How to stop ups and downs which make me feel o can't escape depression?

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hey guys

I hope all is well.

Recently I have been going through a very rough patch of ruminating over past fears and traumatic memories.

The thing that is even harder is I can get over them for a while, but then feel trapped as they can come back and last for an unpredictable time.

Most of my bad memories are about a terrible bully from high school who threatened me, which I still fear as he is a gangster/drug dealer. Also a lot of the time I remember the stupid things I did and said where I made a fool of myself and it really makes me feel regretful.

I am 26 now and graduating from my masters in civil engineering, but these memories drain my energy and make me very fearful.

Is there anyway to just let them go and stop the fluctuating rumination? Thanks very much for any help you can give.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Adam,

    Congratulations on your Masters in Civil Engineering. What is your next goal? What are your plans and the necesary steps to achieving the new goal?

    I ask these questions because for me I find that using other things to focus on, to methodically pursue, acts as a distraction from ruminating about the past. Another thing I do is listen to an audio book or movie over and over again. By feeding a controlled storyline into my brain prevents me from ruminating. This is my way of turning my brain off of the bad stuff by keeping it busy with non harmful stuff that I can control. It really helps me to get rest. Hope it might help for you too.

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    • Posted

      Hey Claudia

      Thanks for your reply it means a lot.

      The only thing is I already focus on these things, but I think since I had a blood clot 4 years ago and had to take blood thinning medication I think some of their side effects include disruption with thoughts and thinking for me anyway.

      I only noticed this when I stop taking them anytime I did after which I feel total training mood energy and positive feeling which is difficult to explain to anyone because they don't understand.

      the medication I'm on Now is better as the side effects are not severe however I still do get flashbox which are very painful and seem to last for a very long time.

      also any time I tell friends or family this they don't really have the time and don't really want to understand exactly what I mean because they just say it's an excuse and I'm complaining.

      Do you know what I mean question mark what do you think is the best thing to do?

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  • Posted

    Hi I feel for you. I am much older but feel the same. I will be there watching  tv and see something that will trigger a regret or a memory and the pain is unbearable. 

    Are you on any meds sometimes they can dull the pain? 

    The only thing that helps is to make new more positive happy memories. You are young enough you can do that. I am willing to bet the bully does not remember you even. 

    Good luck

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  • Posted

    Well done Adam, you must be made of tough stuff to graduate at university! You didn't let them completely put you off then? Go seek the support you need by seeing your doctor otherwise you'll end up feeling worse, I ignored having PTSD for over 20 years and now have huge health problems. It does make me feel really grim some days. Look after yourself no-one else will. Good luck to you, those bullies will never want to know about you and the fact that you have a degree, but it's a poke in the eye against them.

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  • Posted


    God created all creations with feelings and that is an amazing thing , to feel to be alive to know what is happiness and what is sadness .

    it's okay to have a bad past or a bad memory coming to your head from time to time , and its okay to feel something about it either it's a good memory or a bad one .. 

    but it's not okay that those memories can effect you that much , and to cause the same feeling with the same exact amount .

    you just have to think about it differently like you were strong enough to pass all of those days that is full of sorrows and joyful and think about about much you worked hard to reach this moment of you life .. think about it like a life experiment . 

    sometimes you have to go through hell and back , but the problems you thought were so big in your life aren't so bug after all .  And the courage you always wanted , you always had it you just needed to get into the game .

    and you already did doing your master you seem like a smart strong man ^^ congrats 

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