How to tell my psychologist that I'm depressed?

Posted , 5 users are following.

i don't know how to tell them. i am suicidal and i have self-harmed in the past. i see a psychologist for other health reasons, and my depression has been getting really bad as of late. last time i tried to tell them about my anxiety but they just blew me off, saying it would improve with time. i don't want to tell them that i'm suicidal from fear that i'll get locked up in a mental institution or something, and that i don't want to disapoint my parents. how do i tell them i'm depressed without freaking them out, and getting them to believe me? thanks

1 like, 13 replies

Report / Delete

13 Replies

  • Posted

    The next time you have an appointment, you sit down and you say "I am suicidal and I have self harmed in the past" If they blow it off, then you need to find a new provider.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Let me add something else… You're not going to disappoint your parents. Your parents want the best for you and want you to be healthy and happy. That's what parents want for their children. Also if you feel immediately suicidal, call 911 or a friend or family member to be with you and get you to a provider.
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      i ended up telling them, and my mother handled it really badly. i can hear her crying right this second. i feel so guilty, makes me feel worse. it took me years and years to finally gain the courage to confess this and she just makes me feel bad, i don't know anymore
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Jen:

    How are you doing?

    Have you considered a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist?

    Sometimes family members may not be equipped to to deal with a full disclosure. But - maybe in general terms?  For example:  "I'm feeling a bit low.  I'm feeling the blues and it's becoming a bit debilitating.  But I am going to get help.  Just wanted to let you know in case I seem low or distant..."

    Sounds like you already disclosed to family members.  Maybe you can amend it by saying "I am getting help - but sometimes I do feel very low.  So I just wanted to let you know in case I seem distant or blue."

    Then consider seeing a psychiatrist?  Some meds really help.  But I strongly suggest seeing a doc.  A pychiatrist - which is a medical doctor - as you may know.

    Also - maybe try some kind of exercise?  Brisk walking and swimming has really helped me.  

    Hope you are getting better.

    Best,

    Chip

     

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi chip, I'm dale. haha not exactly the best thread for bad humor, but figured I'd try throwing some in anyways. But Chip does touch on some good points. A couple things I'd like to throw out there; A lot of people don't really accept anxiety as a serious illness (sucks but sadly true) so for your parents the step from saying I have anxiety to saying you're depressed and suicidal could be drastic. To be honest I'm not sure how to tell them. Mine kind of made me tell them so I don't know. I guess the best way if you haven't told them already is to simply come out and say it. I know that it won't be easy but if you're already trying to get help then that's already a huge improvement that they should accept. I understand that it's not easy for you so in all honesty you could leave them a note or "accidentally" leave something open which suggests or says it. Pretty unprofessional sure, but whatever works right? To be honest as long as they find out in the end, any unharmful tactic will work. I know it's scary I didn't want to tell them either but it's a temporary setback. Now on to the meds. While many meds are helpful and can improve your mental, emotional, and even physical state greatly, if you're not careful it could lead to a greater problem down the road. Not saying that the idea's completely closed, but I wouldn't recommend it. I wish you luck Jen.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      hi chip, i'm alright thanks. i may try to see a psychiatrist instead if i can get a referral from my GP, it took me years to get to a psychologist, i don't know how long it would take to see a psychiatrist.  my mother also has depression, so i thought she'd understand, but alas, no. she pretty much said how it was my fault i felt this way, which is NOT something you should say to anyone EVER, then she threw some religious stuff on me and what not, which i really was not in the mood for. i'm going to try telling some of my friends soon, as they are quite worried about me. i'm getting a blood test and seeing my GP tomorrow. i may also get back to the gym soon if i can, my energy has been so low i can barely get out of bed to get food/water. thanks for your advice, i'll report back when i can.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      can always use a mood lightner haha. they ended up kind of pushing it out of me, i wouldn't go as far as to say i regret doing it, but i regret letting them tell my parents, but that's just in my case. thanks dale!
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Jen, What you need is special help! Nothing to be ashamed about the fact you know you need help is a positive thing, when you see your Psychologist just tell them ‘they have heard it many times’ they wont lock you away they will treat you yet to be honest I'd rather live locked away and get the help than risk being pushed over the edge and doing something terrible!!! You mean a lot to many people imagine how they would feel especially your mum and dad they will understand when you tell me they love you!!! Talk to them. You are suffering it’s not your choice to be like this, get the help you need and pretty soon you will be enjoying life again !  keep us posted on how things are going xx
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    8 0 0 2 7 3 t a l k 

    For help if you are having dark thoughtas....

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Jen:

    Glad you are feeling better.  

    Depression and anxiety are rather serious illnesses.  Left untreated - things can sometimes go south.  

    Some people self medicate their depression with drug and alcohol abuse.  Some treat their depression with promiscuity.  Some cope with depression and anxiety with anger and social inappropriateness.  

    For me - finding a decent shrink (psychiatrist) was a life-saver.  I went through over 10 shrinks.  Some were frightening.  Others were incompetent.  But I finally found one who let me try different combinations of different meds until we found something that worked.  

    And the meds need to be fine tuned as life goes on.  Then there are new meds.  Then some people get off meds and exercise A LOT!!!!  Haha.  

    But friends and family can often be a source of even more frustration.  Friends and family are often scared.  And they want to discount our illness.  Or they feel guilty because maybe it was a defective gene they gave us.  Who knows?  But I keep disclosures to family and friends at a minimum.  

    I actually tell very few people about my depression and anxiety.  I simply go to the psychiatrist AND the psychologist.  And I can share there.  I also go to AA meetings.  And I can really and truly share with the other alcoholics.

    And online venues like this one are becoming more and more helpful.   

    But family and friends?  Rarely can they truly help.  Unless they are gifted and smart enough to allow you to have depression.  But if they then decide to share your problems with other family members or friends then things can get weird.  

    I'm so glad you are better. 

    Best,

    Chip

     

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Steve:

      Thank you.  

      Even in my Alcoholics Anonymous group meetings there are small factions that preach "You're not sober if you take meds!"

      So - even sharing with other people in 12-step programs can be deadly.  Sometimes the newbie wants to get sober, and discovers they have depression.  Then the "old-timers" chastise the person for using helpful meds.  So the person goes off meds and then commits suicide.

      So no one should really be practicing psychiatric medicine without a license.  On these websites all we can merely do is share what worked for us and ackowledge the pain that people are going through.

      It's nice to have options.  And it's helpful to see what has helped other people.

      Meds have saved my life.  

      Those same people who criticize those who take meds are the ones who take meds for cholesterol and blood pressure.  And they wear prescription glasses.  

      To me - depression is no different than high blood pressure.  And there are more positive treatments - other than alcohol abuse and self-destruction.  

      Hemmingway - and many others - may still be alive if they had some helpful medicine.  

      I am soooograteful that modern chemists have manipulated molecules in order to help people with inherited chemical imbalances.  

      It took me many years to become grateful.  When I first learned I had depression and anxiety (and ADD and drug and alcohol addiction) I was angry and upset.  

      Best,

      Chip

       

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up