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How to deal with how i feel

Posted , 6 users are following.

j40089
j40089

im a 28year male, and over the last 6-12months i have noticed feeling sad or depressed randomly. i have no reason to feel this way, i have a good job, i just bought myself a nice new car. i live with my best mates. But for the last 4-5weeks i started to feel every morning and every evening it is now the end. i have nothing more to do or offer.

I have this strong strong feeling that it is time to leave, ive thought often about killing myself, and i understand i dont want to hurt family or friends or work colleagues around me by doing so. 

But i just feel like i want die doing something good like saving someones life or something, so i can do something good, be dead and not have anyone i know wonder why i am gone. Leave without people knowing how i feel. I get people care about me and all that.

The problem I have is I can’t work out why I feel like this, and sometimes the feeling goes away during the week. When I am at work I am fine, I like what I do and work long hours, so it does take a big distraction.

But if things get a bit tough at work I feel this pain even more when I leave.

I’ve long ago lost the want to fall in love, I’ve come to terms that I should be alone, but I am starting to lose the want to talk to people anymore. I’m finding myself becoming boring, and not interested in speaking to anyone new when I am out with my mates.

I’ve spent hours and hours wondering why I feel this way, and telling myself to man up and stop being silly. Trying to shake it off. Ive thought of many reasons it may or may not be, but I don’t know how to fix the problem.

Im not someone who is willing to speak to someone about this, everyone knows me as a happy chilled guy, i dont want that to change. and i dont want people to think im being soft or weak.

Any advise on what i can do to get rid of this? is this depression or am i just going through a phase?

2 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Mtm
    Mtm j40089

    Posted

    THIS IS exactly how my depression started and I was so confused. My doctor told me if there was no real reason for feeling this way, it could often just be a chemical imbalance in the brain.  I tried for a year to get straight on my own but never could.  My wife finally fooled me into going to my doc.  He prescribed several anti depressants and worked with me closely for about 3 monthes and I got better.  I have quit meds but every now and then I feel the thing coming back so now I just stay on a low dose of meds and it seems to help alot.  I feel for you.  It is an awful feeling and confusing.  Five years ago, if someone had come to me with this problem I would have said oh just get over it but now I know first hand how it can affect your life.  You are not alone.  You should talk to a doctor.  It may be simple as that.  Don't forget it can take several weeks for meds to help.  Let me know if I can help in any way.  GOod Luck. 

     

    • j40089
      j40089 Mtm

      Posted

      Thank you, a bit reassuring hearing others have experienced the same feeling. Which anti depressants did you use? Im worried about having to take something for such a long period.
    • Mtm
      Mtm j40089

      Posted

      Oh yea I took them only for about a year then quit with little problem.  I started back recently 

       

  • danilo45459
    danilo45459 j40089

    Posted

    I'm 29 years male, and similarly to you, I have been feeling depressed for the last 4-5 months. But it is easier to explain in my case because I have social phobia since I was about 16 and my parents have history of depression/anxiety related problems. On top of that, I moved from my home country to UK 5 months ago and I haven't made friends so far.

    In my opinion, what you have is not a phase, it is really depression. I recommend you to visit your GP because the depression is easier to be treated at the beginning.

    Good luck.

     

    • j40089
      j40089 danilo45459

      Posted

      thank you. i will book a time to see my GP. i hope things get better for you!
  • grace11311
    grace11311 j40089

    Posted

    Hello I understand why you are confused about why you should feel depressed when you feel that you have everything others would want but when you are depressed you could have millions in the bank , have a lovely wife and family etc etc but still be unhappy because of a chemical imbalance in your brain - I feel like that too - have a new grandchild on the way - a luxury holiday in  Thailand planned and should be on top of the world but I am not - please seek medical advice and with a bit of luck you will feel a lot better once you have been prescibed the right medicine for you - good luck
    • j40089
      j40089 grace11311

      Posted

      thank you! i had never considered medicine as an option to help. it doesnt feel like medicine could help with an emotion. i will speak with my GP.
  • Vickycam
    Vickycam j40089

    Posted

    You definitely should find a doctor to speak with.  You will probably be dprescribe medication.  Do not be afraid to take it.  I, too, am thought to be a cheerful person but deep down I am often sad.  I don't talk about that condition with friends or family.  Once you're on an antidepressant (there are many kinds)  it takes awhile for the patient  to feel the benefits. Also, what works for one person does not work for someone else.  I tried two different medications, both of which had side effects so after a  few days I stopped taking them.  I am now on mirtazapine - a low dose - 15 mg. and it seems to be helping. It's prescribed often and for some people it's a life saver.  It also allows me to sleep well even though  I have rather vivid dreams. but   not nightmares.  I'm old enough to be your grandmother and I truly hope you will seek out help from a compassionate and competent professional.  Your friends never need to be the wiser.  To answer your final question - no I don't think it's a phsase.  You've been suffering in silence for  too long.   Please get professional help ASAP.  All good wishes for your complete recovery.  
    • j40089
      j40089 Vickycam

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your feedback. i am worried about medication for a long period of time. Im not sure why but it worries me.
  • Pablo1978
    Pablo1978 j40089

    Posted

    You have described exactly how I feel, I've never been able to explain it before. I don't feel it's a phase, it's something ivebeen dealing with for a couple of years, I'm making an appointment at my gp to talk it ALL through and take a reccomendation from them? What do you think?
    • j40089
      j40089 Pablo1978

      Posted

      yes all seems i need to see a GP to move forward. its not nice that other people feel this way, but is comforting to hear that other people understand how I feel.
  • Mtm
    Mtm j40089

    Posted

    I tried a few but finally got on Lexapro in morning and seroquil at night.  Seroquil will help you sleep and yea Lexapro makes you a little sluggish but not too bad.  I can stand the low dose.  I love my doc but I think they all want to up dosage until they see a change which is fine but then  I had to lower on my own to stay awake at work.  It takes some time.  I went nearly 30 years without seeing a doctor.  I was terrified of them but finally had one come see me and put me a little at ease.  It is tough to talk to someone about this but I think it was worth it.  Good luck.  let me know if you want my email to ever contact me confidentially.  I don't have the answers but I can listen 

     

  • michael_37726
    michael_37726 j40089

    Posted

    Medication is a good option but not good long term in my experience, I have been stuck on them for 30 years and it's not that I need them it is because I am addicted to them. I would say give it try but but it's not always the best thing but if you feel suicidal it may help you through this phase. I hope you feel better soon 
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