better is to get out of the family home which is what I'm trying my best to do.
Thanks again. x
Allycats jackie82937
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jackie82937 Allycats
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Allycats jackie82937
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jackie82937 Allycats
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My parents have been very kind but I guess I don't want to burned them as they're in their 70's and I don't want them made ill, my Dad has been struggling coping with the situation.
hypercat jackie82937
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This is all about taking some of the control back from him and not letting him dictate your lives. Are in the UK? If so you will get housing benefit if no one is working or partial if someone is maybe. There are other benefits avalailable as well so get looking into it. If you are not in the UK then I don't know the rules and regulations. But you need to start taking some control then you wouldn't be so dependent on his moods and whims. Good luck. xx
jackie82937 hypercat
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We need to confront him so far all he has done is run away to avoid dealing with his issues. Not seeing us means he doens't have to think about what he has done but at some point he will have to face that. I've already given up my job to help him, had 3 major moves for his career and this is how he repays us. Thanks hypercat. Jackie x
hypercat jackie82937
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Get a new job and get some money for yourself. If it is joint money can't your get your half from the solicitor? He cant hold you to ransom like this as it is disgraceful. x
jackie82937 hypercat
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Sadly he is holding us to ransom and I fear he is doing so as he wants me to be the one who deals with the sale of the home and everything else. I am desparately looking for work too, I need to get out and be with other people. Thanks for your kind support. x