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I am at breaking point, needing advice badly

Posted , 6 users are following.

samantha92492
samantha92492

I'm a 22 year old female and I was diagnosed with clinical depression 2 years ago. As far as depression goes I've always had it, but my diagnosis is recent.

Anyway, this illness is ruining my life. I've been depressed every day and I'm taking antidepressants but they're not working well. I've been on 2 brands so far which have done sod all and now this one looks like it's going to fail me. I'm also seeing a psychologist which helps but I'm limited to 10 sessions. I feel this won't be enough.

Career wise I'm studying a HNC but I'm being advised to quit as it's making my mental health worse. I've always had paranoia and delusions but the stress of college is making them worse. For example one of my delusions is that I am convinced one of my college friends is going to cast a spell on me which will kill or hurt me.

My therapist is suggesting hospital but I am away to Germany soon to visit a friend. That said, I dunno how much longer I can take these problems of mine. I've never been this low before in my entire life and I've just had enough. I can't take this crap anymore.

So then... should I get myself admitted into a psych ward? Or what else should I do?

 

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • amberstar33
    amberstar33 samantha92492

    Posted

    How long have you been having the delusions? 

    Sounds like a really tough time for you at the moment. 

    How long are you going to stay with your friend for? 

    • samantha92492
      samantha92492 amberstar33

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply!

      Tbh I've always had them. Recently they've been quite intrusive and at one point (years ago) I was on anti-psychotics to help curb them.

      I'll be with my friend for 10 days. I'm not at risk for being sectioned (well, not yet anyway).

  • Aspinan
    Aspinan samantha92492

    Posted

    Depression is crap isn't it! 

    Wha medication you taking and for how long?

    pressing the pause button on college may be what you need right now or a cutting back on woken load, your kyle speak to course tutor on options.

    Do go to Germany if you feel up to it as hospital will still be there when you get back, if not I'd find out more about what hospitalisation will entail such as care plan, how long, benefits, cons, alternatives such as mental health nurse visits at home or treated more intensively as an outpatient that way you can make a more informed decision and to ask for others opinions perhaps.

    10 sessions with a psychologist is not an unreasonable amount especially if they give you tasks or "homework to do" and you do what is suggested between sessions.

    You might also find Mindfullness helpful, plenty books on the subject in the libraries and recommended by NICE as an effective Programme for depression.

    Plenty options for you to feather into the meds which can take 8+ weeks to feel any noticeable benefits once you've got over any side effects.

    Keep us posted please.

    Neil 

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan

      Posted

      On the casting a spell, you say your convinced of this but is this just your depression playing tricks with you? 

      Examine the evidence you have for this assumption and is it rational given he/she is a friend?

      in any event not even Derren Brown can cast spells, I have a friend who is a "White Witch" and has told me that such spells cannot be made, only spells for good can be made.

      Peronally I don't believe in spell casting but in your mind its real but is being fuelled by your illness. 

    • samantha92492
      samantha92492 Aspinan

      Posted

      Hi Neil

      I'm on Trazadone and I've been on it since July.

      I think I need to take a break from college so I'm just going to resign myself. I just cannot find the motivation to study. When I'm studying I literaly sit at my laptop screen and stare with no thoughts entering and this is happening all the time.

      My sister was hospitalized last year (mental health issues run strong in my family) so I know what to expect. I think Germany will do me the world of good so I'm planning to just go and enjoy myself. smile

      Cheers for replying.

    • samantha92492
      samantha92492 Aspinan

      Posted

      It probably is my depression, but my sister has psychosis and psychotic illness runs in the family so maybe I'm having an episode of this??

      She does practice witchcraft so I dunno where this paranoia stems from. It is probably this illness messing with my head.

    • samantha92492
      samantha92492

      Posted

      The friend I mean, not my sister lol.
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 samantha92492

    Posted

    HI Samantha, I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much at the

    Moment.. is there any way possible that you could defer your trip to

    Germany until you feel better... I feel that you certainly need. Some kind

    Of help for you present and future mental health .... the hospital is not anything to worry about and you really do need to feel better to enjoy

    Your life once more.....I have been in four times for depression and

    Alcohol abuse ( my son was sectioned at 18 yrs and I did not cope well )

    It literally saved my life.. please, please, please if you are offered help

    Take it, your life can and should be worth living again, I would be dead

    Now without it and my husband, my four children, twin sister, fantastic

    Brother and the rest of my family would have been utterly devastated...

    Also I am going to be a grandma !! Xx in April next year...

    You can climb out of this black hole... please accept help... you will be

    Sincerely x in my thoughts and prayers xxx I wish you peace of mind

    ...Deirdre xx

    • samantha92492
      samantha92492 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Hi Deirdre,

      Wow I'm really glad that hospital did so much for you, and it sounds like you have a lot of support so I'm pleased for you. smile

      I've paid out a lot of money for this trip so opting out isn't really an option for me. I'm thinking it ight take my mind off a lot of things and keep me distracted.

      And awww congrats on being a grand parent! Thank you for your kind words and prayers, I really appreciate that.

  • martyn66070
    martyn66070 samantha92492

    Posted

    Hy Sam, I 'get' what you're saying, though I've never been diagnosed with depression, only adjustment disorder. . 

    The advice I can offer from personal experience, is to get in touch with you're GP & have a frank & open discussion about how your are feeling & the fact that the anti depressents don't appear to be working, as you're still feeling depressed!!

    If it gets really bad & you start to lose control, then present yourself at A&E or ring 999!

    Delusions really need to get looked into further because you may have other contributing mental health illnesses as well as your depres. .

    I appreciate that your going through a really tough time, ( & have been for a while) but posting on here is a really positive step!! Don't give up on yourself & keep talking!! 

    Best wishes, Martyn. 

  • vickylou
    vickylou samantha92492

    Posted

    If you feel so low that you start to have suicidal thoughts, then yes I think you should consider being hospitalised. The hospital will be able to help you get the right treatment and counselling as well as other therapies. Group discussions, which sound quite daunting at first, are a good way of finding out your not alone and other people feel the same, and have similar fears and worries.

    i had postnatal depression after each of my three kids, but the youngest (she's 25 now!) was by far the worst. My health visitor and gp both suggested hospital treatment would be the best way to treat my depression. I was totally against it, angry that anyone thought "I'd lost my marbles" and very frightened. However I started to feel worse each day and had two other kids under five. I stopped taking them to nursery and mother and baby clubs and basically wanted to lock myself away. My husband had to do everything, get them all fed, dressed, dropped the oldest two wherever they were going. He did the same after coming home from work each night. I must of had a moment of clarity and said I needed help. Had I not done, I would eventually have been sectioned and in hospital.

    i spent six weeks on the mother and baby unit of the physciatriic hospital and it was the best thing I did. I came out a different person and was so glad I took the help offered.

    • samantha92492
      samantha92492 vickylou

      Posted

      Thanks for the input about hospital! smile

      Wow sounds like you had a really tough experience. Glad to hear that you're feeling better now. I can only imagine how hard it must be raising a family with depression, so well done for getting help!

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