Posted , 6 users are following.
My life is falling apart. I suffer from chronic back pain that is not being treated, I'm getting divorced after 28 years together, everything in my life is going wrong. I am desperate. The only reason I don't commit suicide is because I promised my family I wouldn't after my last attempt.
1 like, 10 replies
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PatientMod-A amkoffee
Posted
Hi amkoffee,
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient
diane98246 amkoffee
Posted
Hi Amkoffee . . . I also have chronic back pain every day of my life but stretches usually help. Mine gets worse from sitting and lying down and those of us who have depression do a lot of that. Is it for financial reasons that you do not have treatment for your back problem?
It's so hard for those without depression to relate to us in any kind of understanding way. They tend to think it's our fault and that we should just get our act together.
It's taken me a lifetime to accept the way I am and to accept all the false steps I've taken to deal with the depression, like self medicating with Friday night alcohol binges when I was younger and the resultant wild activities associated with that.
I truly hope you get the help you need here and can begin to accept the way you are and adjust your life accordingly to pamper and indulge yourself as much as possible to make up for the harshness of it all.
I urge you to go to the doctor and tell him what you are reporting here in this forum .
amkoffee diane98246
Posted
I've had back pain for about 13 years but my health including my back have got especially worse in the last 3 years. (I'm a 58 yo female) And because of that my husband has stopped our relationship. As for my back I've had numerous injections over the years, years of physical therapy, I was taking opiates for 10 years but I am not on them now. The back surgeon won't touch me because I have very brittle bones and have had 9 broken bones (6 in my back) in the last 11 months. My pain management doctor has agreed to put in a medicine pump that will deliver a continuous amount of morphine but his staff are moving so slowly. It's been 4 weeks and they haven't even filed a prior authorization with my insurance. Once my insurance approves it then they will schedule the surgery. Thank you for your response.
diane98246 amkoffee
Posted
Yes, my back pain has been about that long and you're right, it does get worse. So sorry to hear about your husband.
I've developed a lot of coping strategies for my pain including stretches and trigger point therapy which involves placing a baseball under the back at the source of the pain and pressing down rolling slightly on it.
So sorry to hear about your dilemma of not being able to get surgical relief for your problems.
I have an acquaintance who has been on a morphine pump for years and seems to be doing quite well with it.
It's my understanding that chronic back pain and depression go hand in hand. Depression and anger of course.
Best of luck getting your remedies in place as quickly as possible.
nash3222 amkoffee
Posted
I am sorry Amkoffee, can feel your pain and share you sense of being at end of your rope. Wish I had some magical words for you, but I don't. All I can say is, your not alone, others ( like me), feel the same sense of pain, isolation and desperation. 😦
hypercat amkoffee
Posted
Dear Amkoffee you help so many on here and you don't deserve to be suffering like this. Not that any us do but you less than most. Ask your uncaring husband what happened to his marriage vow in sickness and in health etc.
I have had a lifetime of back pain so understand a bit of what you are suffering. When I was younger it was a lot more manageable and only really flared up every couple of years ago, but the last it has come to stay. The NHS has always refused to even do an x ray and just tell me it's part of old age.
I'm sorry I can't offer any help but just wanted to say you are valued and loved on here, so never lose your caring, compassionate nature. Love and hugs. Bev xxxx
amkoffee hypercat
Posted
Can't you buy private insurance to pay for it? I've heard of others in your country talk about getting private insurance but I don't know how it works.
hypercat amkoffee
Posted
Health insurance isn't that common here as have the NHS though some do have it. We do have the option of paying for treatment as and when we want it ie a private scan or x ray. The trouble is the NHS can refuse to listen to private patients and can insist that they won't do follow up treatment.
I have seen osteopaths in the past privately as these aren't covered by our health system x
Tammytherareone amkoffee
Posted
Hi amkoffee
I'm so sorry to hear this, I can relate to how you feel especially when you are suffering with chronic pain and have no means of treating it.
Has a doctor refused to treat your pain? It's brave of you to come here to seek support.
Tomorrow is a new day
Hopefully speak to you soon.
amkoffee
Posted
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I'm finally scheduled for the pain pump for Dec. 11. Wish me luck!