I am going to have to end my life at some point cause it’s over

Hi Charlie

So sorry to hear about your accident I can’t even imagine what you must be going through but I do feel for you and the impact it’s having on your life no one deserves that. 

Have you been referred to a pain management clinic? Are your Doctors supportive? Please don’t give up xx

Please do not give up.

Like you said , you do not feel able to tell your whole story. As another person commented .. when you feel ready .. talk to people about your situation and find people who understand. On forums etc. This will help a lot.

You say you have disabilities which sound like they are physical but hard to comment as you have not told your full story.

You were put on earth for a reason. Life is a gift.

Depression is an emotion where you are 'stuck' in an unhappy place. You need to find a way to move forward . And find solutions. Your depression has made you think that ending everything is your solution but NO .. depression is a liar. There are many other solutions. Suicide is a permanent decision that you can never ever take back or change. 

Things will take time to improve but they will. You need to find ways to adjust to your new situation . You have been so brave so far so don't give up!! 

Get all the support you can. 

Little steps at a time. 

You seem intelligent and eloquent in your writing so I am sure you have a lot to give the world. You may not be able to do the same hobbies you enjoyed before but with strength you can find new hobbies.

Do you enjoy reading , writing, creating? Think of all the possibilities of exciting new things you can do.

Look what Stephen Hawkins achieved in his life of being severely disabled. 

I think you should also pray to god and start believing in a higher power and that god is looking after you and all will be well.

I am sorry if you find any part of this message patronising as it was not meant to be and I fully understand you are going through a majorly tough and difficult time and YOU are a truly amazing person. You can handle whatever life throws at you . Your have the power !! 

Hi Sam, Sherri, and jay babes,  thanks for responding and  and caring. I really appreciate your good thoughts.  I posted on here cause I am at the end of my rope. So I will tell you some basics but ru to keep it short and to the point even though it’s embarrassing as hell.  So I damaged my pudendal nerve which is the nerve that runs off of your tailbone’s and up through your paraneum and through your balls and to your penis or if you are female then the vagina.  It controls all bathroom and sexual function.   I also tore tissue and or si ligament some to. I have this constant tearing and pain with sitting and instability that never goes away for 3 years now.  Can’t  go on trips or do anything active cause everything makes it worse.  Barely sit through reasraurants.  I also tore my hip labrum and damaged my hip and cartilede bad which I had a major surgery for it a year and a half ago.  The hip is way better than it was but still have chronic pain with weight barring and si joint pain.  Breathing problems as well because my right side has no support anymore so it kind of collapses down putting pressure in my diaphragm and heart.  There are a ton more symptoms but you get the idead.   So being ripped up the center of your body along with all the other give me a hardcore psychological problem.  No more girls or dating or even feeling comfortable around them or in public.  So unless magic falls from the sky I will never have another girlfriend again.  I loved girls they can be so pretty.  When I see One I just want to cry and kill myself.  I also can’t stand looking st myself in mirror anymore like one of you said.  I miss my old life with a passion and have nightmares about it and don’t get hardly any sleep.  I have made it almost 3 yes now but don’t know how much longer I can hold on cause there appears to be no fix for it. The majority of the mainstream medical community will denie that this even exists cause it doesn’t show up in any test and I have already pursued it to the fullest.  So I don’t know anymore. 

Hi Charlie you really have gone through the mill ,i can not say i know how you feel being a woman but ti was me who told you my story, and all what i went through all i do know is what it is like to live in constant pain every day , i have had to learn to live with it and adapt my life around it, it has not been easy all the things i love to do i cant not but there are other things i find i can do, i feel there is help for you ,my mum has constant pain in her back and legs , she was told she would end up in a wheelchair she had a major op, cost my dad lots of money has the waiting list was to long and sorry to say it did not work, my mum got so down, but she is a fighter and kept going to the hospital till they were sick of the sight of my mum and dad she got treat and belongs to a pain management clinic , it has been great ,she is 81 and no wheelchair, so please charlie i believe there is some one out there who can help you, i hate seeing people suffer, and i hate you to give up, and just keeping talking to us , some one on here may have a solution, take care please keep in touch

Charlie, I urge you not to think about suicide. Just makes it worse! I have felt like that myself -- I am 73 with no spouse, children or grandchildren. I suffer from occasional black depression. What's the point of going on? I've thought that many times. But right now, I am in a much better space, thanks to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) weekly workshop. I am slowly learning to think more positively about myself after a traumatic event when I was 19. Right now, where I live, it's summer and the weather is lovely. I have started swimming in the local pool again, and just got back from a short trip to a little fishing village on an island not too far away from where I live, in Vancouver, Canada. I have reconnected with an old friend, and today a new friend called and asked me for coffee.

IT WILL GET BETTER! Please believe me.