How to break the news?

I had to tell my bf too once I found out. Before I told him I did research as far as what it would be like living with herpes, how our sex life would be affected, if we could have kids at some point, how likely it would be for him to get it, how its spread, etc. I think that really helped both of us come to terms with it.

Dont feel disgusting, 1 in 4 people have at least one form of herpes and a lot have both types- mouth and sexual. As far as how you got it-- you could have had it long before you met your bf ,it can lay dormant for years without you having any idea you contracted it. If he is truly the love of your life he will be understanding and you can work through it together.

My first outbreak was caused by extreme stress and worrying. Since then I have found that if I can remain fairly calm it helps reduce the amount of outbreaks. I know with kids it makes it hard sometimes but try is all we can do.

Good luck talking to your man

Thank you so much! Although I'm still beyond scared to tell him, I know I need to. I'm just hoping the test results will come back negative. I'm trying my best to stay positive. But the only reaction I feel as though I'll get is him just getting up and walking out of my life for good. Sitting in that room today and hearing the news was devastating. I know it's common as sad as that is... But I can't help it to feel like this will be the end of something good I know stress isn't good especially during an outbreak if GH is what I actually have right now. From what I've been reading though, they say the first outbreak is unbearable. To me this isn't too bad... It's irritating to say the least & really only hurts if I touch the affected area. Do you have any tips as to how to deal with outbreaks? I'm on meds as of today. But is there anything else I can do to help?

Can too much sex or rough sex cause sores that are similar to that of GH? Cause Friday and Saturday night we did have sex multiple times and both of the second times I wasn't getting as wet as usual. Could that also cause the sores? Ahhhhhh I'm just stressing out. But thank you so much for the advice! I really do appreciate it. All I can do now is wait for those results and just try my best to stay positive.

It highly probable that your partner has it, so best clear the air and get him tested.

Hi Rebecca,

I know exactly how youre feeling, as i went through this 2 years ago when i got the news.

What saved my life from "insanity" was the Herpes Handbook, which tells you all about living HSV-II and even how to break the news if youre in a current relationship or when you start dating again.

Herpes Handbook

http://westoverheights.com/herpes_handbook/final_HH_for_2010_revision_1.pdf

My first breakout was absolutely horrible- I think it was made worse because we had sex before I knew I was having a breakout. I had been a little itchy but I figured it was from shaving. It wasnt until I went to the bathroom after having sex that it was sudden splitting pain from the amonia in urine hitting the sores. The second outbreak I had wasnt near as bad. it was just kinda itchy and I didnt even bother taking meds for it, I just kept it clean and figured out how to pee without it hitting the affected areas.

Like try hard bob said- your bf probably has it especially if you had sex a day or 2 before the breakout got bad. Hopefully the test comes back negative but I would probably start reading up on it just in case. It is totally mangable. Telling him will be the hardest part and it'll get better after that.

I've been doing research all day and night since I heard the news. I'm devastated cause this could be a make it or break it situation for my boyfriend and I. I'm completely heartbroken because I feel like I just ruined his life as well as mine. It's helped to have all your responses of positive outcomes or words of advice, but I'm not thinking positively right now please just send positive thoughts my way. Having a negative test result would lift this heavy burden and make my life so much easier right now. If it is positive, I guess I need to start thinking of ways to being up this difficult topic and just pray and hope it goes smoothly

Well there is the possibility that HE already had it and passed it to you without knowing it. Its entirely possible to go for years without knowing you have GH- best I can figure I had it for about 3 years before having a breakout and getting diagnosed. Dont get all down on yourself, its not something you had control over and now that you know about it you are taking care of it. Dont blame him or yourself for it, I know its not easy to believe right now but you will be able to get through it and things will get better. Feel free to message if you just need to talk to someone.

I can't really think of when I could've gotten it or how. After my divorce I did have relationships with two other men, but both times protected. I know my exhusband cheated on me multiple times, so I'm assuming maybe it was from him? But then again who knows.

Thank you so much, I might have to message you. I feel like I don't have anyone to really talk to about it. I feel like friends would be disgusted & it would change their whole perspective on the type of person I am.