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How will I know

Posted , 7 users are following.

domdomz
domdomz

hi just after soon advice really I have currently been off sick from work since mid August and am due to return on 6th January which I absolutly terrified of . I just wanna know if this means I'm not ready or is it just normal to be this scared. I'm terrified of having to get back in to the routine of work getting up in mornings plus being around and facing everyone. I'm so scared that if I put it off any longer I will not be able to return . I feel like I am totally stuck I a whole I have waited ages for my cbt to start but feel coz there is such a gap between sessions that I am just being left to deal with things on my own . Doc is great but there is only so much they can do . Just feel like I want my life back but my mind is saying something different in scared of how much I just wanna hide away I feel like I can only just cope living normally let alone with work thrown in . Really not sure what to do 

thanks in advance 

Dom 

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • ross66245
    ross66245 domdomz

    Posted

    Hi Dom

    I was off work for a few weeks in October and I was feeling the same as you, worrying about going back and if I didnt go back I would never be able to. But I spoke to work and spoke to the doctor and I was able to return on reduced hours which helped me ease back into it all. If you can speak to your doctor and ask about this I would recommend it. Going back full time scared me but I worked my way back up starting with half days and building it up from there.

    • domdomz
      domdomz ross66245

      Posted

      Yea I have spoke to them and they have agreed to reduced hours but that still terrifies me it's like something in my head will not let me even think that I will be ok . I have been Challanging the thought and it does work so I've just been putting it down to not being ready but I'm starting to think now that I'll never be ready . I just feel like I find work to hard but if I don't work I can't live it's horrible . I don't get why the goverment don't take this illness serious to help people that suffer with this and working . 

      Thank u for your advise 

    • ross66245
      ross66245 domdomz

      Posted

      It may just be a little too soon to return to work ny the sounds of things but thats just my personal opinion. I was still frightened about going back mainly because of what everyone else were thinking about me. But once I was in everyone was so kind and understanding. Getting that Friday feeling back where you work towards the weekend gave me some sort of normal routine back which I felt lifted me up a slight level. 

      But you are spot on when it comes to how not enough is done to support people going through all this! I had to self refer for CBT and I then waited for a month before the initial assesment...and then told the waiting list would be 3-4 months! I get there are more serious cases out there than me but surely more can be done to help. 3-4 months feeling like this was unthinkable to me.

    • domdomz
      domdomz ross66245

      Posted

      Yea maybe I just think it's been nearly 5 months I've been off and the thought is worse not better so maybe being off is not helping just wish I knew how to change the way I'm thinking. I also worry about what people think of me which I know I shouldn't guess I'm just scared of getting back to normality . I have lost my confidence and just think I'm not gona b able to do my job anymore . Just wish I could be normal. 

      I waited about 3 months and now the sessions r so far apart I feel like I'm just being left to it . Mental health team needs looking at big time..

      thank u for your reply

  • Aspinan
    Aspinan domdomz

    Posted

    Hi Domdomz, sounds like your not ready to me if your unsure about it but the compromise is that your GP can recommend a gradual return to work which your employers can't ignore, a sick note has the option on it saying a gradual return would be beneficial but your GP needs also to hear what your feeling to decide if it's appropriate or indeed if your GP feels you are ready.

    Do discuss it further with your GP and employer, your employers will not want you in wirk if you are unfit as it's against H&S both internal and statutory.

    Ive always waited until I feel "ready myself" to return and then it's a fazed return, maybe just doing mornings or a couple of hours, the details can be agreed between you and work but you must be happy with it and if it doesn't work out then you weren't ready.

    My councellor said you need to feel bored of being off before going back but we all know practically that's not always possible is it. 

    Hope that helps.

     

    • domdomz
      domdomz Aspinan

      Posted

      Thank u .. I will be doing a phase return but this still terrifies me . I'm not being pressured to go back I just feel the longer I'm putting it off the worse the worry is becoming even tho I have been off so long I have been there everyday in my head it's all I think about. I do get bored being home everyday but I also feel like that's all I can cope with right now. I feel like having the responsibility of work will Just tip me over the edge . And I think people are starting to feel like I'm just taking the  mik. I'm just scared I will never feel ready ...

       

    • btyrad13
      btyrad13 domdomz

      Posted

      Hi Dom,

      I am curious if perhaps your position at work was really the cause of all this anxiety? I myself think mine stemmed from work. Have you thought possibly about a new job/ beginning somewhere else?

      I am having the same debate right now as you but I think I will search for a better work environment.  Btw did any of you lose a lot of weight with this?

    • domdomz
      domdomz btyrad13

      Posted

      I think maybe it had a little to do with the stress of work as my nan was brought in to the hospital I work in ( she has sadly passed away now ) back in august and I found it very stressful as we had had quite a lot of stress trying to look after her the last few months she was Alive and think the fact that she was in the place I used as my escape space she was now in it and she wasn't the easiest to look after I know as she had a personality disorder but they spent alit of time talking about her around me (not in a nice way ) I found it really difficult to do my job . 

      I have thought of trying to get a new job but I think if I can't be normal around people that know me what chance do I have with people I don't . And I feel like everytime things get to this point in my jobs I always run awAy so I feel I need to face it or I will always run in the future .

      I did loose loads of weight but since starting my new tablet mirtazapine it has made me start eating again .

      Thank u for your reply 

  • lucy04117
    lucy04117 domdomz

    Posted

    hi Dom   i think everything has been said in the other replies but my daughter has been suffering from severe depression and i think it all stemmed from stress at work. when she had to go back to work she didnt want to....she was terrified. its better now as most of the people at work know why she was ill and work have been very good....arranging counselling etc. but if she hasto have even 2 days off and then go back it gets harder and harder the longer you are off. i think you do need to go back...to get your confidence back...and im sure after a few days you will look back and wonder why you felt so anxious about it. im not saying it will be all plain sailing but once you are back....you will have more confidence to look for other jobs if you want to. get back into the routine now before you go back of getting up early etc...sort all your clothes out so you dont have to worry about that. make sure you are eating well and try to get proper sleep...and that should help. as the time gets nearer you will be more prepared.also have answers prepared for when colleagues ask how you are etc.  you can always think to yourself that you can leave at anytime. from what ive heard from others in the same situation its never as bad as you were thinking it was going to be. good luck
    • domdomz
      domdomz lucy04117

      Posted

      I think the problem is I tried to go back to work after 3 weeks which was awful I lasted 1 day and had to go off again so I'm terrified the same will happen. I have been trying to get up early but I don't feel with it for at least 2-3 hours . I am so scared of trying to get back to normal I feel I just want to hide away. But I know I will not start feeling better till I do . Just wish it wasn't so hard. Thank u for your advise 
    • Aspinan
      Aspinan domdomz

      Posted

      Hi mate, you will know when you are ready to return to work and the thought that you won't feel any better until you do return to work is a classic thought with anxiety and depression so don't be fooled by those thoughts I've been through it and going through it again.

      I feel like closing down and hiding away also but I push and do what I can, you don't have to try and be normal and to normal things just take small manageable steps.

      Neil 

    • domdomz
      domdomz Aspinan

      Posted

      I just don't know how long u can stay on the sick while ya in a job is they like a time limit or can u be off as long as u need. I just hate it I feel like my life has completely stopped its horrible and feel like my family expect me to go back in new year too and coz I live with them it would b difficult to not go back . Thank u Neil it's nice to talk to someone that is going through it too .
  • anne240
    anne240 domdomz

    Posted

    I was off work for 10 months, and then after a spell in a psychiatric hospits off for 8 months.  So scary the thought of going back, but I don't think you can do it unless you think you can really cope.

    i eventually had to go onto benefits as could not work due to mental illness.  Only you will know whether you can face work.  Go back only if you feel ready.

    • domdomz
      domdomz anne240

      Posted

      hi Anne sorry to hear that u were in hospital .... Did u go back to the same job ? Like I said to Neil I worry there is a time limit to how long I can b off it I end up off again it would be like 6 months I had been off and I worry they will sack me. 

      See I don't think I would get benifits last time this happened about 5 years ago I had to give up my job they gave me esa for a little while but then sent me for a meeting assessment and made me go back to work and I was loads worse that time could barely leave the house .

      im just worried I'll never feel ready :-( 

      thank u for your reply 

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