How I cope with Chronic Depression!

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi all,

Back in November last year, I suffered a Major Breakdown - mainly because I thought I could get through life, even being severely disabled by numerous nerve conditions, and many other matters that have built up over many years. But by doing this, I always felt 'down' inside, but 'put up a wall' to block it, and put up a positive attitude to everyone I knew.

Many people thought I was a strong person, especially because I how I coped with everything in life, no one knew what was 'bottled up inside me' - and it stayed that way for over 30 years!

However, I took many people's advice on here, most importantly I booked to see my doctor the very next day, but because I was still such a mess, he told me to come back on Thursday, hoping I would be able to talk to him better.

I was put on Sertraline 50mg, my Neurologist though upped this to 100mg in the past month. I feel better on them, but I still get bouts where I just have emotional breakdowns over the slightest little thing, which I hate and try to hide. I never used to be like this, but since an accident I had which damaged my spine and nerve system, I'm on so many tablets it is unreal - by this I mean, 30+ tablets per day!

Anyway, recently I was given a website address which you can do online courses at Universities across the UK. I looked at them, and a couple caught my eye. Basically, I was trying to get my mind doing something positive, hoping to get away totally of depression. I know it's not easy - but I wanted to prove to myself, that I could still learn more, even though I am very knowledgeable anyway. These courses don't require you to be really clever they cater for beginners to advanced courses, and over 200 to choose from. I started a course even though it was a 5 week course, I missed the first week - but I soon caught up, in a few days. 2 days ago I finished it - I learned so much in just 28 days, it was unreal, and I got my online certificate yesterday stating I had a MSc in Digital Anhropology at the London University! Well, that course certainly took my mind off negative thinking, because that was what I was like before doing this course.

But since then I have put myself down for Cyber Security and Forensic Science, probably not everyones 'cup-of-tea', but I like watching and reading FBI files online, it goes far beyond what an average person would do to cover their tracks, yet it does not take much to find the perpetrator.

Oh,if you are wondering what a Digital Anthropologist does, it's the study of how various cultures worldwide use the various platforms of social networking. At first I thought it sounded boring, but after watching video's, presentations and othe images - the way we look at social media in the UK is totally different to anywhere else in the world. You can download the videos so you can watch them whenever you want to, which I did, to show my daughter - because everything they did was exactly the same as my daughter!

The best part is you do not have to rush through any course, and you can drop out at any point, if you reach 50% of the course it is still classed as a pass. What appeals to most people is all courses are free, you only have to pay if you want a certificate at the end of it.

Since, doing the course I applied some techniques that I learnt on Twitter, which I have never really got in to.. But, using I what I knew before and what I had learnt, I thought I would put in to practice. By this I meant, from just talking to one person on this website, which I had only a few very vague details to finding the same person on Twitter which I knew they used.

In just a few hours I found him, and sent a Direct Message saying hello ******* - I got a message back asking how did I find him with all the millions of people that use Twitter in a day! He was shocked, I was happy that by applying what I had learnt, and just using some simple mathematical equations on tweets you can basically find anyone without even searching!

Hence, why I am starting the Cyber Security course next Monday, with over 200 other people.

My depression is getting better, but it takes so long - I just wish I could just shift the emotional breakdown!

Oh well, perhaps I need to persevere with these tablets, until I get rid of this depression part of my life.

Anyway, just thought I would give you an update.

Regards,

Les.

1 like, 12 replies

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Great to hear from you, Les.  I am so pleased to hear how well things are going for you.  You have such a positive attitude, I greatly admire you.

    Pat.

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  • Posted

    Your an inspiration to us all

    well donecheesygrin

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  • Posted

    Hello Les, 

    It's good to hear from you and hearing of your update. You sound more positive than before. I am the person that recommended you to look at the futurelearn courses. I am so glad that you decided to find some courses of interest. I have done Cyber Security and Forensic Science and really enjoyed them. I have always been interested in Forensics myself. I have done about 10 courses now and apart from one finished them all, the other one was not what i thought it was going to be. I recommended my friend to look at the courses and she signed up to one andi found out that it was the same one i had also signed up to. I would recommend the Mindfulness one as it could help you immensly. There are some meditations, positiveness and as i myself suffer pain i found it very therapeautic. I am actually in a lot of neuropathic pain tonight and it helps to come here to read and answer other posts. I was upset as a friend said " There is always someone worse off " Not what i wanted to hear when i am in so much pain i didn't know what to do to ease it. My mobility is very difficult at times and today was one of those days. I live alone and have no support. I know there always will be someone worse off and always someone better off. I wanted a bit of support, not an unhelpful comment. I know people cannot understand if they do not suffer. My pain is my experience and nobody as walked in my shoes. I have suffered from septic arthritis from aged 11 i am now 59 and suffer depression as well.  I cannot understand your pain, but i will be compassionate towards you. This forum can be a great support for when we need a listening ear.

    At least we can still learn from our homes and all for free. The courses are well put together, and the time and expertise that is put into them from the professionals is immense.

    Wishing you continued success in learning.

    Best wishes.

    Elizabeth.  

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Elizabeth,

      Then I must say a very big thank you, if it wasn't for you I would still be staring at 4 walls, and that was such a closed in and isolated feeling. It is mostly emotional now, which is bad enough, but I can cope to a fashion. I have a part in my life, that still haunts me to this day, I can nolonger attend anyone's funeral, I know that probably sounds bad - I nearly ended up in hospital at the last funeral, which is the one that brings back such horrible memories. My wife does know what it was, because I told her, but I cannot tell anyone else (as in face-to-face), I literally just breakdown over the slightest little thing - because it is something I cannot forget, then again nor can my wife. We have both been through hell over the years, we've both suffered from major depression.

      I used to always say to myself there's always people worse off than myself, but I am not referring to depression. I will go in to it more tomorrow, because its late.

      Regards,

      Les.

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  • Posted

    Don't suppose you could pm the website for the online course could you? I've literally been thinking of hanging myself all day but reading your posts has given me a bit of hope. Thank you, Nick.
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    • Posted

      I can tell you Nick which courses they are as i recomended them to Les. Google Future Learn courses, you can then register for a course that takes your fancy.The courses are all free to anyone. There are many to choose from, most are 6-8 wks average, 3-4 hours per week. You can do them at your own pace from home. They certainly gave me something to focus on from my pain. Mindfulness is one i would recommend which would help with depression. Good luck. Let us all know how you get on.

      Elizabeth.

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    • Posted

      Hi Nick,

      The certificates costs £34 plus postage. I haven't personally purchased any as the certificates are not an actual grade or anything, it is a certificate of participation. As i only do the course for pleasure and i am on a very limited income. Hope you find something of interest, it would be hard not to.

      Elizabeth.

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    • Posted

      Hi Nick,

      Yes, the courses are good, at first I approached Digital Anthropology with very negative thoughts, because to me social media, all I seen it was just drama between people. Then a woman messaged me telling me to look at different platforms, not just Facebook  - so, I did. I re-opened an old account from 2010, deleted everything, changed it all and updated it all. Within one week I had over 130 followers, but I could relate to them better than on Facebook. The reason is simple, you can search for people like yourself with the same interests.

      I now see Twitter and Facebook from a totally different perspective and nothing like the way I was looking at social media, if you do the Digital Anthropology course you to will see how our cultures worldwide vary, and even how people use social media to communicate.

      The other thing is I am well in to politics, course this causes very large debates, you also learn facts which are published on the net, which you wouldn't even know about. Political views on these forums is a big 'no, no' which is fair enough, everyone has their own reasons for voting or not liking certain new policies.

      And tomorrow I start Cyber Crime, but I am also interested in the Forensic Science course as well. I might actually do both at the same time.

      @Elizabeth, I'm sorry for not getting my story up, I was going to do that yesterday, but we had a network outage in the area which affected broadband and TV. Course I phoned them and just got a pre-recorded message stating network issues in your postcode region, but it did state they were intermittent. Well, the whole family waited til about 1am, and gave up and went to bed.

      Woke up at 7.30am today, and it was still down!!! I thought I'll have my breakfast then actually talk to one of the technical support.

      Well, I slipped with the spoon and ended up with a lap full of cornflakes and milk! Good start to the day, luckily I had not got properly dressed because it was Sunday.

      So, after I eventually got my breakfast in my mouth - don't worry its normal for me to tip things, comes with my core condition, took some medication. I then phoned the ISP - the guy asked me my name and what the problem was so I said:

      "My internet has been down since 4pm roughly, I am getting 1 downstream locking out of 8, the DHCP is sending packet data, but it is not returned, hence why the other 7 downstreams are not locking!"

      The Indian guy on the phone said I think I need to pass you to Tier 2 Technical Support because I do not know what that means!! So, I had to explain the problem again, but this guy knew what I was referring to, and ran a check on my modem. And, he found the problem - for some reason someone had deactivated our modem yesterday, there was no explanation. I am going to claim compensation tomorrow, only because I know a guy that can get it authorised! Besides it was nearly, 24 hrs without no TV or Internet... All I was thinking about was my next University Course starts on the 4th. 

      Hopefully, I'll get a hour or so, to do that post.... and I have to phone my doctor because of something strange happened with some of my tablets and I have no clue why the directions have changed with no notification..... doctors!!!

      Regards,

      Les.

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    • Posted

      Hi Elizabeth,

      Well, I still haven't got around to typing up my story, yet - I been engaged either on Twitter or FutureLearn.

      I am so glad you informed me of the website, and I'm currently doing the Cyber Crime course which started on Monday and I done the whole week in just 2 days! And, that was answering all OU questions and all the people that are following me, are firing questions at me.

      I was surprised this morning when one of OU Facilitators contacted me regarding a post I made on Other Resources, so I typed up a full article on very Helpful Resources that the OU did not have.

      After posting that, I had about 12 people start following me, so I made another post Cyber Crime, and related to Ebay. I gave them links to videos and full IT Professional Articles covering the subject. Not a single person so far, knew of the security issue, and what made this post worse was the entire contents I explained how the crime was done, which was not posted anywhere. Only because I knew the outcome, from people that have had suffered the experience of this fatal crime which is deadly.

      I think the OU should add it to their Cyber Crime studies, because many more people will start falling for this cyber-crime which could be someones entire life story, gone in secs with no way of getting it back.

      Loads of other students have been asking me questions, wanting to know what the various terms I have used. - many of them are simple, but others are more difficult or complex to explain. I noticed now the OU Facilitators, have started stating that those terms you will learn further on in the course.

      You wouldn't believe I started this post at midday... it been one of those days where I cannot stay awake.

      Regards,

      Les.

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    • Posted

      Hi Les,

      Wow you sound very busy and so it seems you have found something of interest too. I am so pleased for you. I did the cyber security one and found it very interesting also. I am going to start one called ...Maths Puzzles: Cryptarithms, Symbologies and Secret Codes. I might be out of my depth thou, i will give it a go anyway. It certainly takes our minds off our pains and problems for a while. I remember reading your post a while ago and thought how can i help this guy and the futurelearn courses came to mind. I recommended the courses to my friend not on the forum, and she as done two now and really enjoyed them. I think i must of had an email initially about them and thats what got me started. Well keep up the good work. The interaction with other learners and followers and comments can boast our confidence. I can picture your self esteem improving, and all this for free is amazing. I will do many more, i hope they don't start charging lol. I hope Nick on this thread decides to try one. Keep in touch as i would love to hear how you are getting on, and it's good to talk even if your not feeling grand we can stick together. I suffer depression and physical pain also witha degree of mobility problems. 

      Best wishes.

      Elizabeth.

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