i am so confused and hurt! help

She did put me on medication but I'm still freaking out...my boyfriend went and got tested but no word back from the doctor and he is avoiding to have sex with me now i Dont know what's going through his mind now he's acting weird! I am still confused...I need advise if you think he has it or not I know this whole year we have never used condoms and I am just now having outbreaks and never noticed anything until now? I'm not sure how to feel or think right now. I noticed he has been iching a lot down there here lately but he never has told me if he noticed anything different down there. We haven't had sex since we found out what it was but once when the outbreak was going away but it was on my buttocks while we had no idea what it was and was still waiting to find out by the doctor and that's when the docotor called me and told me it was herpe type 2..so after that he's avoiding sex with me I'm confused

Until such time as all the test results are in, both of you would be well advise not to be involved in any sexual activity with anyone anyway, so maybe he is doing what he has been asked to do by his doctor - ie refrain.

Have you considered just asking him if this is correct, or if there is there some other reason?

 

She said hvs2

She did put me on medication but I'm still freaking out...my boyfriend went and got tested but no word back from the doctor and he is avoiding to have sex with me now i Dont know what's going through his mind now he's acting weird! I am still confused...I need advise if you think he has it or not I know this whole year we have never used condoms and I am just now having outbreaks and never noticed anything until now? I'm not sure how to feel or think right now. I noticed he has been iching a lot down there here lately but he never has told me if he noticed anything different down there. We haven't had sex since we found out what it was but once when the outbreak was going away but it was on my buttocks while we had no idea what it was and was still waiting to find out by the doctor and that's when the docotor called me and told me it was herpe type 2..so after that he's avoiding sex with me I'm confused

Well thats selfish of him seeing as you guys had sex already during your ob he kinda Already has it.....my boyfriend doesnt hav it and we still hav sex protected of course and he is open to unprotected sex as well but you should understand jst like you had to come to terms with it give him the space to also deal with it everyone has different reactions to things like this the best thing you guys could do is jst be their for one another emotionally and give eachother the support and comfort

I'm willing to bet he passed it to you, he's just an asymptomatic carrier. I will respond more later when I get a chance.

How long ago did he get the test ans did he specifically request for herpes?

I think I know exectly what you are thinking.

Check your emails

No he didn't ask the doctor he told to doctor to check for everything he got blood drawn so I told him we were going to have to start wearing codons and he told me he Dont like to wear them.

He got tested about 4 days ago

OK, well again, when you tell a doctor you want everything checked, that is equivalent to a full STD panel. Due to the words herpes never leaving his lips, can't be sure he was put in it. His blood was drawn for HIV. Question would be, ask him how many bikes did he had drawn?

Well if it's only been four days, then teats aren't back yet.

So let me get this straight, he seemed to not want to have sex w you after your diagnosis, but now doesn't want to use condoms knowing you have herpes? Hmm.... Doesn't that sound strange to you?

Yeah that's what I told him I asked him why didn't you say herpes that what I have and I knew I should hVe just gone with him to the doctor! Yeah that's what I thought weird how he doesn't want to usecondoms now and is avoiding have sex with me I'm concerned he is going to leave but he isn't acting any different as he was before I was diagnosed just wont have sex with me now I love him and just wish he would tell me the truth I feel like he's hiding something...if he doesn't like wearing condoms then he is probably the one who gave it to me! Before we got together he were just hooking up and never not once used condoms so I'm highly concerned

Never cheated and i never feel like he cheated...and after a year and three months bam I have an outbreak...don't understand

My first outbreak ever!

I am so sorry for typos. I type fast from my phone and I'm not proof reading before I submit.

Well just know, condoms only provide about a 30-50% protection against herpes or HPV.

His behavior is strange, but wait for the results and ask to see them. He may be in denial. If he won't show them, that's a red flag.

Listen honey, if he leaves you over this, you don't want him. He is not marriage material. Men who are marriage material, abide by the saying "through sickness and in health" concept.

My ex husband found out he had genital warts when we were tested for STDs before sexual activity 3 months into our relationship. I loved him at that point, but still did not have sex w him for another 5 months after we were married. I was young and knew it wasn't meant to be, but was in denial. I tell this story, because I loved him enough to stick around regardless of his situation and knowing I couldn't possibly have had it, being we hadn't had sex. Someone who really does love you, won't walk away despite the risk . oh BTW, he walked away from our marriage by having multiple affairs, not me.

If someone can leave you over something non-life threatening and so minor, can you really say they love you? Do you really think they'll stick it out when life gets real hard? Nope... Doesn't seem like it now, but you'll be surprised at how much herpes will expose the sincere, to the not so sincere men in your life.

Yeah your so right I've only told my parents and my best friend about being hepre positive they are VERY supportive and they tell me they love me unconditionally and my best friend told me she sees me as the same person I'm not any different so they are being very supportive through this all...and you are exactly right and I need to relaize this that if he really does love me he will sacrifice anything to stay with me so far he says he loves me and he isn't going anywhere but him leaving me is still in the back of my mind at all times just because I could be the only one to have this beteween me and him just fear I guess! Just guess I can hope for the best I am slowly accepting my diagnose going to take some time but I am looking more towardsthe positive then at first when I found out I was constantly looking towards the negitive but II'll get there

Thank you for advise you made me realize a lot and things to think about when it comes to love and relationship..if you don't mind me asking how long have you had HPV?

I don't have HPV, I had protected sex w him and he always kept in boxer briefs when we had sex. His area of infection w thevearts was covered by the condom. Warts don't behave like hsv.

I will have had herpes for a yr in July how ever.

all your emotions are normal to feel and you deserve the time to grieve this, just don't stay there. All of us would choose not to have this, but I have to say, it has steered me clear of two men who are no good for me. You no longer are driven by lust, which makes you automatically blind to red flags, but w logic. It really does make you end up having xray vision, w identifying the true character of someone, you'd normally be too swept up w attraction.

I agree with that i see things so much differently knw when it comes to relationships i steer clear frm the games and the bull now

I meant HSV how long have you had it? I know I'm trying to deal with it I know ill be fine and it's not life threatening just wish Iknew who gave it to me its all confusing

I've had it for 10 1/2 months.

Have the outbreaks gotten better for you? I just got done with my second outbreak and sure hope it stays gone for a bit

Well I take daily meds, but I still break out inside w one internal sore on the third day of my period and if I drink lots of liquor and stay out late I break out w one bump. Goes away in two days if I soak in Epsom salt baths. Are you on daily meds? I have no warning or signs a bump is coming up. What was your second ob like?

Yeah I just start to itch when I know its coming...the first one was on my anal then my second OB was on vaginal and I have more then one bumb more like 8 little bumps and they burn and itch but now it's gone and I'm back to normal and wish it will not come back...I take 1000 mg valacyclovir daily and the doctor gave me pain meds to relieve the pain when it comes..I actually just went back to my doctor to ask more questions and she relieved my fears and she told me its very rare to spread the virus to my face unless it's through oral sex. So I'm slowely at ease just hate the outbreaks and one day hope to get back to a normal sex life with my boyfriend of a year I feel like it is making our relationship really difficult right now and it sucks!

Are you currently in a relationship?

And I'm not too sure just yet what causes my outbreaks maybe its too soon to tell but I know my second outbreak was a week before my period then it went away like as soon as my period was over..

And how long do you soak in Epson salt??

Well you have type 2, type 2 doesn't really spread orally. Only 1% of oral herpes, are of hsv 2 cases. Just doesn't spread there easily and it's been in immune compromised patients, such as HIV.

nope, not Inna relationship. Can't bring myself to deal w men at this point in my life.

You said your bf is getting tested soon right? How is he handling things now?

My period is a trigger for me as well. Now I don't break out on the outside during my period, I just get like one internal sore inside and I may have burning on my tailbone.

Aside from my period, it seems to be big amounts of liquor being consumed and staying our late drinking does it to me. Beer and wine doesn't so it to me. However, the week before last, my butt bones felt sore and pressure on them such as sitting or on my tailbone, felt tender. I had quite a few sugary alcoholic beverages and I noticed when I was home that evening I itched where my butt bone would be, like bottom of buttcheeks, close to crack and I felt a bump. Looked and I had a pastuel. I popped it and it was very superficial and a little sore... Went away a couple days later. That was pretty random.

I soak in those baths as long as possible... Hr or more. I make an evening out it. Wine, candles and a book, so it doesn't feel like I'm dealing w herpes

Yeah I didn't know much about the virus didn't know how it all worked until I asked doctor a bunch of questions and read online about it . Yeah he's better notice he doesn't bring it up at all he already got tested..just waiting for the results to come back in but I'm sure he got it from me by now unless he was a carrier and didn't know and isn't having outbreaks and gave it to me . Still a mystery I feel like he Is just not having sex with Me right now...he told me he loves me no matter what and told me we will work through it because all it is..is a skin condition but in the back of my mind I have fear of him leaving if he doesn't have it....that's just the way I am though i shouldn't be like that though just scared and nervous

That's crazy I guess everyone is different In this situation I've heard all different stories about how some people it gets better like later on having no more BO then some people it gets worse

Yeah I try to avoid drinking and I'm going to start soaking in Epsom salt and I started to workout and eat healthy so hope it helps...well hopefully it gets better for you also and maybe one day you will find peace and love

I really believe he likely gave it to you, for real. He's had no symptom's since being w you... I think he's an asymptomatic carrier. When do you expect results?

I think it's normal to feel that way, especially because now his reluctance to have sex w you, I going to make you feel like he's waiting to see, so he can bolt. I have massive trust issues, so I am no one to give advice on trusting.. Lol.

Mine used to be really bad... Like severe neuropathy and then constant stenage nerve sensations. I changed up my supplemental routine, that promotes nerve and immune system health and I had a huge reduction in symptoms. I'm fine w my diag, nothing I can change about it now. I'm sure some old emotions and fears will resurface when I get close to disclosure one day.

I'm not sure he went and got tested for everything last Monday so soon he should get them yeah I have a gut feeling he did give it to me! After this I'm sure I'll have trust issues I already tried to break up with him I told him if we weren't going to have sex then our relationship won't work....then he told me to shut up and come home! So I Dont know I'm confused!oh well if he does bolt I'm coming to realise he never loved me if he does

So sorry you're going through this. I think he's a real insensitive pr*ck if he does bolt. I'd be suspicious of his behavior too and you are right, if he bots, he never loved you or at least didn't ylsee you as the girl he'll be w forever. See, the difference betweenen and women is women date and commit when we think this is someone we could be w possibly forever. We don't like wasting our time. Men arw not the same, until they get older... Usually in their 40s, they stop w the nonsense... But when will date someone even for a few yrs, because she's great for right now, but no they never have intent of a future w her. So if he bolts, then you know where his intent will be.

Yeah I sure hope not I feel like after this all blows over and he stays that just shows me he is an amazing man..before this happen he always talks about our future together and plans me in his future he's changed so much he use to go out drinking every night now I can't even get him to go out drinking with me he says he is to old for that and he has everything he needs at home a good girlfriend whey would I need to go out....so he is a sweet guy! A lot of stuff he does shows me he loves me I think he is just trying to deal with my diagnose just like I am I guess maybe I shouldn't just assume he will leave and just see what happens ya know just scared to lose him and you are very right about men every guy I have ever been with was a**holes until I met him and he changed my outlook on all men aren't the same...all I can do is pray our relationship gets better from here everything happens for a reason if he stays it can make our relationship that much better and we can get through anything and if he leaves maybe he isn't the right one for me just have to look at this in a different way I guess

You know, he may be feeling guilty as well and could be reason for his distance as well. I think what's meant to be will be meant to be. I'm pretty confidence he'll come back positive, so all will be fine. I will be shocked I he doesn't.

Yeah that's very true and I'm pretty sure it will be positive also no way we have never worn condoms since day on of our relationship and we had sex while I was on medicine to help my first outbreak but we had no idea what it was the doctor told me it looked like shingles so we blew it off and we didn't think anything of it so we had sex becausee the pain was almost gone from my buttocks so I'm pretty sure he is positive not something I want but something we will have to live with...

Thank you so much for you talking to me your making everything better and making me feel so much better about my diagnose and very thankful you are taking time out of your day to discuss everything with me

Oh it's not a problem, I'm here whenever you need me. I appreciate the kind words, as I am close to not responding on here anymore, because I run into some people w stank @ss attitudes, because they're in denial and don't want to admit what they have or they just read something wrong and try to attack me and I take time because I do care, because I remember what it felt like and I was so alone. I didn't join a forum until 5 months after diagnosis, so I didn't have much support and had a friend call me out and not believe me about my nerve pain. Asked if maybe it was in my head, because how come I'm having such a severe and different reaction than everyone else. I told her how much that hurt me. She never apologized and I didn't speak to her for two months and she still hasn't apologized and that was almost a yr ago!!! Even after I found others who had neuropathy , even though not as severe as myself.

But anyway... I was thinking of just not coming on here anymore, but every now and again, I get someone who is appreciative such as yourself and makes me reconsider.

<3>

Yeah that's when you need to realize you don't need people like that in your life friends are suppose to uplift you in hard times not say it's all in your head and actually care about problems when you need a friend..I never told anyone about my diagnose but my parents and my best friend and she has been so uplifting towards my diagnose and trying to help my situation better as much as she can! I'm sorry your friend did that to you! Yeah I'm not like that I have a good heart and still to this day don't understand how people are so hurtful! Ya know...your very welcome even though I had my family there and my boyfriend and my best friend there..but still yet I felt so alone about my diagnose that's why I got on here to talk other people who have the same condition as me and could bring me ease and I'm very happy you replied!!

You can have a village around you, but I'd they don't have it, you feel alone. I remember, although knowing logically this not to be true and some distant out if touch friends had it, like I was the only one in the world. I remember walking around and feeling like u had a Scarlett H on my forehead and people could just tell I had it. Silly, but that's what I thought. I carried almost everyday for like two months. I think my nerve pain, made it harder for me to move on. I'm coming up on my one year anniversary in a month n half of having this. It's funny, because my life no lie went on fast forward since this happened to me. I can't even believe it's been a yr almost, doesn't feel like it, yet it took me quite awhile to get where I am emotionally around it. I think coming on here and helping people was very therapeutic for me and helped heal me too, while I helped others.

Yeah I know what you mean I feel like everyone knows and I'm nervous for people to find out ! It's embarrassing!! Me and my boyfriend finally had sex last night we talked about everything he tried calling The doctor to see his test results but they wont answer or return his phone calls he told me thought about and he said he knows he has it if I do he told me we will wear condoms and be careful but I told him it wasn't healthy for our relationship to not have sex because it's been a month well after I told him that he told me all that and we finally had sex and I'm glad it happen because I felt our relationship was not going to last!

Yeah, don't worry... It's normal to go through that phase and it will pass, because come on.... How would people know from looking at us!? It's silly, but we still think it.do peopewho have oral herpes walk around w shame and worry people know? Nope and either should we!

I'm glad you guys had sex finally. Did it hurt by chance? I still have not had sex since I got it... I just started my period, so in another two days I will have an internal ob. Blah... My nerve pain in my buttock was bothering me a bit last night sitting on a hard stool.. Eeeck!

Weird that nobody is answering, but I suspect your bf knows he has it, but is in denial a bit. Keep me updated and your head up, it'll all work itself out!

You havnt had sex in a year?

In July it'll be a year I did two yrs before that and then I do after all that time being abstinent and I get this lovely gift.. Lol... Story of my life.

I had sex today and cried me and my boyfriend use condoms now sex feel so not intimate anymore its painful doing doggy style i actually broke down and cried during sex today i jst feel so barrened

Have you discussed having unprotected sex w him and that if you're on meds, it is just a 2% risk?

Yeah I know it sucks lol I still feel like people know! no not at all it didn't hurt I haven't even felt a outbreak coming I took a shower after sex and a hot salt bath tonight and the night before no sign of a. Outbreak yet..knock on wood!! I been taking my meds and I hope it doesn't come anytime soon! Is it normal to feel like your going to spread it everywhere while sex? Because it's wet down there and he touched me Down there...we did wash our hands afterward but yet I still feel like I'm going to spread it to my face ect... I do feel like sex is now hard work to not spread it to our hands or anything

Yes, I was obsessed w wondering if I was gonna spread to my eyes fie the longest time

You're not gonna spread it to your hands. However, refrain from using a finger that has an open wound or broken skin from a hang nail on your cuticles

Yes i have and it jst still made him uneasy i think.....because i think he is nervous i might not b with him in the future because we do have our ups and downs

Boyfriend got his test results back and he is positive too! But has no symptoms at all weird how things work in life

Yep! Told you! I knew it! So now how does he feel about this all?

He still says it's nothing to be ashamed of and something we have to live with he's taking better then I did...I feel like our relationship is a little bit rocky though now I don't know it's weird he's been distant this last week I even caught him jacking off....I dint know what to think

I Dont know he is just not acting the same

You would think that would bring you guys closer together? Wow thats freaky but at least this proves he gave it to you?

Hmm..... That is very strange. I have to kinda wonder and consider if he may have knew all along or at least suspected it.... Especially because of his reaction or rather lack of and maybe his distance is guilt.

Honey, men jack off all the time. They do it when when they get sex whenever they want.. They're just wired differently. Have you considered maybe going to couples therapy?

he didnt even wanna get a test let alone couples therapy

yeah it is very strange i havent talked to him about therapy yet..but it is a idea...and i feel like maybe that or he is guilty of cheating and now hes freaked out because he could have caught it by cheating on me!! I dont know im confused..do yall think he cheated maybe? when we first got together the first 2 months of being with him i caught him messaging another girl of facebook one of his "friend" thats a girl/...and the message said that if it doesnt work out he could see him dating her and he thought she was beautiful...confronted him about it and he said he was sorry and he wont do it again havent caught him doing it again but if hes going to do it once how can i trust him not to do it again and just hide it better.....idk what to think