How to deal while I put off the surgery

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I have stage two urethra and uterine prolapses. My ob wants to do a hysterectomy to fix the uterus and some sort of stiches fit the urethra prolapse. I have much discomfort, some pain, and incontinence, and all the utis and other problems that go with it. The idea of having surgery is scary to me, and what healing may be like, let alone trying to arrange for help with that amount of time being down (I have three of my own children plus my three nieces and nephew that I care for). I guess I'm hoping there is something I can do to help with the discomfort until I decide to have the surgery.I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, my mom is pushing me to go for surgery asap, but she has never dealt with any prolapse. Any suggestions would be great. My doctor made it sound like it was surgery or deal with it sad the whole thing is very depressing, not to mention it has killed my sex life!

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  • Posted

    Hi Katie if ur suffering u must av the surgery I was worried as I have 2 young boys I had a@p repair but I've never looked bk the difference after the surgery is amazing, I was off work 12 weeks I just started bk , u need lots of help and support cos u cannot do anything not even lift 1/2 jug water in kettle for a few weeks , it's complete rest and must listen to ur body if it tells u to rest , hope u got a good partner and plenty of family , I got amazing partner who took time off work he did literally everything , good luck in what u decide to do , I say u shud av it, let us know what u decide
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  • Posted

    Hi,

     just to say I know how you feel and agree that you should have the surgery if it's really affecting your life too much. I went on a year too long really getting more and more limited  and more discomfort.  Really didn't seem to be another choice as I had tried everything and really didn't  want surgery.

     and I feel for you with the children etc as i was/ am free with good help. That is the problem, you need to do nothing and have major support at least at first.

    I am 6 wks now and just turning the corner and can feel all the benfiits,like coming out of a dark tunnel.  Yes it is totally depressing  and it doesn't get better . So I think it's best if you work out how you can arrange the help and  support and just go for it .. But with a good experienced surgeon.

     Wish you all the best. We all totally understand on this site.

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  • Posted

    Katie I'd suggest asking your ob if there is a prolapse support pessary that will help you until you have surgery.  I had a bladder prolapse (what they call anterior) into the vagina and bowel prolapse (what they call posterior) and vaginal vault prolapse where the top of the vagina was coming down after a hysterectomy, and I've got what they call a shelf pessary which holds everything beauitfully in place and is absolutely brilliant.  But you can't have penetrative sex with this type of pessary.  That's not to say there isn't something that could help you until you have surgery though, because there are pessaries that can be removed daily.  I'd suggest asking about it.
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  • Posted

    How long are you hoping to put the surgery off for katie? That's what you need to think about because your prolapse are not going to get any bettering. Are you childminding your nieces and nephew because if you are they aren't your responsibility. Looking after children, lifting them an rushing around will be making things a whole lot worse so prepare the other children's parents for what is likely to happen and get this surgery over and done with because there will come a time when you won't feel well enough to look after your own never mind anyone else's 
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  • Posted

    Hi Katie, I'm a lady of 71 and I had a double proplapse repair - bladder and rectal wall - just over 2 years ago. Now don't imagine me as a doddery old thing with walking sticks; because I'm very much the opposite. I'm young for my age and have a full and active life. After being widowed I remarried in 2012 to a younger man and began - after a long absence - to have a full sex life once more - wow!! With the prolapses I had though I found them rather a nuisance and not very 'attractive'.

    I decided to seek help. My GP sent me to see a lovely LADY consultant/surgeon at our local NHS hospital who 4 months later operated on both prolapses and also 'tightened the undercarriage area' which she said was a "bit flabby' (ha ha). The following weeks afterwards are very challenging and you will need patience and help with housework and children - NOT lifting anything heavier than a full kettle for many weeks! But, let me tell you - IT IS SOOO WORTH IT!!!  I would tell my my daughters the same "please don't put up with the misery any longer; go ahead and have the operation, the results will change your life for ever one hundred per cent." It IS scary - yes - no one was more frightened than me before I had it done especially since at the age of 68 I'd suddenly got married again to a wonderful man & found a sex life again - so I really didn't want to lose that OR my new husband. Well, I needn't have worried; 11 weeks after the operation things in the bedroom department got back to normal and everything was better than I could have ever imagined. My husband said it was like sleeping with a 19 year old - I DID ask my surgeon jokingly about a face lift at the same time by the way but she laughingly declined! 

    I would certainly recommend it to you especially as you sound so young. You will be as delighted as I have been I'm certain and your partner will be too - you mustn't forget him by the way. You will feel so much better about yourself; have new confidence; feel attractive once more and feel sexy. Your husband and children will see a whole new YOU and so will the rest of your friends and family. If you leave things as they are it will simply get worse. 

    My surgeon didn't cut and remove anything; she tucked and folded loose tissue from the prolapses then stitched it down. It does feel very slightly different to me down there but my dear husband said to him everything seemed 'lovely' - sorry to be graphic - but we're all girls together here. 

    If you want to ask me anymore questions - feel free to contact me again when I'll be only to happy to answer them for you no matter how silly you may think they are. In the meantime, do read as much as you can online about the condition and watch the operation on YouTube. It's important to understand everything in order that you fully understand what needs doing and you can also ask the relevant questions when you see your consultant. 

    Best wishes, LadyPink

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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your replies. I am thirty five. I do baby sit my nieces and nephew, and I'm sure my family would definitely work with me on that somehow, and help with what needs done. I just know it will still be difficult! It's hard when I get sick for a few days (as I have been this week), I can only imagine longer! I have been using coconut oil to help with some of the rawness, which helps a lot, but it doesn't help with the more depressing aspects of things. I will look into a pessary, that sounds worth a chance, especially if I can remove it for sex! My husband doesn't have much sexual desire, but I always do! I don't want to feel broken forever. I'm thinking I will try a pessary, and maybe do the surgery this summer. Hopefully it will be amazing and I won't have any more problems from having things taken out. Doc did say the stitching will only last ten to fifteen years, so I'll have to go back eventually. It will all be worth it if I can feel normal l again. Well surgery help stop the incontinence? Lady pink, your story is especially inspiring! I have been so depressed thinking I could be done having sex for life. I will keep my chin up and get through this. Thank you all so much for chatting with me about this, you have no idea what a relief it is.
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    • Posted

      Katie, I'm a bit shocked that a doctor said the stitching would only last ten to fifteen years.  I don't know if that's correct or not, but I've not heard that before.  I think most ladies - find it sorts them out permanently, although having said that, they reckon that one third fail within 5 years, so I don't know if studies have been done on the longer term success of prolapse repairs.  There are some ring prolapse pessaries that they say you can leave in and still have sex with and I know one of these comes with an incontinence 'knob' but I was never happy having sex with my ring in, but maybe I just wasn't that desperate because I was on a fairly high dose of anti depressants at the time that affected my libido.  But I think if you talk to a urogynie person about the problems you have, and what you want out of it, in the short term and longer term, there's a good chance you'll find something that will help you, and you'll have a plan to know where you're going with it all.  Hope it goes well:-)))
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    • Posted

      Your doctor is right katie normally a repair doesn't last a lifetime if you have the surgery when you are young and the chances are you will have to have further surgery later. However things are improving and more and more research is being undertaken to try and improve the timescales. Historically it was mainly older ladies well into their 60's who had the surgery purely for that reason but now with Urogynaecologists being more up to date they are performing the surgery on younger women.
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