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I am 16 years old, I have PDD-NOS( A highly functioning form of Autism spectrum) and I suffer from Severe Depression. I find it impossible to cope with this depression. All I ever think about is death. I have found myself imagining ways I could have killed myself in the past. I can't take the pressure of people making me into a person whom I am not, I want to be myself and do my own things on my own terms but that obviously won't ever happen in the future. I started suffering from this ever since I entered 6th grade. I was beat up, tortured, choked, you name it... All just because I was different from everyone else. I was treated like this for years and I did nothing about it because I was scared out of my mind. What did it for me was when I was told these exact words from my tormentor. "Everyone would be happier if you would do this world a favor and go kill yourself."
From that moment on, I believed him. I had actually believed that I would be better off dead than alive. I will never be able to get that moment out of my head. Even my own best friend didn't do anything about it and I looked up to him. My days are not going to last long because I have to deal with my tormentor again, now that I am in 10th grade.
I don't think I am going to last another year or more if this keeps up.
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