How have all your partners/husbands been while your in recovery?

Posted , 7 users are following.

Have they helped put a lot and let you recovery smoothly or have some been thinking that because they can't see any scars etc that you should be up and doing more than you are allowed to ? I had a hysterectomy because of prolapsed womb 3 years ago , had an anterior repair done at the same time , think I had 6 weeks off work if I can remember rightly... the not doing anything business killed me as I neve sit still and tend to do everything for everyone and beyond... Think ours was a case of because I was stood washing up etc then I eventually was left to get on with things as he got sick of telling me to sit down 😊...must add I wasn't hoovering or lifting things tho , just general pottering about . I'm booked in for an anterior repair due to stage 3 bladder prolapse on April 27th and already I can feel my anxiety getting bad as I won't be able to do stuff ! I know we've all been there and we must rest etc ....everytime he's in the kitchen doing stuff u can guarantee he will have something to moan about , drives me potty ! How much did you all do and what stage in recovery?

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  • Posted

    Well I e posted this on a previous post many times. I'm 62 and very active. Rarely sit still. I'm widowed but have a boyfriend (49) 😬 Yup! He lives with me.

    I had foot surgery two weeks before my hysterectomy, vaginally suspension and rectocele surgery. I got a glimpse of his laziness with my foot surgery. I mistakenly scheduled my surgeries during hunting season. How could I? He was gone a lot. Not to mention drank a lot then too! Two days before my female surgery I lost it and told him to move out. I drove myself to surgery and my daughter drove me home the next day.

    He moaned, rolled his eyes and complained if I asked for a glass of water. Seriously? So I didn't want him any where near me or I'd do something to

    him physically. 😚

    He left and if it were not for friends and family I would have been up doing it myself.

    He learned a hard lesson too, thank heaven. He's basically quit drinking and my rules have changed. He's moved back in, but mentally it was very hard having physical issues and then relationship issues.

    My husband of 30 years was no different in the day. Just went to work the day I got home from the hospital with my babies. ALL 4 OF THEM!

    I must just pick them!

    Good luck! Let me know how it goes! I could write the book on the subject!

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    • Posted

      Wow pan that's it to deal with when you've just had major surgery ... So pleased you fought your corner and things worked out for you , I will keep you updated
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  • Posted

    I took my full 6 -8 weeks and did hardly anything strenuous, he really was a big help and still is at my 17 weeks. My church family fixed and bought me meals for the first 10 days and that was a blessing. I tell my hubby all the time thank you for allowing me to recover . I think it really helped with him going to all my doctor appointments with me and hearing what the doctor said and him also seeing my prolapse. I'm grateful!!
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    • Posted

      Hi diann yes I think it does help when they come to the appointments with us , he came to my anitial consultation , so heard everything that was said to me ... He is good and does help , but tends to wind our daughter up at the same time so they start argueing lol , they drive me mad ! I like doing things myself then I know it's done and dusted lol . Will just have to lock myself in my bedroom ( although we live in a bungalow so will still be able to hear all the goings on) with Netflix haha
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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah I'm only 2 weeks post op and it's driving me mad already. Hubbys been good but they don't do things the same do they! The ironing aaaaghhhh!

    I was so peed off with the state of the floors today I got a squeegee mop wet it and went over the floors quickly while he was upstairs or he'd moan at me! Wasn't exertive no buckets of water involved just a light mop and some squeeze stuff for the floor. I'm like a criminal sneaking about trying to do bits lol!

    Xx

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  • Posted

    Got my anterior repair April 18 the sarah37908 I'm dreading the

    Doing the doing nothing stageπŸ˜•

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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah, you will find this forum so helpful as long as you take the advise that helps you , rejoice in the postive stories and just acknowledge but move on from the negative ones. having said that you can learn alot of helpful stuff that you might need from the so called horror stories but I digress. I am 3 weeks post op for rectocelle and perinuem repair. Long story but originally throught to be cystocelle with vaginal wall repair and perinuem repair but once they opened me up they saw what was really causing the trouble. I had no discomfort or real pain aprt from BM for first 10 days . But did have awful heaviness and throbbing in my bottom area. The stool softeners I had started to take before surgery thanks to the advise on this forum helped make it ok. After about 10 days the throbbing stopped . I noticed a stitch with a not had come away and I am convinced it was just too tight and hence the throbbing. Recovery wise I am doing okay, I wasn't prepared for the emotional drain and uncomfortable side of the recovery or for how long it really takes. I was advise unrealistic recovery times and these lead to a few issues when I had to extend what I had been advised. We go from doing everything us wonder women to being told to do nothing. It is very emotionally and physically draining doing nothing. Worst thing you feel okay espcailly in the first 2 weks before the pain killers wear off and the stitches start to bind as the healing occurs, so hopefully you will not do what I did and go and help your hubby in the garden. Suffered next day real heavy feeling and I thought I had damage my surgeons good work. Matron ( she is holiday at the moment) is marvellous she worked in this field for many years and she assured me I hadn't and not to worry. She and the other ladies on this forum have been invaluable to me , I urge you to keep in touch, truely helps. Now at 3 weeks started to do few hours of work - office stuff on computer a day. Sitting not good for recovery so limiting it to bottom goes numb about 40 minutes and then rest. Still putting my feet up in afternoon sometimes I fall alseep other times I don't. I manage to water my garden and keep kitchen tidy , dishes etc. I only ventured out once in the car at about 1 week , proper walking trying to keep up with someone else was very exhausting, after just an hour at the mall , I felt like I had scaled Everest. But can manage to slow walk for about 20 minutes I do it in 2 ten minutes circuits and will slowly increase it as the weeks go on. I don't know about the other ladies but I find the worst thing apart from feeling useless and the uncomfortable heavy feeling is that one point you feel great & strong and then without any warning no strenous activity or anything you feel so down so exhausted and start having stupid irrational feelings like the surgery has not worked or you are such a whimp or foolish for feeling this way. Tears happen often. But this site saved me from those irrational thoughts as others have experienced these feleings too. Sorry for long post . As for hubby. Well over all he has been great, he could have been better but I am not wanting for anything and the house will do. He was really supportive and insistant I got the surgery done ASAP. But as we got closer too it , I think reality hit home and he started to panic a little. Just liitle things snapping and worrying about how are busy would cope. But I assured him I would get alot done before my surgery. He became withdrawn on the day before and on the actual surgery day, his way of coping I think. We only discusse him taking me to the hospital that night and only saw me to reception wouldn't come up and wait with me til I went in to surgery and wasn't there for me when I was taken to the ward. A lot of men werent there though so I didn't get upset. He asked me to call him and I did but I had a hard time in recovery nothing to do with surgery just I have a really low resting heart rate, leaking valves and they couldn't get my heart rate and core temperature back up after the surgery. My specialist had told him it was a minor procedure , yes I know!! So even though I had told my hubby major he thought I wsa over playing it. But his whole attitude chnaged when he called to see how I was going 4 hours after he had dropped me and they told him I was still i recovery, he was a different guy so attentive, so please make sure your hubby realises this is major surgery. He wasn't able to have any time off we have our own buisness but I timed the op so I aould be home for the weekend. He was great the first week. The 2nd he slacked off think like you said he couldn't see any scars and I looked ok. By this week he is back to snapping at me. Pressure getting to him but considering evrything he has been great. Unlike daughter who could not understand why I can't babysit our grandson or why I couldn't have put the surgery off to the big school hols to fit it in around her job. Sounds like you have a great hubby, rest,rest and don't expect too much of yourself too soon are my best advise. Good Luck .Β 
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    • Posted

      Thankyou all so much for your replies ... I'm going to have to be strong and not give in to housework etc , I really don't want to be back in surgery so soon after this one if it fails because of my wrong doings ! Was only in here 3 years ago with prolapsed woman and bladder and here I am again ! Take care all and I hope your all well as can be , thankyou for your advise and sharing your stories x
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  • Posted

    Last time I got help for about 1st 2 weeks, but after that they (husband and 20 year old daughter) were getting fed up! This time just husband here and although he is doing much more this time round he is not doing it quietly. Complaining all the time!

    It is really difficult, I had a pile of library books this time to keep me absorbed, but can't believe I'm missing this great sunny weather I would normally be out walking or cycling! I will bring 2 was on wed... do will start doing lighter things and of course start 5 min walks and build up over next 4 weeks. Been told though no kettle, no hoover, no iron, no lifting restrict to 1 litre of water/mug of tea, for 1st 6 weeks. I do work as this is my 2nd repair so being even more careful this time. Hope all goes well for you !

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