I am so lonely

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I am so depressed. I am 27 years old. I am currently working full-time in an office as an Project Assistant and I am also doing a degree and is in my third year of a four years degree in Financial Economics. I feel awful. I am no boyfriend and I doubt that I ever will. I missed out on a deadline for work application and I fear that I am just a failure. I am going to call the Bank to see if I can do the test tomorrow online so that I can still be considered for the Internship role.

I need your guy's advice, wisdom and help.

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  • Posted

    Well as someone whos in the same boat as you about been single and knowing that im more then likely going to stay single until i die because women just dont look at me that way they see me an they see the guy whos shoulder they lean on once they get dumbed or in other words im in the forever friendzone box even when i tell a girl i fancy her she shrugs it off an tells me to stop joking.

    So that gets old fast but then the relationships i have been in have all ended with me hating uk women more an more an breaking all trust i have in the opposite sex.

    I still have hope that one day ill find a women who will see me as more then a shoulder to cry on or as a stepping stone onto her next victim.

    I try not to think about it though as that truly depresses the hell out of me since i dont have a job or anything else that would keep me occupied so when i get depressed everything seems worse cause i got no way of blocking it out.

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  • Posted

    Hi Louise and Wings of Pegasus from sounds of it you are both home sick and in need of a friendly face,

    louise i hope you make that call and i will say a little prayer you can still do the test.

    As for boyfriends/girlfriends there is no rushing that area of your life the right one will come along for now

    you need to be happy with yourself you need to sort out careers, live your life for you first.

    pegasus like you i find i am here for friends when they are down but when its me who need help there seems to be know one to want to help, if you not working you might have to much time to be sitting thinking and getting yourself upset try volunteering maybe a local charity shop or church

    I left my hometown 27 years ago there is not a day goes bye that i don't wish i could go back,i met and married and started the family only for my husband to leave and i now bring up my children on my own ihave my good days and then my bad days i think why i will never meet another boyfriend who will want me/kids but then i look and see 1 daughter got her degree other 2 children working hard at school i am buying my home and i say i did that

    so hold your head up high you are both brave people get up to morrow louise make that call pegasus go look into doing something with your time and smile

    takecare

    carolinexx

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  • Posted

    Thanks Caroline for your kind words. I will try to call today although the mobile connection in my office is abysmal. Had a big row with my mum this morning. I am just under stress from work, university and home. Sometimes I wish all these things can just end...

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  • Posted

    I would volunteer but my anxiety an agoraphobia dont really let me open my front door let alone walk out of it now when im on the meds for my ibs i can get out but i only normally go to my mothers which dont help considering im a photographer either i may only do landscapes currently but my agoraphobia dont help me at all.

    by the way the ibs meds im on is loparemide which does help with the anxiety an agoraphobia too but ive built up a resistance too it

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  • Posted

    Have you been back to your GP Wings of Pegasus? I think you need to go back to your GP and see what they say. You should go back being a photographer and do the things you enjoy. That could help with your mood.
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  • Posted

    Hi all

    A few months back I felt the same way, I felt that because I never saw any of my friends it meant that I had no friends, I no longer had a boyfriend and I felt that nobody was interested in talking to me anymore or that my friends hated me. This was all part of depression and anxiety. I would sometimes get fixated on whether my friends were still my friends, constantly asking them if we were still friends or if I had done something to upset them when I hadn't heard from them. I don't get to see my closest friends alot because one lives a couple of hours away with her job and the other has a young family and works alot. It has been this way for a while, and we occasionally meet up and talk on the phone when we can, and I had never been upset by it before, but when I started suffering from depression and anxiety it changed my thinking and I was left feeling hopeless and that I had no friends. I learned to realise that just because I don't always get to see them it doesn't mean they aren't there for me, and that it was the depression making me feel that way, making me feel lonely, worthless and hopeless. Try to remember that what you are feeling is just because of your thinking being changed by depression, it puts a big cloud on everything making us only have a negative outlook on everything. I remember my doctor asking me when was the last time I had a day where I was happy and enjoyed my day, and I couldn't think of anything, he explained to me that people suffering from depression have difficulty remembering anything positive and only focus on the negatives. I have been taking mirtazapine for about 3 months now and I am feeling so much better in myself, I am also still waiting for counselling. Have you both been to see your GP's about your depression?

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  • Posted

    I wish the photography helped my mood unfortunately though the only thing it helps stop is my boredom.

    Now if i could find volunteers who would model for me then id use my depression as part of the creativity to set the scene of course that said most shots would be of a gothic nature most been done at night near churches an cemeteries or do day shoots at certain places some public an some id have to hire.

    Here comes the awkward part as ive got great ideas for shoots that are of the semi an artistic nude ann of course their lies the awkward part asking a stranger even a model i could hire to strip.

    Because one id just feel wrong and two id rather shoot a friend because not only would it help me to build up my own confidence and low self esteem but it would help them too since most of my friends i talk too also suffer from depression or anxiety.

    unfortunately even though they have agreed their not close enough to me for it to work which does suck in fact the nearest friend who agreed is in Sweden, then Texas an California followed up by Jamaica.

    Now yes i could just go on model sights and hire a pro or amateur but even the cheapest local am is still too dear for me to hire.

    Last time i vistied my dr was early this year and im waiting to hear back from the shrink.

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  • Posted

    Yes Sunset I have but I don't want to go back on the medication. To be honest, my coping mechanism at the moment is to keep busy at work, doing my studies and seeing my friends when I can.

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  • Posted

    Yeah it's a good idea to get out and do things as much as you can, and see your friends as much as you can, even if you don't feel like doing alot.

    I can understand you not wanting to go back on medication if you don't have to, if you can cope without then that's good.

    I'm out of work at the moment but try to keep myself busy with other things. My newest hobby is nail art smile.

    Wings of the Pegasus, you should definately try getting out and doing your photography more like louise said!

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  • Posted

    I wish it was as easy as your making it sound but unfortunately its not.

    Hell id love to pop down mote park an take shots as the sun sets or go walk my mothers dumb dog an take photos of him running on the field but with my ibs, Anxiety and agoraphobia its not that easy.

    Ill put it this way my flat could be burning down and id stay an burn then walk 10ft out the front door not because i dont want to but because walking those 10 ft scare me more.

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  • Posted

    No i can appreciate that it is difficult for you at the moment, i spent weeks indoors avoiding going out anyway for the fear of anxiety and panic attacks.
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  • Posted

    Hi wings of pegasus you really need to see a doctor as you must try get some help to get out of your flat. You could do some night photographs out your windows even the dullest street can look good in a photo
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  • Posted

    Difficult seems easy my dr is only a 2 min walk around the corner an even though ive got a bike cause i hate walking due to my ibs so having a bike means when i gotta go i can atleast get to a toilet fast but it seems impossible

    I even missed my brothers birthday because i couldnt leave my flat even though i wanted too go my agoraphobia said no you aint followed by my anxiety making my ibs go on auto fire so every time i went to go out the door i had to rush to toilet.

    I'm practically a prisoner in my own home and my anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and ibs are the prison warden and guards.

    I absolutely despise whats happening to me

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  • Posted

    I can understand what you are going through Wings of Pegasus. I was stuck in doors from the age of 21-23 due to panic attacks and feeling anxious. Life can seem so difficult and hopeless. What are you doing at the moment to occupy your time? Sunset 17 - Great to hear about the nail art please keep it going. I am sorting out my ISA account for the tax year this weekend and off to a Viking exhibition at the British museum tonight. Also I will do my university work this weekend. Guys it's important to keep yourself occupied with things that you once enjoy, sitting at home festering is really a bad formula for getting more depressed.
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