How to recover and overcome awful memories despite the event happening almost 10 years ago?

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hey guys

I hope you are all as well as can be.

I am a 26 year old guys, hope to graduate in masters civil engineering. However recently and frequently over the past 5 years I have been suffering horrendous modes of fear, depression and anxiety over threats and abuse by a school bully.

The issue is during that time I did stupid things which caused this person to make fun and torment me so much. But my dear comes from the fact I feel as he is a likely gangster/drug dealer from powerful connections I fear if I ever bumped into him again I could get killed/attacked by him.

The threat he made all those years ago was over the phone when he said he was going to bring my ass down/I'm messing with the wrong guy/I'm a big pussy who would get f****d up etc.. .

All this abuse and even more happened which was worse, but I fear terribly something may happen as also during theabuse I eventually soad I would get my brother and his gang to sort him out which was not true.

But after I said that, he even troubled me more on a daily basis even and laughed off what I said which when I look back makes me think he could be dangerous and it's awful!

Please help me with some advice/if you had similar experience too. Thanks very much.

1 like, 4 replies

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Adam

    10 years is a long time. I suspect by now he is grown up

    Possibly married with children. I doubt he remembers any of this. And if you to bump into him in the future he would be pleased to meet you again and treat you as an old friend.

    Just forget about it.

    Take care

    Vangellis

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  • Posted

    Does he know where you live?  do you know where HE lives, if he ever bothers you again tell him you are going to the police and then ring off.     This is harassment and you don,t  have to take it, your future looks bright, don,t let this scumbag spoil it, he isn't worth even a moment of your thoughts, good luck and try to stay strong.

    Val

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  • Posted

    Hey

    I thought I would reply to your post as I remember having threats after an argument with a girl (actually just over 10 years ago) .  Looking back I had probably done silly things too but you know what .. everyone does silly things . 

    Your reactions are perfectly normal and this traumatic event affected you as you felt in physical danger. 

    I have read about anxiety and obviously this memory has gone into your brain as a dangerous memory.

    I think you would benefit from something like CaB  which helps you rewire your thoughts. As it seems to be such an ingrained thought/ fear in your brain then I doubt just reassurance off people will cure it.

    But for what it is worth... you are most probably not in any danger. If this guy is a jerk then he probably has a lot more enemies etc who he has to deal with more than you who he hasn't seen for 10 years. In the most likelihood if you saw him he would probably just ignore you or even in a work :  social setting try and be friendly ! 

    10 years is a long time to hold a grudge but it doesent really sound like he has anything to hold a grudge for ? He was a bully and he took his anger out on you and forgot about it . You didn't really do anything by the sounds of it except be an easy target as a kid?  Even if he is a so called 'dangerous' person .. 10 years with no contact I'm pretty sure he has moved on from it . 

    You need to learn a way to realise these thoughts are just thoughts and how to control them and not let them control you . If you can't then I would suggest professional techniques like said abouto CAB springs to mind . 

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  • Posted

    Hi I am sure he has much bigger fish to fry than you whom he probably forgot about 10 years ago!  I think you need some help to get over your fears so counselling sounds like a good idea.  x
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