Posted , 8 users are following.
So I don't know how I've done this, but I've really done a number on myself. I feel as though I have ended up in a hell that I designed to be the most torturous thing for me apart from literal torture. People always say but you should be thankful for what you have, and yes I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep in and running water and the like, but I cannot do this anymore. I've been in the same school for 5 years now and until recently I didn't realise how much it has ground me down and made me completely miserable. I have 2 years there but when you live, like I, on a day to day basis as the thought of a week from now scares the crap out of me because I'm unsure if I will make it to next week, it seems like an eternity. I can't switch school. It is a boarding school so I spend all my time there. Currently I'm on Christmas holiday but I have to go back in three days and part of me wonders if it wouldn't be better to kill myself before that and save myself the pain. I've tried talking to my parents but it's like they just want to put me on another medication so that I can get on with it. I'm sick of school, I'm sick of the system and the stress, it's killing me. Please help
1 like, 19 replies
Adldiane ross08472
Posted
Ross I could never make it 2 more years but that's not how I live my life. I live one moment at a time one hour at a time or one day at a time. I can do something in the moment that would be appalling to me if I had to look into the future and do for two years. It's a concept that few people understand and it took me a long time but I got hold of it when I was young and it saved me mentally. I was a constant worrier come from a long line of "what if worriers" and I was miserable. I was ready for a change and then I learned that about 90% of the things that I worried about in the future never happened. So....I try to keep my head and my butt in the same place. Does any of this make sense to you? Diane
carmela45627 ross08472
Posted
Do you have a goal in life yet?’ Is there something that you would really like to do? A trade? A profession? Would you be able to talk to your family about that?
a42352 ross08472
Posted
Hello Ross,
I am puzzled, if you are of legal age why are you not able to make a choice to leave school? Surely your parents cannot stop you. I realize you may not be able to financially, which would certainly make it difficult. Also, what would the extra two years give you to help you decide on a career? I'm assuming that that is the purpose of the additional time in school.
It's obvious you trying to help yourself by reaching out, seeking help and trying to do what any mature person would do. Which, to me, says a lot about you and that you can find a way to resolve your situation. Keep working on it and keep in mind that where there is a will, there is a way. Try talking with a counselor or a teacher whom you like and see what they come up with. I am certain you will not be the first student who feels the way you do. Take care.
Anne
Join this discussion or start a new one?
New discussion Reply