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im a 28year male, and over the last 6-12months i have noticed feeling sad or depressed randomly. i have no reason to feel this way, i have a good job, i just bought myself a nice new car. i live with my best mates. But for the last 4-5weeks i started to feel every morning and every evening it is now the end. i have nothing more to do or offer.
I have this strong strong feeling that it is time to leave, ive thought often about killing myself, and i understand i dont want to hurt family or friends or work colleagues around me by doing so.
But i just feel like i want die doing something good like saving someones life or something, so i can do something good, be dead and not have anyone i know wonder why i am gone. Leave without people knowing how i feel. I get people care about me and all that.
The problem I have is I can’t work out why I feel like this, and sometimes the feeling goes away during the week. When I am at work I am fine, I like what I do and work long hours, so it does take a big distraction.
But if things get a bit tough at work I feel this pain even more when I leave.
I’ve long ago lost the want to fall in love, I’ve come to terms that I should be alone, but I am starting to lose the want to talk to people anymore. I’m finding myself becoming boring, and not interested in speaking to anyone new when I am out with my mates.
I’ve spent hours and hours wondering why I feel this way, and telling myself to man up and stop being silly. Trying to shake it off. Ive thought of many reasons it may or may not be, but I don’t know how to fix the problem.
Im not someone who is willing to speak to someone about this, everyone knows me as a happy chilled guy, i dont want that to change. and i dont want people to think im being soft or weak.
Any advise on what i can do to get rid of this? is this depression or am i just going through a phase?
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